Story staying afloat

[never_take_my_heart]

Well.
I indeed published a thread about having a date to CTB. And then losing the reason to go for that exact date, leaving me all disoriented, utterly unsure on how to proceed and thrashing around.

Before I may (or may not? I'm still hanging by a thread of hope to be "saved", heh) schedule another date that'd have personal significance and set me on a structured path of wrapping things up again, I'd still like to fill my days with curiosities, warmth and tranquility, as much as my mental state may allow.

Thus this thread may hopefully serve as a log for my implementations towards such goals.

Recent achievements:
#1 brushed my teeth for the first time in... a while.

#2 washed my hair for the fhe first time... in an even longer while.

#3 made friends with someone in a similar position to me, bonus points for audio calls

#4 reached back to a few friends with whom I haven't talked to in a while, trying to make amends

#5 started going out for late walks, soothing and atmospheric

#6 haven't gorged myself on sweets for a dopamine hit for a few days now, more stability in regards to impulse cravings

Will update. Hopefully.

 

[never_take_my_heart]

#7 10 000 steps with a loaded backpack. Makeshift weighted vest of sorts....

Dopamine hit from a sweet binge would come in handy, honestly. Still debating whether it'd be worth it.

 

[Kimlett]

That's great, congrats on your achievements!

I relate a lot with the binge eating issue. Hang in there for a few days more. Good luck

 

[never_take_my_heart]

#8 didn't get any sweets to binge on

It's amusing how I'm too depressed to even yearn for a surely dopamine hit, haha... For the better, of course. I'd love to lose the weight I piled on. If you squint, you may call it "bulking" because I was lifting weights all throughout to maximize lean mass gain instead of accumulating fatty tissue, but, nah, that was still out of control binging as a way too soothe my miseries via comforting tastes.

That's great, congrats on your achievements!

I relate a lot with the binge eating issue. Hang in there for a few days more. Good luck

That's very kind of you, thank you so much! Glad I'm not alone here, even if it does suck you too are stuck in the binge cycle. :(

 

[never_take_my_heart]

#9 socialized with new people

 

[Redacted24]

Yay you! This last week has been rough for me, but reading this has lifted my spirits! Thank you for sharing... and please, be kind with yourself.
The world is a tough old place. No need to be tough on yourself too, right?
I'm feeling motivated to do something good for myself too now!

 

[never_take_my_heart]

#10 cleaned up my room

Last night I could sense anxiety and unease with no exact direction accumulating. Hoped it'd dissipate upon waking, sadly those feelings transfered, leaving me on the verge of tears and what unironically felt like insanity.

Since this was "frantic" type of dread rather than "paralyzed by horrors" type of dread (much more usual), I channeled that energy to clean up the infinite amount of wrappers and containers laying around.

I had a minimalist phase roughly a year back. Sadly, it wasn't the panacea I was lead to believe it might be, haha, thus I "fell back", but it is nicer to lay in bed that is not full of sand and filled with plastic packages.

I told about my current state to a trusted friend, and thus,

#11 scheduled a call to keep me grounded and comforted

Yay you! This last week has been rough for me, but reading this has lifted my spirits! Thank you for sharing... and please, be kind with yourself.
The world is a tough old place. No need to be tough on yourself too, right?
I'm feeling motivated to do something good for myself too now!

Oh wow, you have no idea just how heartwarming it was to read!.. Thank you so much for sharing such kind thoughts with me. Did you end up doing something good for yourself indeed?

 

[Redacted24]

Hi! Thanks...I treated myself to some ice cream (one of my favorite things)
That was my reward for doing laundry and vacuuming.
I figure the physical work and the ice cream effects canceled each other...
Thanks for the motivation for both, heh heh