W
winamp
Enlightened
- May 20, 2023
- 1,358
I want to see where everything goes in the next 2 - 3 years but I am becoming impatient
sometimes when I think of my deadline I get worried that if I do CTB that my past harassers and bullies will win and will be proven right
I still have nightmares about them sometimes and certain events relating to them although it's been over 8 - 13 years
they have affected me in many ways when it comes to my late adolescents and my adult life (when I do leave the house I only leave the house at certain times of the day when many people aren't out and I always wear baggy clothes instead of the clothes I want to wear because I am ashamed of the features that are commonly sexualized and I am still socially inept but I try my best but I still can't make connections with people or friends in both the real world and online)
I even get the urge to see what they're doing with their lives sometimes although they are probably hard to find now
when time has proved to me that I am not missing out on anything and there isn't anything or anyone worth considering living for and seeking out help isn't enough and the world is still the same I would like to go with peace not with anger or fear but I just can't stop remembering everything all of the time I wish I could forget and move forward
sometimes when I think of my deadline I get worried that if I do CTB that my past harassers and bullies will win and will be proven right
I still have nightmares about them sometimes and certain events relating to them although it's been over 8 - 13 years
they have affected me in many ways when it comes to my late adolescents and my adult life (when I do leave the house I only leave the house at certain times of the day when many people aren't out and I always wear baggy clothes instead of the clothes I want to wear because I am ashamed of the features that are commonly sexualized and I am still socially inept but I try my best but I still can't make connections with people or friends in both the real world and online)
I even get the urge to see what they're doing with their lives sometimes although they are probably hard to find now
when time has proved to me that I am not missing out on anything and there isn't anything or anyone worth considering living for and seeking out help isn't enough and the world is still the same I would like to go with peace not with anger or fear but I just can't stop remembering everything all of the time I wish I could forget and move forward