stabilizing my friend before leaving

[unluckycatgirl]

I'm pretty set on CTB this month.
I already know my method, my plans beforehand, and so on...
but I kind of feel bad leaving my one and only friend behind because he is truly great but also struggles with mental issues.
I really don't care about anything at this point, but does anyone have any suggestions for me that might make him less likely to CTB right after me?

 

[AbsentMindedHuman]

I don't think there's anything you can 'control' about how others react to your suicide. I have left a couple of letters in past attempts. Done everything in my power to leave those left standing in the best way possible but their reaction was always irrational and unpredictable. Sadly it's a truth we must come to terms with.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

Isn't that extremely hypocritical?

You're literally sat there saying you're going to kill yourself, and yet you want to stop your friend from doing it... yet you 'don't care about anything' - evidently you do. Those that say they don't care about things, do, because you wouldn't mention it if you truly didn't care (about anything, not just your friend).

Perhaps really, you mean you don't want to end it and you're the one that wants to be saved, and that's fine, some do, some don't. Nothing to be ashamed of

 

[Worndown]

You might want to bring someone into the situation that can provide support when you are gone. Your leaving wiil not help him. Having someone else to help him is critical.
Sometimes friendships are work.

 

[agony1996]

I don't think there's anything you can 'control' about how others react to your suicide. I have left a couple of letters in past attempts. Done everything in my power to leave those left standing in the best way possible but their reaction was always irrational and unpredictable. Sadly it's a truth we must come to terms with.

I fully agree with you i don't think there's anyway to lessen the impact your suicide will make on those left behind. I don't think a letter will ease their pain, I've thought about it a million times about what I would say in a letter to my loved ones but I know deep down that it won't make a difference, if anything I think that them reading about how much pain I was in will hurt them more, I don't know what you guys think.

 

[CatLvr]

Maybe, just maybe, you do care more than you are willing to admit to yourself?? You are clearly aware your friend needs you. I am not judging, mind you, but maybe even with how you feel, you should postpone ctb until you can go without the guilt you will feel for abandoning your friend, in your last moments??

I have learned from reading SaSu that many of us have a fluctuating intensity to ctb -- some days we want to go right now, some days we feel we should wait a little longer, for any number of reasons.

My advice would be to hang around a bit. Your post tells me you aren't quite ready. Hugs.

Just a thought.

 

[agony1996]

You might want to bring someone into the situation that can provide support when you are gone. Your leaving wiil not help him. Having someone else to help him is critical.
Sometimes friendships are work.

I think that's really good advice actually

 

[Forever Sleep]

Isn't that extremely hypocritical?

You're literally sat there saying you're going to kill yourself, and yet you want to stop your friend from doing it... yet you 'don't care about anything' - evidently you do. Those that say they don't care about things, do, because you wouldn't mention it if you truly didn't care (about anything, not just your friend).

Perhaps really, you mean you don't want to end it and you're the one that wants to be saved, and that's fine, some do, some don't. Nothing to be ashamed of

I wonder if it's more that we don't want to feel in some way responsible for another person wanting to CTB. Like- maybe they would have continued on if we'd stayed.

Ultimately, we can't actually know how another person will react. Although, I think some of us realise we do have other sensitive souls in our lives who may well not get over the loss. That it may in fact push them over the edge too.

I don't feel so much like it's a hypocritical want to stop them from actually killing themselves. More that we feel bad about potentially adding to their pain to the point they also want to kill themselves in the first place. That's my take on it anyhow. Maybe I've misread the situation.

Sadly though, asides from a well written note, I'm not sure there is much we can do to lessen the impact on those left behind. I'm sorry. I do feel the same way about my Dad although for me, I feel like I absolutely can't go until he does. Unless things really became unbearable for me I guess.