v089
love u too, cv
- May 9, 2023
- 31
Idk what's wrong with me.
I don't want to die but I don't have the energy to live. I just lay in my bed most of the days, sometimes I will go on a walk.
I want to live, I have dreams, but I'm too tired. I lost my job a month ago, trying to look for another one is giving me instant panic attacks. I don't have the energy for anything. I can't afford to live like this, I have no income atm.
And another thing: even if I find the energy to do something, I can't focus on shit. I told doctors so many times, I feel like I'm intellectually challenged, I want to do things and learn new stuff but I CANT. I am unable to learn. I hate myself. Nobody cares.
I know this post makes no sense, I just had to get things off my chest. It doesn't matter.
Ctb feels like the only escape from this hell.
I don't want to die but I don't have the energy to live. I just lay in my bed most of the days, sometimes I will go on a walk.
I want to live, I have dreams, but I'm too tired. I lost my job a month ago, trying to look for another one is giving me instant panic attacks. I don't have the energy for anything. I can't afford to live like this, I have no income atm.
And another thing: even if I find the energy to do something, I can't focus on shit. I told doctors so many times, I feel like I'm intellectually challenged, I want to do things and learn new stuff but I CANT. I am unable to learn. I hate myself. Nobody cares.
I know this post makes no sense, I just had to get things off my chest. It doesn't matter.
Ctb feels like the only escape from this hell.
