Still here. Ugh

[Seekingawayout]

I tried literally all night to either make tourniquet work, or to hang myself.
I did finally get an easy hanging set up, if I can overcome the panic before I pass out.
Pretty sure if I would have hung in for another few seconds, I would have gone.
Now I just want to sleep so day. It's exhausting trying and failing to CTB.
I wish I could just take something so the only SI would be calling for help. But I'm afraid it won't absorb due to me missing a large portion of small intestine.

 

[aforestfire]

i can only imagine how exhausting is to try and fail so many times in just one night. i unfortunately have nothing that would help overcoming SI, but i do wish that you find peace eventually.

 

[Seekingawayout]

i can only imagine how exhausting is to try and fail so many times in just one night. i unfortunately have nothing that would help overcoming SI, but i do wish that you find peace eventually.

I just need to power through. If I keep trying there is bound to be a time I don't save myself in time. Hopefully. I counted to 7 and could tell I was almost there. Just couldn't keep in it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would feel so tired after going through all that. It's so awful to still be here when you so desperately wish to leave, it's like the survival instinct exists just to prolong our suffering and keep us trapped here in this horrific world.

 

[Seekingawayout]

I understand why you would feel so tired after going through all that. It's so awful to still be here when you so desperately wish to leave, it's like the survival instinct exists just to prolong our suffering and keep us trapped here in this horrific world

It really does. It doesn't help that I am limited on methods so have to make less desirable (for me) methods work.