GentleJerk
Carrot juice pimp.
- Dec 14, 2021
- 1,374
Here's a few minutes of reading for your entertainment. True story. I have nothing better to do right now and thought I'd share.
So, I've always been that guy who turns people on. I don't mean in a sexual way, I mean like in a The Beatles kind of way... Turn on, tune in, drop out.
That's something one of my teachers always used to say, but she always chose not to say the "drop out" part. I would hear her say it while handing out assignments and trying to spark interest in schoolwork, as we all quietly fucked around under the desks, swapping Magic the Gathering, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh cards, Beyblades, or whatever else was the business at the time.
I called out in the middle of class one day, and told her "Miss, you know that's a Timothy Leary quote about dropping acid, right? It's turn on, tune in, drop out..." And she would give me a STFU-stare and put her finger to her mouth in a shooshing gesture, like Harpocrates. Yeah, she knew...
Anyway, fast forward a few years, and I'm selling weed in the northern suburbs for my old boss, while living in a house full of Juggalos. Although a little rowdy for my particular liking, the Juggalos were mostly good people. They gave me my own room and everything. I noticed a few of them liked smoking crack. 'Crack' is what we call crystal meth here, as there is no actual crack-cocaine. Smoking crack definitely isn't typical for Juggalos, but meth is simply a big problem in Australia, and sadly, I swear 50% of the population is on it.
So, one thing I've noticed over the years; Psychedelic drugs can be very beneficial for helping people who are hooked on drugs of dependence, such as alcohol and meth. A long time ago before prohibition, LSD and mushrooms were used in the clinics to rehabilitate heroin users and alcoholics, and the psychedelic therapies enjoyed a much, MUCH higher rate of success than all the current methods.
Indeed, some long-term addicts recovered completely after a single dose! Such as in the case of that Arthur Kleps guy- you know, the one who went on to create the Neo American Boo Hoo Church, and petitioned the supreme court to make it an official religion, with that song Row, Row, Row Your Boat as their prayer? Oh, you didn't know that? Kleps was a hopeless alcoholic, whose "friends" spiked his morning scotch with an unknown quantity of liquid LSD, causing him to have a profound life changing experience. Klep's gave up drinking after claiming to have met God during that experience. His "friends" didn't believe him though, "...nah, no way maaaan, you didn't have the big one..." they would taunt, possibly out of jealousy...
ANYWAY. I'm in this house full of Juggalos, and I whip out a sheet of this fancy blotter that I picked up from some obscure source during my wanderings. It was black and white, it had a chess board design on it, with an occult anthropomorphic sun and moon above, and a masonic looking room with various objects including a five pointed star, and two stone pillars below. Whatever the art on the blotter, these were some decent tabs. At least 200ug.
I was determined to turn on a few of these clowns, it was some sort of unspoken, deeply personal directive that was encouraging me to provide an awakening of some kind to various people who may greatly benefit from it. Outwardly, this seemed like just another day of thrillseekers getting their kicks. Everybody's bored, and- wait a minute, whats this? Someone's got the tickets. Weeeew! That looks like it could be fun. Yeah, I see you sucking on that glass barbie, thrillseeker. $500 dollars worth of meth is nothing compared to the experience you can have from $2 worth of this California sunshine acid. And I'm handing these babies out for free tonight- so, I wonder, who's up for it?
I see heads turning, and I hear the fear and wonder in their voices, as what could almost qualify as an intelligent discussion commenced among them. I always find it funny how some people who smash alcohol and smoke meth like it's nothing, get all cautious and timid when the psychedelics are in the room. It's like something inside them knows that these drugs are different, powerful, and might have great significance... In a drunken, crispy fried world where nothing matters, meaning can prove to be a technical difficulty. But one of the young ninjas went about reassuring everyone, explaining that he had tried acid before, and it was well worthwhile.
There was some noticeable apprehension. After all, this was something unfamiliar- but I instinctively know when I'm talking to people who won't pass up the offer of free drugs.
Free lemonade!
...But beneath the atmosphere of mindlessly indulging in drugs for fun, there was a certain unspoken goal that I was setting out to accomplish. I don't hand out powerful psychoactive substances to people willy-nilly just for laughs. I've done this before. Indeed, I'm prepared for this moment, as much as is possible, and there are certain rituals that I perform when setting up the environment for people to enjoy these sorts of experiences. But of course, they didn't know about any of that.
Aaaanyway, they all placed the tiny little pieces of paper beneath their tongues, and for the first time since I met them, they seemed eager to listen, and wanted to take cues from me. Advice, about what to expect, what to do, anxiously awaiting whatever happens next. Not wanting to play the role of some sort of acid guru, or generate concern by elucidating orders and commands, telling people what to do and what not to do, I simply reassured them. Everything was going to be okay. No matter what happens, or what feelings may arise, it's all in the mind and no harm would come to them from the acid. In 12 hours time, everything will be completely back to normal. What to expect? You'll see.
We were all in a large entertainment room full of bean bags and tables. Graffiti was all over the walls. I knew that I had about 2 hours max after dropping the acid, before the effects would be in full onset. I spent this time cleaning the room up, by throwing away all the empty cans and rubbish, and hanging up some fluoro artwork painted on sorrongs that I had collected- mainly buddhist and hindu art. I quietly set up my little portable speaker system in the corner, and inserted a cd called Tantrance 3.
ANYWAYYYYY... After about two hours, that funny sensation started creeping on, the atmosphere in the room completely changed. A giant smile slowly spread across my face, and I started feeling weird, a lot more liquid than a bag of solid meat and bones should feel. The room started getting quieter, and conversations bubbled away to silence, as the LSD began to take hold. There was pointless giggling going on all around. Eyes started twinkling, almost like starlight. With perfect timing, I lit an incense stick, walked around the room with it a certain amount of times, and then pressed play on the stereo. I turned all the lights off, lit a few candles, and plugged in a black light. Muahahaha. It is time... I've got you now.
...To be continued.
So, I've always been that guy who turns people on. I don't mean in a sexual way, I mean like in a The Beatles kind of way... Turn on, tune in, drop out.
That's something one of my teachers always used to say, but she always chose not to say the "drop out" part. I would hear her say it while handing out assignments and trying to spark interest in schoolwork, as we all quietly fucked around under the desks, swapping Magic the Gathering, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh cards, Beyblades, or whatever else was the business at the time.
I called out in the middle of class one day, and told her "Miss, you know that's a Timothy Leary quote about dropping acid, right? It's turn on, tune in, drop out..." And she would give me a STFU-stare and put her finger to her mouth in a shooshing gesture, like Harpocrates. Yeah, she knew...
Anyway, fast forward a few years, and I'm selling weed in the northern suburbs for my old boss, while living in a house full of Juggalos. Although a little rowdy for my particular liking, the Juggalos were mostly good people. They gave me my own room and everything. I noticed a few of them liked smoking crack. 'Crack' is what we call crystal meth here, as there is no actual crack-cocaine. Smoking crack definitely isn't typical for Juggalos, but meth is simply a big problem in Australia, and sadly, I swear 50% of the population is on it.
So, one thing I've noticed over the years; Psychedelic drugs can be very beneficial for helping people who are hooked on drugs of dependence, such as alcohol and meth. A long time ago before prohibition, LSD and mushrooms were used in the clinics to rehabilitate heroin users and alcoholics, and the psychedelic therapies enjoyed a much, MUCH higher rate of success than all the current methods.
Indeed, some long-term addicts recovered completely after a single dose! Such as in the case of that Arthur Kleps guy- you know, the one who went on to create the Neo American Boo Hoo Church, and petitioned the supreme court to make it an official religion, with that song Row, Row, Row Your Boat as their prayer? Oh, you didn't know that? Kleps was a hopeless alcoholic, whose "friends" spiked his morning scotch with an unknown quantity of liquid LSD, causing him to have a profound life changing experience. Klep's gave up drinking after claiming to have met God during that experience. His "friends" didn't believe him though, "...nah, no way maaaan, you didn't have the big one..." they would taunt, possibly out of jealousy...
ANYWAY. I'm in this house full of Juggalos, and I whip out a sheet of this fancy blotter that I picked up from some obscure source during my wanderings. It was black and white, it had a chess board design on it, with an occult anthropomorphic sun and moon above, and a masonic looking room with various objects including a five pointed star, and two stone pillars below. Whatever the art on the blotter, these were some decent tabs. At least 200ug.
I was determined to turn on a few of these clowns, it was some sort of unspoken, deeply personal directive that was encouraging me to provide an awakening of some kind to various people who may greatly benefit from it. Outwardly, this seemed like just another day of thrillseekers getting their kicks. Everybody's bored, and- wait a minute, whats this? Someone's got the tickets. Weeeew! That looks like it could be fun. Yeah, I see you sucking on that glass barbie, thrillseeker. $500 dollars worth of meth is nothing compared to the experience you can have from $2 worth of this California sunshine acid. And I'm handing these babies out for free tonight- so, I wonder, who's up for it?
I see heads turning, and I hear the fear and wonder in their voices, as what could almost qualify as an intelligent discussion commenced among them. I always find it funny how some people who smash alcohol and smoke meth like it's nothing, get all cautious and timid when the psychedelics are in the room. It's like something inside them knows that these drugs are different, powerful, and might have great significance... In a drunken, crispy fried world where nothing matters, meaning can prove to be a technical difficulty. But one of the young ninjas went about reassuring everyone, explaining that he had tried acid before, and it was well worthwhile.
There was some noticeable apprehension. After all, this was something unfamiliar- but I instinctively know when I'm talking to people who won't pass up the offer of free drugs.
Free lemonade!
...But beneath the atmosphere of mindlessly indulging in drugs for fun, there was a certain unspoken goal that I was setting out to accomplish. I don't hand out powerful psychoactive substances to people willy-nilly just for laughs. I've done this before. Indeed, I'm prepared for this moment, as much as is possible, and there are certain rituals that I perform when setting up the environment for people to enjoy these sorts of experiences. But of course, they didn't know about any of that.
Aaaanyway, they all placed the tiny little pieces of paper beneath their tongues, and for the first time since I met them, they seemed eager to listen, and wanted to take cues from me. Advice, about what to expect, what to do, anxiously awaiting whatever happens next. Not wanting to play the role of some sort of acid guru, or generate concern by elucidating orders and commands, telling people what to do and what not to do, I simply reassured them. Everything was going to be okay. No matter what happens, or what feelings may arise, it's all in the mind and no harm would come to them from the acid. In 12 hours time, everything will be completely back to normal. What to expect? You'll see.
We were all in a large entertainment room full of bean bags and tables. Graffiti was all over the walls. I knew that I had about 2 hours max after dropping the acid, before the effects would be in full onset. I spent this time cleaning the room up, by throwing away all the empty cans and rubbish, and hanging up some fluoro artwork painted on sorrongs that I had collected- mainly buddhist and hindu art. I quietly set up my little portable speaker system in the corner, and inserted a cd called Tantrance 3.
ANYWAYYYYY... After about two hours, that funny sensation started creeping on, the atmosphere in the room completely changed. A giant smile slowly spread across my face, and I started feeling weird, a lot more liquid than a bag of solid meat and bones should feel. The room started getting quieter, and conversations bubbled away to silence, as the LSD began to take hold. There was pointless giggling going on all around. Eyes started twinkling, almost like starlight. With perfect timing, I lit an incense stick, walked around the room with it a certain amount of times, and then pressed play on the stereo. I turned all the lights off, lit a few candles, and plugged in a black light. Muahahaha. It is time... I've got you now.
...To be continued.
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