Still didn't do it...

[Ssrejisser]

I have N. I was not able to make myself do it yet. I know I have no choice but to leave, my life is pointless after what happened that made me the way I am. But exactly because I am the way I am, I can't make myself do it! I worry that my plan won't work and I'll be found, I won't be able to fast before... Because I often want to do it on impulse, but it's impossible with N. That's why I thought about some other quick solution, and ordered caffeine powder. In overdose it's supposed to give you cardiac arrest, and that's chest pain, but maybe I can handle that. This way, I can do it anytime at home (I don't think I am able to plan and execute the plan with the hotel anymore, for any method...) and possible even make it look like an accident...
Or please, can someone tell me how I can find somebody who is willing to be with me while I pass?... When I imagine being able to open up to my loved ones about my plan and imagine them being with me, I see myself being able to drink it, because I know they are with me... I feel safe and not scared. How can I accomplish this??....

 

[tuto170]

I had caffeine overdose few times with pre workout used at the gym, and was pretty distressing as it wasn't a big overdose, confusion is the biggest one and panick attack is horrible. It's a harsh way to the, it can last for a long time and you don't know when are you dying

 

[Asta]

PM'd you, Ssrejisser...

 

[Blackjack]

I have N. I was not able to make myself do it yet. I know I have no choice but to leave, my life is pointless after what happened that made me the way I am. But exactly because I am the way I am, I can't make myself do it! I worry that my plan won't work and I'll be found, I won't be able to fast before... Because I often want to do it on impulse, but it's impossible with N. That's why I thought about some other quick solution, and ordered caffeine powder. In overdose it's supposed to give you cardiac arrest, and that's chest pain, but maybe I can handle that. This way, I can do it anytime at home (I don't think I am able to plan and execute the plan with the hotel anymore, for any method...) and possible even make it look like an accident...
Or please, can someone tell me how I can find somebody who is willing to be with me while I pass?... When I imagine being able to open up to my loved ones about my plan and imagine them being with me, I see myself being able to drink it, because I know they are with me... I feel safe and not scared. How can I accomplish this??....

Hi. I, too, have my N & am waiting to tie up a few important family matters before taking it. My planned date as of right now is 9/30. I'm here to talk if/when you need to over the next few weeks before I go.

 

[calendulo]

Do not get me wrong, I think I have understand your post but if I have not....sorry in advance.

Dying using stimulants I do not think that was a good method, at least will be not painless. Tachycardia hurts and spending for a while pump it at 180 or 190............that could to scare anyone, I guess.
Why could not you do it on an impulse using N?. If you take 9 grms. I could to say you from a decent knowledge level that you are passing out within of first half an hour.

I think caffeine spends more time and passing out could to be a real "calvary". (IDK in english.......too much pain....maybe?)

 

[mathieu]

I think caffeine would be horrible. You would probably have a panic attack and call an ambulance.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Simple: Do not ctb on impulse.

 

[mnjkl]

I wish that being honest with loved ones about suicide was an option, but I don't think it is.

 

[Blackjack]

I wish that being honest with loved ones about suicide was an option, but I don't think it is.

No, it's not. Even though I have a terminal disease, they want me to "fight"?! Makes no sense. Makes me angry. They just don't get it.

 

[spanishguy22]

No, it's not. Even though I have a terminal disease, they want me to "fight"?! Makes no sense. Makes me angry. They just don't get it.

Its the selfish human nature. They prefer our chronic suffering to their potential momentary grief. Crude but its reality. Some cases might be ignorance but not most.

 

[Blackjack]

Its the selfish human nature. They prefer our chronic suffering to their potential momentary grief. Crude but its reality. Some cases might be ignorance but not most.

I'm just so sick & tired of all the platitudes & pep talks from everyone I know. I've stopped accepting visitors because of it (which makes my family more exasperated with me.)

 

[Ssrejisser]

Do not get me wrong, I think I have understand your post but if I have not....sorry in advance.

Dying using stimulants I do not think that was a good method, at least will be not painless. Tachycardia hurts and spending for a while pump it at 180 or 190............that could to scare anyone, I guess.
Why could not you do it on an impulse using N?. If you take 9 grms. I could to say you from a decent knowledge level that you are passing out within of first half an hour.

I think caffeine spends more time and passing out could to be a real "calvary". (IDK in english.......too much pain....maybe?)

Can't do on impulse because N needs preparation... Fasting and time not to be discovered.