I have been here since November Nd have tried to go multiple times with utter failure, obviously.
Originally I wanted to do the night night method so I got all rhe supplies, I tried the living heck out of that method. Hours and hours of attempts, different placements, nothing worked. Tries to do the SWB method and even after hyperventilating for 15 minutes, I didn't not feel even the slightest sensation.
So now I'm on to full suspension. A oretty try and true method. I have been looking for a tree and a place to step off of for a few weeks now. It's hard to find a naturally accusing place made for full suspension obviously but I think I finally found one as I said yesterday in a thread. I wish it was not on my dad's property but as someone pointed out, no matter where I do it, they will be traumatized.
Anyway, I am making this post because I am hoping to do it tonight. Failure and SI I'd highly probable but I hope I xan succeed. The pain shame and regret I feel for ruining the best thing I had will never leave and nothing can be done to change that. It saddens me slightly no one on here will even notice if I'm successful but I appreciate all the help and support you have given me. I have quite literally come on here at the lowest places just ro feel better, to feel I was staying true to my goal.
For the dedicated people who have read this far, please verify the following sounds correct:
I am using a 10.5 mm static rope that is rated for 425lbs, it does not stretch. The noose will be a slipknot. I worry it will become loose because I just don't like that knot but everyone recommends it. I don't have a specific knot yet for the rope to the tree but I think any highly secure knot or knots will do. Any last minute suggestions will be appreciated. And lastly, the rope should be below my adams apple. I don't really think that matters seeing as in it will go wherever it wants to once I step off but again it is what everyone suggests
Thank you to all of you and I hope I can escape this hell I made for myself
Originally I wanted to do the night night method so I got all rhe supplies, I tried the living heck out of that method. Hours and hours of attempts, different placements, nothing worked. Tries to do the SWB method and even after hyperventilating for 15 minutes, I didn't not feel even the slightest sensation.
So now I'm on to full suspension. A oretty try and true method. I have been looking for a tree and a place to step off of for a few weeks now. It's hard to find a naturally accusing place made for full suspension obviously but I think I finally found one as I said yesterday in a thread. I wish it was not on my dad's property but as someone pointed out, no matter where I do it, they will be traumatized.
Anyway, I am making this post because I am hoping to do it tonight. Failure and SI I'd highly probable but I hope I xan succeed. The pain shame and regret I feel for ruining the best thing I had will never leave and nothing can be done to change that. It saddens me slightly no one on here will even notice if I'm successful but I appreciate all the help and support you have given me. I have quite literally come on here at the lowest places just ro feel better, to feel I was staying true to my goal.
For the dedicated people who have read this far, please verify the following sounds correct:
I am using a 10.5 mm static rope that is rated for 425lbs, it does not stretch. The noose will be a slipknot. I worry it will become loose because I just don't like that knot but everyone recommends it. I don't have a specific knot yet for the rope to the tree but I think any highly secure knot or knots will do. Any last minute suggestions will be appreciated. And lastly, the rope should be below my adams apple. I don't really think that matters seeing as in it will go wherever it wants to once I step off but again it is what everyone suggests
Thank you to all of you and I hope I can escape this hell I made for myself
