Still need to go

[Hadenuf]

Still looking for a way to go don't expect to be told how but my plan is to take lorazepam maybe a few drinks and get out in a cold sea any thoughts
I am frightened to go because of the family I leave behind but can't go on as I am my family and friends are so good but my anxiety with tinnitus has taken over me I just c q by take anymore

 

[Katerina]

I've thought about this as I feel you'd have no control over the SI and eventually tire and drown

 

[Hadenuf]

I've thought about this as I feel you'd have no control over the SI and eventually tire and drown

that's
how I thought of it
And I want to do away from home so my family don't find me selfish as someone will

 

[Katerina]

I've wrote a letter to the person who finds me ready just trying to explain why I did it and apologise for any trauma I cause to them that's as much as I can do
People say put your feelings first yet when you think suicide you think selfish we can't win

 

[Hadenuf]

So frightened of leaving them I need to be able to have no control to stop it I go to sleep every night hoping not to wake up I love my family so much but just can't go on like this living in pills

 

[Katerina]

Are you 100% sure it's the only answer

 

[Hadenuf]

Are you 100% sure it's the only answer

99% sure I wake up to to work come home pace up and down to to bed same again next day have not sat down calm for over 6 months
I have one failed attempt I think it was because I was found in time

 

[gingerplum]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/the-story-of-my-failed-drowning-attempt.21991/#post-431309

 

[Katerina]

99% sure I wake up to to work come home pace up and down to to bed same again next day have not sat down calm for over 6 months
I have one failed attempt I think it was because I was found in time

Do you take any medications

 

[sleepy dog]

99% sure I wake up to to work come home pace up and down to to bed same again next day have not sat down calm for over 6 months
I have one failed attempt I think it was because I was found in time

Is the medicine giving you restlessness, unable to relax?

 

[Hadenuf]

Do you take any medications

lorazepam and mirtazapine

Is the medicine giving you restlessness, unable to relax?

Maybe but my tinnitus was started whilst on another AD I went bonkers on them for about 5 days and ended up like this I feel guilty about taking them when I was not sure I needed them

 

[Hadenuf]

Still thinking about my method and will it work has to be winter months to be sure of cold helping

 

[Blackjack]

Still thinking about my method and will it work has to be winter months to be sure of cold helping

What about SN?

 

[Hadenuf]

What about SN?

Don't know how to get it and once I leave home I just can't go back

 

[Blackjack]

Where do you live?

 

[Hadenuf]

Where do you live?

Uk

 

[Blackjack]

Uk

I will PM you the name of someone here from the UK who can point you in the right direction for SN there.

 

[Hadenuf]

Can't get SN will my idea work ??

 

[Hadenuf]

So I think 5 mg lorazepam and maybe take some strong alcohol then start to swim out in the sea during the night into cold water

 

[Hadenuf]

Anyone to reply

 

[Sweet emotion]

As someone who also suffers from tinnitus I want to say how sorry I am that you have this. I'm sure people say to you....how bad can it be? Buts it's absolutely brutal. It drives a sane person mad. The sounds and the volume it can reach are unbelievable. I pray you find relief soon. All my best.

 

[Hadenuf]

I just can't take anymore

 

[Hadenuf]

Getting anxious thoughts to go now nearly left on Thursday but family seem what I was doing must go soon