Still can’t believe this!

[Nem]

My apologies for not being dead already, I thought I would be on here a month and then ctb time.
The only reason I'm so suicidal is a few years ago I had a controlling partner and was forced to quit weed which was the only thing I took for depression. I should've broken off the relationship at the start when I saw a few red flags but I was an idiot.
Two weeks after I quit weed I became severely depressed and told my partner this and they just said bullshit, I don't believe you. Right then I should've gotten the hell out of there but nope, I was an idiot. Made the mistake of telling a coworker that I was dealing with depression/anxiety and they brought some Valium to work the next day and I should've thrown it out.

Next thing I'm on meds and all they did was cause side effects from hell and if I had stopped them right away I would've been fine but something was freakin wrong with me and I kept taking them. Everything was destroyed when my dr prescribed two dangerous meds, two days in we were on a hellcation and told my partner I wanted to stop the meds because they were making me sick.
My partner demanded I keep taking them and since I didn't want to deal with more anger or silent treatment I kept taking them and about 12 days later nearly died. This is a joke, I feel like an idiot for not leaving the hotel room instantly and flown home the next morning.

Right now I am right on the verge of going and I regret even meeting my ex, this is horrible
Peace/hugs

 

[Racee]

No need to apologize *hug

 

[Brick In The Wall]

My apologies for not being dead already, I thought I would be on here a month and then ctb time.
The only reason I'm so suicidal is a few years ago I had a controlling partner and was forced to quit weed which was the only thing I took for depression. I should've broken off the relationship at the start when I saw a few red flags but I was an idiot.
Two weeks after I quit weed I became severely depressed and told my partner this and they just said bullshit, I don't believe you. Right then I should've gotten the hell out of there but nope, I was an idiot. Made the mistake of telling a coworker that I was dealing with depression/anxiety and they brought some Valium to work the next day and I should've thrown it out.

Next thing I'm on meds and all they did was cause side effects from hell and if I had stopped them right away I would've been fine but something was freakin wrong with me and I kept taking them. Everything was destroyed when my dr prescribed two dangerous meds, two days in we were on a hellcation and told my partner I wanted to stop the meds because they were making me sick.
My partner demanded I keep taking them and since I didn't want to deal with more anger or silent treatment I kept taking them and about 12 days later nearly died. This is a joke, I feel like an idiot for not leaving the hotel room instantly and flown home the next morning.

Right now I am right on the verge of going and I regret even meeting my ex, this is horrible
Peace/hugs

Don't be sorry you're still here, we love you and want you to be with us. I remember talking to you a bit about your story and I still think of it when I see you post.

I can relate to the negative experiences with an ex so much as it's one of the driving forces for me being here. Please feel free to message me ANYTIME if you need to talk or anything!

 

[Nem]

Don't be sorry you're still here, we love you and want you to be with us. I remember talking to you a bit about your story and I still think of it when I see you post.

I can relate to the negative experiences with an ex so much as it's one of the driving forces for me being here. Please feel free to message me ANYTIME if you need to talk or anything!

Thanks a lot!!! I never even sued the dr because my ex threatened break up if I did and I was too sick to deal with a break up at the time.
After making a suicide attempt, my ex broke up with me the next day. I appreciate the kind offer!
peace/hugs

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Thanks a lot!!! I never even sued the dr because my ex threatened break up if I did and I was too sick to deal with a break up at the time.
After making a suicide attempt, my ex broke up with me the next day. I appreciate the kind offer!
peace/hugs

I remember that bit too. Bringing a lawsuit on a doctor is no easy feat either. But that's really shitty to dump someone in that way. Some people really have no heart or conscience at all and it disgusts me.

 

[Nem]

I remember that bit too. Bringing a lawsuit on a doctor is no easy feat either. But that's really shitty to dump someone in that way. Some people really have no heart or conscience at all and it disgusts me.

Agreed. I actually had two different triage reports from the hospital when they tried to cover up the fact they left me to die in a wheelchair and refused to help me. My ex even saw the two reports and still refused to help out.
Sorry that you had relationship issues as well, mine was a complete sociopath with near zero empathy
Peace/hugs

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Don't be sorry Nem. Peace and hugs to you too. Whilst I'm glad you are still here I'm sorry you are suffering so. Bloody doctors and their hubris and drugs! Makes me angry.

 

[friendly99]

I wish I could fedex you some arm hugs