"Stable" is a trap

[Gibliex]

Everyone says stability is the goal. The meds, the therapy, the routine. All meant to get you stable.

But no one talks about how flat that feels. How quiet. How the same pills that stop the chaos also kill the pulse.

I used to burn bright — too bright, sure, but at least I felt alive. Now I wake up, take the jab, and move through life pretending to be human. I do the right things: work, eat, sleep. But inside? Nothing moves.

People praise me for being "better." But if this is better, why does it feel like I'm already dead?

How does anyone recover when the treatment kills the spark that makes you you, and strips away any will to live?

I like to join the ones that can move on from this place but it feels like I'm chemically bound to it now.

How do they do it?

 

[Hvergelmir]

But if this is better, why does it feel like I'm already dead?

Better is relative. That you manage to maintain your life is a good start, and something of a prerequisite for doing well.

You ought to ask your doctor where to go from here. I agree, that one shouldn't be content with mere stability.