A

ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,441
Some time ago, not very long ago, I've posted a thread asking about making "nutripaste".
I wasn't quite mocked, but my sanity has been questioned. At least it felt like it. Anyways, I was asked why I insist on paste specifically. I am now with even more pills and it appears that wanting the food to be a paste and not a solid was some sort of prophecy: temporarily I need snacks. Sandwiches are preferred.
I have successfully (kind of. Keep reading lol) produced nutripaste. For this very purpose, I've purchased the fanciest and most affordable fancy blender that also is designed to make smoothies - Ninja Blender. You can bet your asses I will use the smoothie function once I'm off of these new pills. These new pills, you see, react very badly to milk.

Compodulator's nutripaste(tm) v1.0 recipe:
Ingredients: two tomatoes - small/reasonable sized (red, hard, ever so slightly underripe), two cucumbers (larger than Compo's hand), one red pepper (large (shitty translation)), "cognac pastrami" (about 3/4 of the pack), mayo (small-ish jar? Mine was 481g)
Process: cut everything except for the mayo into small, but fair pieces for the Ninja Blender to handle, throw into to the Ninja Blender, struggle with the cap thing for about twenty minutes because the goddamn thing is weird to actually "lock", turn it on, select low mode, blend for about 2-3 minutes.
After you get some sort of weird "smoothie", move the result into a bowl, throw the entire jar of mayo into the bowl, mix, serve.

The resulting... substance... was surprisingly not that bad. No need for salt or anything. In fact, it has the perfect amount of salt to satisfy my absurd loving to salt.
Now here we get to the mistake: I did not drain the liquid before introducing mayo into the previous substance. After consulting my father as to how to make this new substance less liquid, he shook his head and said "why don't you just drain liquid using a pasta drainer, dumbass?" (translated from Russian). I went to a neighbor and borrowed his pasta drainer. The man knows it's a goddamn miracle I survived for 30 years so far, so he gave me his. I've drained the liquid out of the current, pre-drained... substance...
About 5/6's of the substance was liquid. I've lost most of the mayonnaise because I didn't think to drain the liquid before adding the mayo. I'm left with about 200-300g of the very delicious product.

For the first time in months, possibly even years, I'm proud of myself to some extent.

So, what's the point of this whole story?
I ask you, dear readers, to think, dig in yourself, and regardless of age or situation at the time, produce something similar, a story of doing something that left you at least slightly proud of the result of your work.
 
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Hunter100

Hunter100

Lost...
Oct 12, 2019
157
I'm still stuck on a whole jar of mayonnaise :shy:
But congrats nonetheless in your successful endeavor :sunglasses:
 
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WhiteDespair

WhiteDespair

The Temporary Problem is Life
Oct 24, 2019
837
Congrats on your newfound delicious goo.
 
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A

ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,441
I'm still stuck on a whole jar of mayonnaise :shy:
But congrats nonetheless in your successful endeavor :sunglasses:
Nah, after draining the juices it turned into like... maybe half a spoon. That's being extremely generous about it. When my father is going batshit crazy with mayo, the whole thing turns mayo-white, and that's from like two spoons. My product is more... pink-ish... Needs more mayo. lol
 
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Hunter100

Hunter100

Lost...
Oct 12, 2019
157
See mine would be more like
Bananas
Apples
Orange
Strawberrys
Small amount of spinach
Then add in a cup of died oat meal to hold it together.
That would be my "paste" lol
 
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Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

Enlightened
Sep 14, 2019
1,325
I'm sorry but I don't understand. What is the meaning of this post? What is nutripaste and what does is do? I just have no idea what you're talking about.
 
A

ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,441
I'm sorry but I don't understand. What is the meaning of this post? What is nutripaste and what does is do? I just have no idea what you're talking about.

In a game called RimWorld there's a thing you give food to and it spits out the same food, but in paste form and double the buffs. Obviously, that sort of thing isn't going to happen IRL with a blender. I just jokingly call it that because at the time I was basically trying to make a sort of vegetable-based spread to bring to work.
The reason is that I'm having trouble eating a lot in one sitting.
Blending a salad is surprisingly more difficult than it sounds. Lol
See mine would be more like
Bananas
Apples
Orange
Strawberrys
Small amount of spinach
Then add in a cup of died oat meal to hold it together.
That would be my "paste" lol
FUCK!
Add a "condenser" AFTER blending the thing!
I didn't think of that! Fucked up the blender for a bit last time by trying to add bread.
Do not throw bread in a blender even if r/cooking swears it's a good idea.
Bastards turned out to be trolling me.
Mayonnaise has a lot of fat.
Yup, that's part of the reason I'm adding it.
A small part. The bigger part is it being weirdly delicious.
I'm apparently about 15kg underweight.
 
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