Help Struggling to decide

[doublecupj]

Long story short, I'm 29, I'm in tons of debt because I took out several loans that I cannot repay. I owe family members money. I have a job and hate it, but can't leave for those reasons. I just dont enjoy day to day life at all and I'm in a constant state of distress and worry.

But on the other hand, my Dad really loves me. My younger sisters seem to care for me a lot. And I can't bring myself to hurt them by ctb. So I'm either risking my own financial ruin if I get taken to court or one unforseen issue happens (car problem, losing job)......or I'm getting out of the game I don't enjoy at the expense of people who love me.

What is my moral obligation here? I'm stuck.

 

[voc_89]

idk if you may be able to get the debt consolidated into one single loan. The interest rate would be high but it would feel more manageable to have one big loan than several smaller loans to pay off. Another thing you could consider is downsizing. Selling the car or whatever (maybe unneccessary) assets that were acquired with the debt. Using most to pay off one or more loans. And taking the rest to regain at least a cheaper vehicle (that gets the job done). U also have to realise that going forward your lifestyle choices (what you eat, wear, etc.) would have to be on the cheaper side. Basically, the next 3 - 6 years should be about making sure u are as debt free as possible at the age of 35. Given the way the world is going, by then basically everywhere will have the default retirement age at 65. This would then leave you 30 years of income to make up for lost time. Its not the best of feelings but if you make sacrifices then you can more than get back on your feet. You can also talk to your family members about forgiving the debt or holding on till things are better for you. Most should understand. I wish you the best of luck. The next few years will suck but with the right effort you can do it. Also, no one I know loves their job or most of their co-workers. Its a facade pushed out to us by shill media. Get paid, focus on you and the avenues that you can use to elevate yourself within or outside your workplace.

 

[Holu]

As of right now I'm tethered to this godforsaken planet by my mother. I cant and won't put her through my escape. It's to the point where for me to be free I know I'll have to kill her. I've thought about it, about how I would do it, and still do. But, that is something I simply can't do. So I'm stuck, wondering if I suffer for her. Personally, I don't think I'm strong enough to be the martyr. Inevitably I'll succumb, and stop fighting the pain. I'll likely leave her broken and I know that. No amount of separation or time will ease her pain. So then what? Well, honestly idk. I don't feel I can be helped. Maybe u feel like u can. Maybe part of me is truly fighting which is why I'm alive. The most I can do I just wait and see. But for her sake I'll hang on, just this bit longer.

 

[Valky]

I believe in you, together with your family you will find a solution. If you are not certain about wanting to ctb, then don't

 

[Holu]

I believe in you, together with your family you will find a solution. If you are not certain about wanting to ctb, then don't

Big facts

 

[FuneralCry]

That really does sound like a tiring situation to be trapped in and of course it's very much understandable wishing to be free from it all, as existing really can be so awful. But anyway I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

 

[juxtajuno]

if you're unsure or you think you can find a solution to your problems that doesn't involve ctb, i would try that first. you don't exactly have a moral obligation because morality is entirely subjective, but if you really want to stay for your family then i guess that's reason enough. do what's best for you. best wishes xoxo

 

[SVEN]

If your situation was suddenly fixed,would you still want to CTB ? If you'd choose to still fight on if that was the position, then are you sure that you are ready to take such a permanent step ? Only you can answer that one. The only suggestion I can make is that you must do what is best for you, in yourself, in the end none of us can live a desolate life for others, that's just being an actor.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Have you had any financial advice on your debts? It must be a very common problem and it's a massive strain on so many people. I'm sure there must be services out there that provide advice and assistance. I'd imagine there must be some places that do it for free. I would think even your bank might be able to help- or- really- any of the companies you have the loans with. Maybe ask them what happens if you find yourself in a situation where you can't pay. I don't know- maybe there are ways to extend things and reduce the amount? I don't know- maybe work out what your options would be in the very worse case scenario- so- at least you'd feel prepared- rather than worrying about what might happen.

Really- it's got to be up to you at the end of the day. Do your family know about how much you're struggling with it all? They do sound like they would want to support you.

I do know how you feel though- feeling obliged to stay here. I'm hanging on for my Dad. My financial situation isn't quite as severe but it certainly isn't good. I know I'm going to need to find more work to supplement my creative job- which I know I'm going to hate. I'm so sorry- I know how shitty it all is. It just feels like desperatey trying to tread water when all you want to do is let go and drown.

 

[pastelfluevogs]

Long story short, I'm 29, I'm in tons of debt because I took out several loans that I cannot repay. I owe family members money. I have a job and hate it, but can't leave for those reasons. I just dont enjoy day to day life at all and I'm in a constant state of distress and worry.

But on the other hand, my Dad really loves me. My younger sisters seem to care for me a lot. And I can't bring myself to hurt them by ctb. So I'm either risking my own financial ruin if I get taken to court or one unforseen issue happens (car problem, losing job)......or I'm getting out of the game I don't enjoy at the expense of people who love me.

What is my moral obligation here? I'm stuck.

If the loans disappeared would you still feel like you want to CTB? If it's just the loans and you are unsure, id suggest not doing it. Being in debt isn't fun, but you obviously have people that care about you. Maybe bring up how the loans are affecting you and talk to your family, (sisters if they are old enough). You can pull through. Talk to me if you need. Much love,

pastel

 

[MrShino]

I believe your moral obligation is to stay for as long as you are able. When you are over that threshold, and you are no longer able, you are free to go.

 

[my-end]

Long story short, I'm 29, I'm in tons of debt because I took out several loans that I cannot repay. I owe family members money. I have a job and hate it, but can't leave for those reasons. I just dont enjoy day to day life at all and I'm in a constant state of distress and worry.

But on the other hand, my Dad really loves me. My younger sisters seem to care for me a lot. And I can't bring myself to hurt them by ctb. So I'm either risking my own financial ruin if I get taken to court or one unforseen issue happens (car problem, losing job)......or I'm getting out of the game I don't enjoy at the expense of people who love me.

What is my moral obligation here? I'm stuck.

File for bankruptcy