Venting Struggling to find distractions

[Lara Francis]

I feel so anxious 24 / 7 and find my mind will not settle.It is in a constant state of tourment reminding me to the fact that i would ctb if there were delays which there is!
I am unsure what to do but know it cannot go on like thisxThe diazapam and sleeping tabs are doing nothing.
I am going crazy and must be on the verge of a breakdown for sure.
I am so confused right now.
Nothing matters,i just went on a spending spree and am eating a whole range of shit.
My avatar is my chosen coffin but in purple and the time to climb into it may soon be here.
I feel there are now two options with nothing inbetween,
Admit myself onto a psych ward which will not be a problem as my shrink said they have to admit me if i turn up or just die and make sure i do it properly.
Please help me !
I know encouragement is not allowed but i think i have lost the will and capability to think for myself.
I appreaciate you all.x

 

[SinisterKid]

I have just dragged myself, kicking and screaming, from the darkest depths I have ever had the displeasure to visit. 2 weekends ago, it was touch and go whether I would still be here or not. I was in the same spot you are in now. Either get on with living or get on with dying. I probably have cancer, they just stopped my PIP and I should be losing it. But I'm not. I feel calmer than I have for a long time. Certain pressures have been released. Testicular cancer is very treatable, money is the least of my worries and I am starting to feel like I need to get on with living.

WTF would I be telling you al this? Because if I can crawl out of that hole, so can you. I did not think I would make it, but here I am. I still have what I need to make it happen if I so wish and that gives me some control again.

I know its shit what they are putting you through right now. But you can come through this. I know we cant live our own lives through our children, but they are innocent in all this and they need us. My little one needs her one and only grandad, so that right now is my sole reason for existing.

 

[Lara Francis]

I have just dragged myself, kicking and screaming, from the darkest depths I have ever had the displeasure to visit. 2 weekends ago, it was touch and go whether I would still be here or not. I was in the same spot you are in now. Either get on with living or get on with dying. I probably have cancer, they just stopped my PIP and I should be losing it. But I'm not. I feel calmer than I have for a long time. Certain pressures have been released. Testicular cancer is very treatable, money is the least of my worries and I am starting to feel like I need to get on with living.

WTF would I be telling you al this? Because if I can crawl out of that hole, so can you. I did not think I would make it, but here I am. I still have what I need to make it happen if I so wish and that gives me some control again.

I know its shit what they are putting you through right now. But you can come through this. I know we cant live our own lives through our children, but they are innocent in all this and they need us. My little one needs her one and only grandad, so that right now is my sole reason for existing.

You r right @SinisterKid - I am sorry to hear about your cancer and i wish u a full recovery.
Hugs x

 

[The Mute Viking]

I feel this. I barely do anything but sit in my chair all day, I'm sure it's killing my body.
I don't game really and I'm becoming more and more anxious as distractions become a thing of the past.

The internal struggle continues on with the raging winds.

I hope you find peace, I hear droogs help. I do them often when I can.

 

[Pistolero114]

"I need some distraction; beautiful release....Sarah McLaughlin, Arms Of The Angels.

 

[BipolarExpat]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/calling-all-youtube-addicts.17194/

^ Hope it helps.

Many of us are there or have been there with you Lara.