Venting Stuck and no way out

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I'm just stuck and can't find a way of dying. My parents have locked up all drugs so I can't access them. I am unable to go to a shop and buy more drugs due to being autistic. I don't own a rope either but I've been looking at using a tie. The only drug I have access to is ferrous sulfate but I don't think that can do much damage.

It feels like my methods are very limited. It's frustrating. Everything just gets worst everyday. I'm just delaying the inevitable. I've been writing up my sucide notes and trying to organise a will.

I did want to finish and publish my book before I went, that was the only thing on my bucket list but it's taking to long and I feek like i'm rushing it to get it over and done with.

My best friend killed themself but I don't know his method. I'm rather envious he did it on first try.

I need to do this one thing for me, i'm tired of living for other people. I try to tell people my pain and my thoughts but either they dont belive me or won't listen.

I'm just drowning in grief and trauma.

I just needed somewhere to vent. I'm tired of hurting this much. People may be sad about my death but people move on. No one talks about my best friends death now and it's been 6 months since.

 

[Sensei]

I'm sad to see that you're in such pain. Have you tried seeing a councellor or psychologist? They are used to people venting and talking with them about anything. If you can blow off some steam it will most probably be easier for you to cope. If you haven't tried this yet I think you should do so before you decide to end your life.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I'm sad to see that you're in such pain. Have you tried seeing a councellor or psychologist? They are used to people venting and talking with them about anything. If you can blow off some steam it will most probably be easier for you to cope. If you haven't tried this yet I think you should do so before you decide to end your life.

Yes I see a therapist once a week. She is really good but I just feel like i'm prolonging the inevitable. It's getting harder, not easier without my bestfriend and I want to Join him. Everyone says I have a lot of live for because i'm 19 but I don't see any reason.

 

[Sensei]

Yes I see a therapist once a week. She is really good...

That's good. Far from everyone gets a good therapist. You write that you need somewhere to vent, though. Do you feel inhibited when you meet your therapist?

... but I just feel like i'm prolonging the inevitable. It's getting harder, not easier without my bestfriend and I want to Join him. Everyone says I have a lot of live for because i'm 19 but I don't see any reason.

At your age, things can change very quickly. Your situation and outlook may be very different one or two years from now. I don't know your whole situation, but I think it would be a mistake to end your life without having given it a real chance first. Keep on fighting and be patient is my advice.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

This is how I feel everyday. Like there's no escape.

I just feel like i'm prolonging the inevitable

I feel the same.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

That's good. Far from everyone gets a good therapist. You write that you need somewhere to vent, though. Do you feel inhibited when you meet your therapist?



At your age, things can change very quickly. Your situation and outlook may be very different one or two years from now. I don't know your whole situation, but I think it would be a mistake to end your life without having given it a real chance first. Keep on fighting and be patient is my advice.

I don't think it's a mistake to end my life. It will be better for everyone. Everyone I care about just goes, I don't have a supportive family. I'm dealing with trauma and grief and shit just keeps pilling up. I don't see a way out.

 

[Largeletters]

I'm sorry for everything you're going through. The limited methods thing, I completely get, as it's always kind of been that way. No one close to me owns any guns or other dangerous weapons known to CTB, no dangerous medications, no hardcore drugs.

 

[Sensei]

I don't think it's a mistake to end my life. It will be better for everyone. Everyone I care about just goes, I don't have a supportive family. I'm dealing with trauma and grief and shit just keeps pilling up. I don't see a way out.

I feel for you. Unless people around you are out-and-out psychopaths, I can assure you that they won't be thinking that they're better off if you ide. I'm sorry that you don't have a supportive family. In which ways do you feel that they fail to support you? I'm sure you don't see a way out right now, but can you be 100 % certain that there won't find one a year or two from now?

 

[selfhater]

i'm sorry for ur pain i feel u and i can relate so much:( i don't have supportive family too and i don't have any way out or any method it's so scary to be stuck

 

[Proto]

if you live in the Netherlands Belgium or Germany at least you can ask your psychiatrist for euthanasia ....

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

I understand. I'm pretty much stuck too. I scratch at myself all the time trying to tear my skin off and free my consciousness from this hell. I'm here if you ever want to talk. Disappearing is a dream that might never come true for me. None of my friends or family understand how trapped I feel. I am so sorry you are going through something similar. My thoughts are with you

 

[BadRNG]

I'm just stuck and can't find a way of dying. My parents have locked up all drugs so I can't access them. I am unable to go to a shop and buy more drugs due to being autistic. I don't own a rope either but I've been looking at using a tie. The only drug I have access to is ferrous sulfate but I don't think that can do much damage.

It feels like my methods are very limited. It's frustrating. Everything just gets worst everyday. I'm just delaying the inevitable. I've been writing up my sucide notes and trying to organise a will.

I did want to finish and publish my book before I went, that was the only thing on my bucket list but it's taking to long and I feek like i'm rushing it to get it over and done with.

My best friend killed themself but I don't know his method. I'm rather envious he did it on first try.

I need to do this one thing for me, i'm tired of living for other people. I try to tell people my pain and my thoughts but either they dont belive me or won't listen.

I'm just drowning in grief and trauma.

I just needed somewhere to vent. I'm tired of hurting this much. People may be sad about my death but people move on. No one talks about my best friends death now and it's been 6 months since.

Assisted suicide should be legal exactly because cases like this exist, and you are right ppl forget, pretty quickly actually ..

if you live in the Netherlands Belgium or Germany at least you can ask your psychiatrist for euthanasia ....

Wait you can do that in Germany???

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I feel for you. Unless people around you are out-and-out psychopaths, I can assure you that they won't be thinking that they're better off if you ide. I'm sorry that you don't have a supportive family. In which ways do you feel that they fail to support you? I'm sure you don't see a way out right now, but can you be 100 % certain that there won't find one a year or two from now?

Sorry only just saw this. My family is the reason for my trauma and this is the reason I cannot go to them. They do not udnerstand mental health or autism and call me selfish for experiancing them.
I don't see my life improving at all. Since August when my friend killed himself, every week it's just more hell put on top of more hell. It's never ending. I feel sorry for everyone around me, I'm a burden to everyone and they can be free from me. No one can be 100 percent sure if next year or the year after will be better.

Assisted suicide should be legal exactly because cases like this exist, and you are right ppl forget, pretty quickly actually ..

Wait you can do that in Germany???

I know it's so cool to think you can be given lethal stuff in Germany. If I could I would go there.

I wish assisted suicide was legal, I would take the oppitunity in an instant

That's good. Far from everyone gets a good therapist. You write that you need somewhere to vent, though. Do you feel inhibited when you meet your therapist?



At your age, things can change very quickly. Your situation and outlook may be very different one or two years from now. I don't know your whole situation, but I think it would be a mistake to end your life without having given it a real chance first. Keep on fighting and be patient is my advice.

Yeah I feel relaxed and able to talk to my therapist about things, I just can't mention suicide as I can't afford to be sectioned becauae of my family.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

I'm with @Sensei on this.

I have autism, too, and a bunch of other psychiatric and physiological problems.

You need to survive your 20s. You do whatever the fuck you want on your 30th birthday, but I can almost guarantee you will be some random, happy, normal person in the 2030s.

I made it through my 20s. You can too.