Stay or go

[Flying Away]

There is a small chance my life could turn around. Problem is I cannot see the positive anymore. When I was a kid no one knew what BPD was. Was just thought to be weak and depressed. Now in my late 50s I know I have this dreadful illness. There is no cure and throughout my life suicide has always seemed my only option. I never thought I'd live this long. I had one reason to carry on but after 41 years it ended. My reason to live has given me mixed messages because I drive everyone away. Do I see what the next week or so brings. Tonight I feel lonely and very depressed. I want one thing and one thing only. I had it but didn't recognise it. Without it there is no future for me. Do I dare to hope when all I have is fear of rejection. I can't take rejection again. What do I do? What would you do? I have what I need to go but do I have what I need to stay? I think I know the answer.

 

[jimmy7754]

I wish I could go with you.

 

[hellispink]

I also have this nightmare called BDP. I cannot cope with this anymore either. The pain is so rough. I wish you the best in whatever decision you take.

 

[Someone123]

It's really up to you what direction to go, people are here to provide caring and support, but it is maybe the most important rule of the site to not encourage ctb especially, just to provide caring, and to support a person's right to choose for themselves. Below is from the site rules:

Do NOT:

• Encourage acts, ask for encouragement, or help anyone commit any acts.
  • Do not encourage, suggest, manipulate, coerce, or help users carry out acts of any nature whatsoever, including suicide; only provide factual information and emotional support to those who ask for it. Do not try to get the community to tell you what to do, only you can choose your path and actions.

 

[Dizzylady80]

Well, your reason to live was external right? So maybe you can find something out there like it again, or something in place of it. I think if the alternative is suicide then working towards that is worth doing, because the option for suicide will still be there if you decide that that's the move

 

[Flying Away]

It's really up to you what direction to go, people are here to provide caring and support, but it is maybe the most important rule of the site to not encourage ctb especially, just to provide caring, and to support a person's right to choose for themselves. Below is from the site rules:

Do NOT:

• Encourage acts, ask for encouragement, or help anyone commit any acts.
  • Do not encourage, suggest, manipulate, coerce, or help users carry out acts of any nature whatsoever, including suicide; only provide factual information and emotional support to those who ask for it. Do not try to get the community to tell you what to do, only you can

It's really up to you what direction to go, people are here to provide caring and support, but it is maybe the most important rule of the site to not encourage ctb especially, just to provide caring, and to support a person's right to choose for themselves. Below is from the site rules:

Do NOT:

• Encourage acts, ask for encouragement, or help anyone commit any acts.
  • Do not encourage, suggest, manipulate, coerce, or help users carry out acts of any nature whatsoever, including suicide; only provide factual information and emotional support to those who ask for it. Do not try to get the community to tell you what to do, only you can choose your path and actions.

When someone is down kicking them doesn't help. I encouraged no one and you have not provide emotional support if anything the complete opposite.

 

[Someone123]

When someone is down kicking them doesn't help. I encouraged no one and you have not provide emotional support if anything the complete opposite.

Well it does say "Stay or go" and " and "What do I do? What would you do? I have what I need to go but do I have what I need to stay? I think I know the answer"

so it sounds like you are asking- should I commit suicide or not? That's an area that we can't advise people on because if we encourage suicide that can be a legal problem. I don't know how else to interpret it, it sounds like you are asking- should I commit suicide or not? We are all struggling with these issues but we just have to be careful to avoid legal issues. Asking people if you should commit suicide is a clear violation of the site rules.

 

[Flying Away]

Well it does say "Stay or go" and " and "What do I do? What would you do? I have what I need to go but do I have what I need to stay? I think I know the answer"

so it sounds like you are asking- should I commit suicide or not? That's an area that we can't advise people on because if we encourage suicide that can be a legal problem. I don't know how else to interpret it, it sounds like you are asking- should I commit suicide or not? We are all struggling with these issues but we just have to be careful to avoid legal issues. Asking people if you should commit suicide is a clear violation of the site rules.

Thanks you answered my question.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are in this situation. It is such a cruel and unfair life and I know that it is hard to carry on when you suffer so much. I can imagine that it must be really awful dealing with your problems. I hope that you find relief from your pain in whatever you decide to do.