Sad_Autistic_boy_101
When I die, you'll love me.
- Nov 19, 2019
- 453
Hey everyone!
So I gave this site a break to see if things in my life could improve a little without the need to kill myself after my attempt on August 11th.
Unfortunately it didn't and I'm feeling worst and worst. Feels like the things that I need in life are impossible to achieve, such as moving out of my toxic home into a supported living environment or continuing with my 1 to 1 support which I'm still on the waiting list for, so whilst I wait i'm just taking sleeping pills and codeine.
Annoyingly I have a suicide pact with my therapist meaning that if I try and fail then she will have to report me but also I promised that I wouldn't attempt. Now I'm questioning why I even made the pact as it's a joke. Life doesn't improve, it just gets worst. It's made me feel more isolated as now I don't feel able to talk about suicide with her as I could do before.
Everyone says that I'm young at 19, but my whole life has been full of trauma and sadness and there is no way to get away from it.
I'm just stuck.
So I gave this site a break to see if things in my life could improve a little without the need to kill myself after my attempt on August 11th.
Unfortunately it didn't and I'm feeling worst and worst. Feels like the things that I need in life are impossible to achieve, such as moving out of my toxic home into a supported living environment or continuing with my 1 to 1 support which I'm still on the waiting list for, so whilst I wait i'm just taking sleeping pills and codeine.
Annoyingly I have a suicide pact with my therapist meaning that if I try and fail then she will have to report me but also I promised that I wouldn't attempt. Now I'm questioning why I even made the pact as it's a joke. Life doesn't improve, it just gets worst. It's made me feel more isolated as now I don't feel able to talk about suicide with her as I could do before.
Everyone says that I'm young at 19, but my whole life has been full of trauma and sadness and there is no way to get away from it.
I'm just stuck.