still suicidal after electroconvulsive therapy

[angelz08]

I have received 20+ rounds of electroconvulsive therapy for my MDD and for a while it really did help. but in the last week I seem to have relapsed hard and have been having constant suicidal ideation and have thought of a plan with most things worked out. I just can't believe I'm so far gone that even ECT wasn't able to cure me. my inpatient psychiatrist said I'm the youngest person he has ever prescribed it to (I'm 18). i feel so hopeless and done for but it'll be over soon so whatever I guess

 

[whotookmylexapro]

Im sorry that nothing has worked out for you. I feel the same way with my refractory OCD. Ive tried everything from meds, therapy, TMS, and even ketamine injections. The best thing they do is maybe theyll work for a few months, but the thoughts, compulsions, and suicidal ideations come back. I've considered ECT but i figured if nothing else worked, this probably won't either. Ketamine was supposed to be my last ditch effort to save my life and mental but it left me devastated. I hope you can find some sort of peace that shit doesn't always work for everyone

 

[theboy]

Don't worry
I don't know if it's any consolation but there are many teenagers (-18) who have had this therapy

 

[princexhhn]

Well shit i went through the same thing. It helped like, for a bit after it but just back to square one. Raising a glass to both of us, bud. Fuck the mental health system. And fuck this world for failing us.

 

[angelz08]

Im sorry that nothing has worked out for you. I feel the same way with my refractory OCD. Ive tried everything from meds, therapy, TMS, and even ketamine injections. The best thing they do is maybe theyll work for a few months, but the thoughts, compulsions, and suicidal ideations come back. I've considered ECT but i figured if nothing else worked, this probably won't either. Ketamine was supposed to be my last ditch effort to save my life and mental but it left me devastated. I hope you can find some sort of peace that shit doesn't always work for everyone

thanks I appreciate the words greatly and im sorry I know OCD can be a hell of a thing. fwiw, a low dose of abilify was the only thing that somewhat helped with my compulsions (if you haven't tried it). I tried ketamine too and no luck, just got me high and mildly happy for an hour and then back to my depressed self :/

Well shit i went through the same thing. It helped like, for a bit after it but just back to square one. Raising a glass to both of us, bud. Fuck the mental health system. And fuck this world for failing us.

im sorry, relapsing fucking sucks. and amen man

 

[divinemistress36]

It only helped temporarily and I got permanent memory loss from it
.so many events I dont remember from my life

 

[Slark]

I had four sessions of electroconvulsive therapy and didn't see any improvement, so I stopped. I still remember how I felt after the sessions, how red my eyes were. How's your memory? Mine was bad for a while, but it's back to normal. I'm sorry the treatment didn't work for you either; I hope you get well.

 

[angelz08]

It only helped temporarily and I got permanent memory loss from it
.so many events I dont remember from my life

yeah my memory has been pretty shitty too. dont know the full extent of the memory loss cause its something inherently difficult to track (?) but my doctors have agreed that it's been significant. it sucks.

I had four sessions of electroconvulsive therapy and didn't see any improvement, so I stopped. I still remember how I felt after the sessions, how red my eyes were. How's your memory? Mine was bad for a while, but it's back to normal. I'm sorry the treatment didn't work for you either; I hope you get well.

I'm sorry it didn't work for you :( my memory has been pretty shitty according to my family but I myself have found it hard to figure out how bad my memory loss has actually been bc its something inherently hard to track (? if that makes sense). im glad to hear yours is back to normal though. and thank you, I hope you find some relief too.
sorry if my replies are formatted weird lol I haven't been on here for a while

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I understand this. I also received ECT for a very long time (11 months) with no improvement. It's really quite disappointing, considering the way medical professionals talk about it as if it is a silver bullet for depression.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[LighthouseHermit]

Wow! Reading all these horrible stories of ECT is insane. I'm so sorry you had to go through the hope that it might help, and then it didn't help

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I'd did 18 ECT bilateral treatments for MDD. Zero improvement and memory loss around the time of the treatments.
Also did IV ketamine with zero results and 20+med/combos. I'm just fucked with untreatable depression,.that is why i am left with suicide as my only choice. My life is torture everyday.

 

[angelz08]

I'd did 18 ECT bilateral treatments for MDD. Zero improvement and memory loss around the time of the treatments.
Also did IV ketamine with zero results and 20+med/combos. I'm just fucked with untreatable depression,.that is why i am left with suicide as my only choice. My life is torture everyday.

I'm sorry, i hope you find peace in whatever way you choose. I tried ketamine too and it was no help whatsoever.

 

[Ashu]

I have received 20+ rounds of electroconvulsive therapy for my MDD and for a while it really did help. but in the last week I seem to have relapsed hard and have been having constant suicidal ideation and have thought of a plan with most things worked out. I just can't believe I'm so far gone that even ECT wasn't able to cure me. my inpatient psychiatrist said I'm the youngest person he has ever prescribed it to (I'm 18). i feel so hopeless and done for but it'll be over soon so whatever I guess

Fucking criminals, to give you ECT at eighteen years old. But what else to expect from those reptiles.

Don't worry
I don't know if it's any consolation but there are many teenagers (-18) who have had this therapy

Disgusting, outrageous.

It only helped temporarily and I got permanent memory loss from it
.so many events I dont remember from my life

It should be outlawed! What a pseudoscience psychiatry is.

I'd did 18 ECT bilateral treatments for MDD. Zero improvement and memory loss around the time of the treatments.
Also did IV ketamine with zero results and 20+med/combos. I'm just fucked with untreatable depression,.that is why i am left with suicide as my only choice. My life is torture everyday.

(Just incidentally, I'm also an animal lover. Thought I'd just mention it since we see each other around, and we're the same age.)

 

[shampoo sniffer]

My uncle who had schizophrenia had ECT back in the '70s. Didn't help him.

 

[Nightfoot]

I'd did 18 ECT bilateral treatments for MDD. Zero improvement and memory loss around the time of the treatments.
Also did IV ketamine with zero results and 20+med/combos. I'm just fucked with untreatable depression,.that is why i am left with suicide as my only choice. My life is torture everyday.

I noticed on another thread you mentioned Parnate. Have you started it? I would like to try a tricyclic but it seems like not many doctors prescribe it.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I noticed on another thread you mentioned Parnate. Have you started it? I would like to try a tricyclic but it seems like not many doctors prescribe it.

Parnate is an MAOI inhibitor not a tricyclic. I've been on it about a week and unfortunately no change yet. If you haven't had any improvement on an SSRI or SNRI I would think a psychiatrist wouldn't have a problem trying you on a tricyclic.

 

[Nightfoot]

Parnate is an MAOI inhibitor not a tricyclic. I've been on it about a week and unfortunately no change yet. If you haven't had any improvement on an SSRI or SNRI I would think a psychiatrist wouldn't have a problem trying you on a tricyclic.

Yes, my mistake. I've been on just about everything except an MAOI, including SSRIs, SNRIs, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, stimulants and TMS. Seroquel helped for a few months hen pooped out, same with Thorazine. Nothing else has helped.

Parnate is an MAOI inhibitor not a tricyclic. I've been on it about a week and unfortunately no change yet.

I hope it starts working for you.