S
searchingforpeace
Student
- Nov 26, 2022
- 130
I have something called functional neurological disorder. I've had it for 10 years. Out of trouble walking motor control yesterday I was shaking so hard that I ended up urinating on myself when I tried to go to the bathroom even sitting down and I'm a guy. I've gone poop on myself before. Very hard to avoid. I feel demoralized and defeated. Like like this forever but I'm conflicted I have a girlfriend that's very nice that I've been seeing for two months and she really cares but there's no answers. I'm going to try to go to transcranial magnetic stimulation but I guess I'm going to try to go in a wheelchair cause but I'm worried about the bathroom.. I'll try to wear depends. I can't believe this is my life I don't know what to do. I have sodium Nitrite And I could end it but I'm so afraid I wanted to live without this disability but I just don't know what to do. I Have been to Endless doctors and nobody has any answers. Like I have no choice if this is the way it's going to be. Yesterday was so afraid I was going to have to go to the ER because I was an unbelievable pain but I knew that they wouldn't give a **** if I went and I would just be for nothing so I guess I have no choice but to die. I say that because I went to the ER countless times and they never did anything to help no one knows how to help I guess but I can't live like this forever