Starting to mourn my own death

[thirdrailer]

I've been fantasizing about various methods. In my fantasies, I had always abandoned the attempt. I was reading the "how to hang yourself" thread and it suggests you close your hand around your neck to make sure you have the right spot. I did so just now. As I felt my pulse more and more heavily, I found my mind's voice thinking, "this is the right answer, <my chosen name>." I found it really affirming that my chosen name came to me in that moment. I also felt sadness. Like I was saying good-bye to myself. It felt right. It felt like it's time. I'm sad. I don't want to go. But staying is too hard. I don't think I'm going to CTB today, but I feel maybe a sense of timeliness.

 

[notforl0ng]

Just be careful. Partial suspension hanging works well if done correctly, but it's almost surgical in how you have to position the knot. Failure can lead to brain damage or being trapped in your own body as a vegetable. I guess that comes with most methods, though.

 

[thirdrailer]

Just be careful. Partial suspension hanging works well if done correctly, but it's almost surgical in how you have to position the knot. Failure can lead to brain damage or being trapped in your own body as a vegetable. I guess that comes with most methods, though.

Thank you. I have a different method in mind as well. I think if I had an easy, guaranteed way that appealed to me, I'd take it. I'm evaluating my options.

 

[abirbul60024]

Thank you. I have a different method in mind as well. I think if I had an easy, guaranteed way that appealed to me, I'd take it. I'm evaluating my options.

what's your different method?

 

[thirdrailer]

what's your different method?

I don't feel comfortable talking about it. I'm not sure why. Clearly I have more thinking to do.