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Zzzzz

Zzzzz

Nothing compares to the bliss of death.
Aug 8, 2018
879
Well. I was homeless about to ctb. I did not ask for help but I did give my family an fyi I will be dying soon. That got their attention and they of course immediately said I should take a plane and go live with certain relatives, with the requirement that I will do everything necessary to earn disability income.I thought about it. I asked myself if I really wanted to keep going. To try for literally the 7th time to rebuild from homelessness. Against my more logical judgement, I agreed. But,as usual for me,hope is deceptive. It made my future appear enticing,but here I am again with no will to recover. Medication isn't helping at all. All treatments have failed. I honestly do not believe I will ever be happy or even content. I consider my life a torture and my body a prison of pain. Now again I'm at risk of homelessness. I'm sure my relatives will abandon me when they realize there will be no disability money coming in. The only demand I ever asked is to let me die in peace, In a not utterly excruciating way, in which there are a few ways, just suicide is prohibited.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
44,991
I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, it must be so unbearable being in that situation. This life really is so awful and unfair, people should be able to pass away peacefully when the time is right for them. It is cruel trying to force people to live such low quality lives. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do, and I hope you find relief from your pain.
 
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Reactions: Zzzzz
Zzzzz

Zzzzz

Nothing compares to the bliss of death.
Aug 8, 2018
879
I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, it must be so unbearable being in that situation. This life really is so awful and unfair, people should be able to pass away peacefully when the time is right for them. It is cruel trying to force people to live such low quality lives. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do, and I hope you find relief from your pain.

Thank you. I consider my life a tragedy. I will consider myself incredibly fortunate if I die in the near future. SI ,fear of rescucitation and excessive pain prevent me from ctb. Every day I experience psychological pain that feels like torture.
 

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