Venting Struggling all my life and alone again.

[TotallyTerrible]

Five years, five years in a LDR with who I thought was my soulmate. Poof. I have nothing still have nothing she was my reason to get up in the morning she was my reason to breathe she was my reason to eat to move to think and it's all just gone now. It was already an uphill battle but now? what do I even do with myself? what CAN I do? nothing. just nothing
I have no friends no job no future and the other piece of my soul is now gone...

 

[LaVieEnRose]

What happened? If you want to share.

 

[TotallyTerrible]

What happened? If you want to share.

In the end it's all my fault. Over the years we had more than one rough spots spurred on solely by my insecurity.I would also flirt with randoms for validation. Not to mention I'm about as boring as a rock and constantly depressed and or anxious.Just with me it's constant self-sabotage and issues. Basically it's a miracle I got to spend that time with her at all. Guess that's a silver lining lol.

 

[froggyboya]

hi did you want to talk?

 

[TotallyTerrible]

hi did you want to talk?

Yes please

 

[froggyboya]

Yes please

are you able to message me?

 

[TotallyTerrible]

are you able to message me?

I don't think so

 

[froggyboya]

I don't think so

aw i guess you can't because you're a new member :( what's on your mind rn?

 

[TotallyTerrible]

aw i guess you can't because you're a new member :( what's on your mind rn?

Mostly how much of a fuckup I am.

 

[froggyboya]

Mostly how much of a fuckup I am.

why do you think you're a fuckup?

 

[TotallyTerrible]

why do you think you're a fuckup?

I mean I'd have to go over my entire life story. It's just a mundane disaster leading to the person I am today, which is not much of a person at all.. Everytime I have the opportunity to make the right decision, I don't... and that's my entire life. Down to everything I did today even... Just made it all worse, like I always do

 

[froggyboya]

I mean I'd have to go over my entire life story. It's just a mundane disaster leading to the person I am today, which is not much of a person at all.. Everytime I have the opportunity to make the right decision, I don't... and that's my entire life. Down to everything I did today even... Just made it all worse, like I always do

im sorry you feel that way. even small decisions can mess up your life in some way but i guess that's life. i'd love to lend an ear if you want to vent more, just let me know when you get direct message access

 

[TotallyTerrible]

im sorry you feel that way. even small decisions can mess up your life in some way but i guess that's life. i'd love to lend an ear if you want to vent more, just let me know when you get direct message access

Sure