BeforeYouFallAsleep

BeforeYouFallAsleep

a corpse is talking
Oct 11, 2023
53
I started uni this year as a recovery after my isolation for two years. The last few months were on a constant decline with my mental and keeping up in uni became so hard.
The thing is we only have one subject and one project for 2/3 months and this time I'm in a two-man group. I've grouped with him since the first module/semester and we get along pretty well. He is really talented and basically already knows everything and just wants the bachelor's degree so that he can apply to studios more easily.
This time no one really wanted to group up with him cause of the high standard and quality he already has except for me I guess. And we are studying Game Art/3D Animation.

It is a lot of self-planning and we only have to show up to uni maybe once/twice a week. To get there it's about 3h round trip so I'll try to work from home as much as I can.
I am missing soft deadlines where I should be done with e.g. modeling and feel so bad that he is kind of handicapped with me in his group because all of our assets go on a diorama together and we get graded as a group. I really want to do something and finish my shit for my and his sake. It's just every time I try to do something for uni there is this invisible force that holds me back and I can't even bring myself to start at all. For every day that I do nothing it just gets worse. I hate myself so much that I fuck him over too.

I already voiced my thoughts to him, that I'm not too well mentally and struggling to keep up. He was very sweet and understanding about it <3
He said that he was very glad that we were in a group together and that I should focus on my stuff over the shared one.
Still, I feel like he deserved a better partner and hate that yet another person that I like is affected by my bullshit

The final deadline is the 24 and I still have so much to do. If I fail I really don't know what I would do. It was already such a struggle to find something that interested me even a little bit
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: milquetoast, Celerity, Praestat_Mori and 2 others
mertvets

mertvets

if only
Nov 6, 2023
23
happy to hear that you've started uni, sad to hear that you're struggling with keeping up.

i feel like your project partner is genuine about it not being a big deal that you're in a bad spot. from what i'm understanding, you both are working separately, from your own homes. may i suggest you to try meeting up? perhaps that could give you a better chance at starting...

about failing... do you mean dropping out or failing on this specific project?


viel glück.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
BeforeYouFallAsleep

BeforeYouFallAsleep

a corpse is talking
Oct 11, 2023
53
happy to hear that you've started uni, sad to hear that you're struggling with keeping up.

i feel like your project partner is genuine about it not being a big deal that you're in a bad spot. from what i'm understanding, you both are working separately, from your own homes. may i suggest you to try meeting up? perhaps that could give you a better chance at starting...

about failing... do you mean dropping out or failing on this specific project?


viel glück.
we've met up a few times at uni but the main problem is the time to get there. We both live on the outskirts and it takes about 1,5h only to get there and then again back home. For me, I find it hard to commit that time just to feel not really comfortable at uni with so many people around. I am more productive tho..

And we don't have multiple subjects it's just one assignment/goal that we have to reach in each module. It is only practical and has no theory which is pleasant but it also means that you have to deliver.
So if I fail this project/module I drop out and it's gg
They give you a second chance if you don't make it and you can always retry the semester but I would hate to start again in terms of the social aspect.
It was a miracle that I managed to find friends this quickly and I can't imagine losing them again

und danke dir <3
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
mertvets

mertvets

if only
Nov 6, 2023
23
if it's difficult to meet in person, how about online? maybe discord? just having more contact to your project partner could help i believe... i'm certain you can make it, even if it takes a 2nd try, it being an interest of yours and all. escaping isolation is already a great positive.

du machst das <3
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Praestat_Mori and BeforeYouFallAsleep
D

dyingslowly

Member
Jul 17, 2023
88
I started uni this year as a recovery after my isolation for two years. The last few months were on a constant decline with my mental and keeping up in uni became so hard.
The thing is we only have one subject and one project for 2/3 months and this time I'm in a two-man group. I've grouped with him since the first module/semester and we get along pretty well. He is really talented and basically already knows everything and just wants the bachelor's degree so that he can apply to studios more easily.
This time no one really wanted to group up with him cause of the high standard and quality he already has except for me I guess. And we are studying Game Art/3D Animation.

It is a lot of self-planning and we only have to show up to uni maybe once/twice a week. To get there it's about 3h round trip so I'll try to work from home as much as I can.
I am missing soft deadlines where I should be done with e.g. modeling and feel so bad that he is kind of handicapped with me in his group because all of our assets go on a diorama together and we get graded as a group. I really want to do something and finish my shit for my and his sake. It's just every time I try to do something for uni there is this invisible force that holds me back and I can't even bring myself to start at all. For every day that I do nothing it just gets worse. I hate myself so much that I fuck him over too.

I already voiced my thoughts to him, that I'm not too well mentally and struggling to keep up. He was very sweet and understanding about it <3
He said that he was very glad that we were in a group together and that I should focus on my stuff over the shared one.
Still, I feel like he deserved a better partner and hate that yet another person that I like is affected by my bullshit

The final deadline is the 24 and I still have so much to do. If I fail I really don't know what I would do. It was already such a struggle to find something that interested me even a little bit

I can understand, but u r lucky to have someone helpful, for me that wasn't the case, I had chronic depression but still dragged four more people with me, who literally didn't gave a shit about me. Just ask him if he can guide u as well along the way online and if he agrees then u can slowly start to contribute in group projects.
I started uni this year as a recovery after my isolation for two years. The last few months were on a constant decline with my mental and keeping up in uni became so hard.
The thing is we only have one subject and one project for 2/3 months and this time I'm in a two-man group. I've grouped with him since the first module/semester and we get along pretty well. He is really talented and basically already knows everything and just wants the bachelor's degree so that he can apply to studios more easily.
This time no one really wanted to group up with him cause of the high standard and quality he already has except for me I guess. And we are studying Game Art/3D Animation.

It is a lot of self-planning and we only have to show up to uni maybe once/twice a week. To get there it's about 3h round trip so I'll try to work from home as much as I can.
I am missing soft deadlines where I should be done with e.g. modeling and feel so bad that he is kind of handicapped with me in his group because all of our assets go on a diorama together and we get graded as a group. I really want to do something and finish my shit for my and his sake. It's just every time I try to do something for uni there is this invisible force that holds me back and I can't even bring myself to start at all. For every day that I do nothing it just gets worse. I hate myself so much that I fuck him over too.

I already voiced my thoughts to him, that I'm not too well mentally and struggling to keep up. He was very sweet and understanding about it <3
He said that he was very glad that we were in a group together and that I should focus on my stuff over the shared one.
Still, I feel like he deserved a better partner and hate that yet another person that I like is affected by my bullshit

The final deadline is the 24 and I still have so much to do. If I fail I really don't know what I would do. It was already such a struggle to find something that interested me even a little bit

Don't worry to much and try to learn as much as u can.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: BeforeYouFallAsleep and mertvets
BeforeYouFallAsleep

BeforeYouFallAsleep

a corpse is talking
Oct 11, 2023
53
I can understand, but u r lucky to have someone helpful, for me that wasn't the case, I had chronic depression but still dragged four more people with me, who literally didn't gave a shit about me. Just ask him if he can guide u as well along the way online and if he agrees then u can slowly start to contribute in group projects.


Don't worry to much and try to learn as much as u can.
Thank youu <3
 

Similar threads

Cyber4ngel!
Replies
2
Views
259
Suicide Discussion
Cyber4ngel!
Cyber4ngel!
theolivanderroach
Replies
4
Views
329
Suicide Discussion
been__ready
B
JustaDreamer
Replies
2
Views
114
Suicide Discussion
Praestat_Mori
P