Help Spontaneous ctb

[Harriet]

Just curious as I might be in this position soon, like in the next week and a half. If you suddenly decided there was no choice but to ctb, for example if you knew you were due to have a meeting that could go catastrophically, and there was no point going on, and no time to plan, how would you ctb, like on the spur of the moment? Options seem to me to be jumping, cutting, drowning in the sea, (it's at a seaside place), running in front of a car, OD (obvs a shit idea) I guess hanging too though I'm scared of that.. I know these are shit methods.. but if you were DESPERATE what would you do?

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Just curious as I might be in this position soon, like in the next week and a half. If you suddenly decided there was no choice but to ctb, for example if you knew you were due to have a meeting that could go catastrophically, and there was no point going on, and no time to plan, how would you ctb, like on the spur of the moment? Options seem to me to be jumping, cutting, drowning in the sea, (it's at a seaside place), running in front of a car, OD (obvs a shit idea) I guess hanging too though I'm scared of that.. I know these are shit methods.. but if you were DESPERATE what would you do?

I would not do any of these. I would be too fearful.

 

[Harriet]

I would not do any of these. I would be too fearful.

I understand that.. I just know I might do one of them. How bad can swimming out to sea and drowning really be? X

 

[Snake of Eden]

Unless you are in a burning floor where you only can jump to avoid being burnt alife, i dont imagine there are lots of other scenarios where suicide has to be a spur of the moment thing. I dont believe there has to be such a thing.

I understand that.. I just know I might do one of them. How bad can swimming out to sea and drowning really be? X

Swimming is a very traumatic way to die. To me it is one of the worst

 

[Harriet]

Unless you are in a burning floor where you only can jump to avoid being burnt alife, i dont imagine there are lots of other scenarios where suicide has to be a spur of the moment thing. I dont believe there has to be such a thing.

I understand that viewpoint. I know there are a lot of level headed people on here who plan and make a conscious decision life isn't worth living but I do everything with impulse, am in a shit place right now and have a feeling it's going to get a shit load worse in the coming days.

 

[Interloper]

I understand that.. I just know I might do one of them. How bad can swimming out to sea and drowning really be? X

Fill a bucket with water and submerge your head, and keep it submerged even when your lungs start filling with water... you will never want to drown.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I understand that.. I just know I might do one of them. How bad can swimming out to sea and drowning really be? X

Theoretically possible. I was actually swimming a few days ago and I thought about that… I thought that I just need to keep swimming out to sea until I am entirely exhausted and then I'll have no choice but to drown. But I'm not quite that desperate… not even close

 

[Harriet]

Theoretically possible. I was actually swimming a few days ago and I thought about that… I thought that I just need to keep swimming out to see until I am entirely exhausted and then I'll have no choice but to drown. But I'm not quite that desperate… not even close

I just thought maybe it could be different if you've swam out a long way and have no choice but to sink and drown. Maybe if you were drunk or drugged first? Im probably being dumb I know x

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I just thought maybe it could be different if you've swam out a long way and have no choice but to sink and drown. Maybe if you were drunk or drugged first? Im probably being dumb I know x

That's exactly what I was imagining… Just swimming out into the ocean until I was thoroughly exhausted in that way I wouldn't be able to come back… But the whole thing sounds absolutely terrifying… Seems so much more preferable to drink poison and fall asleep within a few minutes and never wake up… There's really no agony other than making the choice itself

 

[Snake of Eden]

I just thought maybe it could be different if you've swam out a long way and have no choice but to sink and drown. Maybe if you were drunk or drugged first? Im probably being dumb I know x

There are people who do it. I dont know how but I guess it is a personal preference.

 

[Harriet]

I guess I'm fucked then!!!

 

[Snake of Eden]

I guess I'm fucked then!!!

You sound young and inexperienced. I would recommend that you dont rush into something as critical as ctb. Whatever you are facing may be not as bad as you may think it is. Ctb is the most important and impactful personal decision anyone can make

 

[Harriet]

You sound young and inexperienced. I would recommend that you dont rush into something as critical as ctb. Whatever you are facing may be not as bad as you may think it is. Ctb is the most important and impactful personal decision anyone can make

Oh thank you! I'm loving how you think I'm young.. I'm in my 40s! xx

 

[Quiet Desperation]

I've been thinking about this for more than 30 years and the conclusion that I've personally reached is that any attempt involving this degree of impulsivity is probably a bad idea and should be slept on, so I guess my answer is that I wouldn't do it.

If it is a genuine and unsolvable enough problem that it must be acted on, my mind isn't going to change in a day or a week or a year. That's mostly how I made it through life, that and not wanting to hurt my loved ones.

Not to say your suffering is not valid. I'm sorry that you're going through it.

 

[dss262]

Just curious as I might be in this position soon, like in the next week and a half. If you suddenly decided there was no choice but to ctb, for example if you knew you were due to have a meeting that could go catastrophically, and there was no point going on, and no time to plan, how would you ctb, like on the spur of the moment? Options seem to me to be jumping, cutting, drowning in the sea, (it's at a seaside place), running in front of a car, OD (obvs a shit idea) I guess hanging too though I'm scared of that.. I know these are shit methods.. but if you were DESPERATE what would you do?

Ive done some research and none of those have much success

 

[Harriet]

I've been thinking about this for more than 30 years and the conclusion that I've personally reached is that any attempt involving this degree of impulsivity is probably a bad idea and should be slept on, so I guess my answer is that I wouldn't do it.

If it is a genuine and unsolvable enough problem that it must be acted on, my mind isn't going to change in a day or a week or a year. That's mostly how I made it through life, that and not wanting to hurt my loved ones.

Not to say your suffering is not valid. I'm sorry that you're going through it.

Thank you.. I'm sort of starting to think there are 2 sorts of people on here, the impulsives and the planners. Obviously I'm generalising massively. SN and N takes planning and a somewhat organised mind. If like me you're bpd and bipolar, on a rollercoaster of life's shit from day to day then one day might be 10/10 good then the next day or week total shit again. But I'm tired of it and coming to a catalyst which I know might push me over the edge x

 

[dss262]

I understand that.. I just know I might do one of them. How bad can swimming out to sea and drowning really be? X

I knew someone who drowned when swimming while drunk

 

[Harriet]

I knew someone who drowned when swimming while drunk

Was it accidental?

 

[dss262]

Was it accidental?

It was. But I'll be drinking

Was it accidental?

It was accidental, but I've always figured drinking would make going through with the act easier.

 

[Harriet]

It was. But I'll be drinking

It was accidental, but I've always figured drinking would make going through with the act easier.

Me too. So is this something you're thinking of?

 

[Quiet Desperation]

Thank you.. I'm sort of starting to think there are 2 sorts of people on here, the impulsives and the planners. Obviously I'm generalising massively. SN and N takes planning and a somewhat organised mind. If like me you're bpd and bipolar, on a rollercoaster of life's shit from day to day then one day might be 10/10 good then the next day or week total shit again. But I'm tired of it and coming to a catalyst which I know might push me over the edge x

I get it, I've had those days and weeks too. I'm not BPD but my ex was. So I understand and am definitely not judging. Apologies if that's how I came off.

The serious planning for me began when things stopped going back to normal in between and life became one continuous depressive episode.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

I guess I'm fucked then!!!

You sound young and inexperienced. I would recommend that you dont rush into something as critical as ctb. Whatever you are facing may be not as bad as you may think it is. Ctb is the most important and impactful personal decision anyone can make

Oh thank you! I'm loving how you think I'm young.. I'm in my 40s! xx

It was the emoji lol

-

If I were desperate I'd take my SN, even if I didn't have all the meds. If I didn't have that I'd probably get really drunk and hang myself in the forest behind my house at night. I'm a major coward though so I'd have to be REALLY drunk/drugged and desperate to hang myself. I recently imagined drowning myself at sea but if it were spontaneous I'd be nowhere near an ocean plus I'm not doing it in my local lake cause that just sounds gross lol.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

My great grandfather drowned himself before the Chinese Communist Party took all of his assets so it can't be THAT difficult to do if one is that desperate. The nice thing about drowning at sea is that unless you're a master swimmer or you're too close to the shore, there's very little you can do to reverse your decision so even if it's painful at least it's almost all but guaranteed.

 

[dss262]

Me too. So is this something you're thinking of?

Me too. So is this something you're thinking of?

A few weeks ago I was standing on a bridge with the intention of falling in the water after I fire a bullet in my head but I chickened out. I've read suicide by drowning has a high mortality but also a high survival rate.

Thank you.. I'm sort of starting to think there are 2 sorts of people on here, the impulsives and the planners. Obviously I'm generalising massively. SN and N takes planning and a somewhat organised mind. If like me you're bpd and bipolar, on a rollercoaster of life's shit from day to day then one day might be 10/10 good then the next day or week total shit again. But I'm tired of it and coming to a catalyst which I know might push me over the edge x

I haven't gone through with my plans but I am looking for a method that I can have readily available when I'm ready.

 

[Flippy]

Just curious as I might be in this position soon, like in the next week and a half. If you suddenly decided there was no choice but to ctb, for example if you knew you were due to have a meeting that could go catastrophically, and there was no point going on, and no time to plan, how would you ctb, like on the spur of the moment? Options seem to me to be jumping, cutting, drowning in the sea, (it's at a seaside place), running in front of a car, OD (obvs a shit idea) I guess hanging too though I'm scared of that.. I know these are shit methods.. but if you were DESPERATE what would you do?

Would you want to share what this meeting is? Maybe it won't seem so daunting if you can talk about it a bit? :-)

Just out of curiosity, is the seaside place you live at in the north or south? I understand you may not want to give out such information on a forum so if you prefer feel free to DM me if you want but don't feel obligated :-)

 

[Harriet]

Would you want to share what this meeting is? Maybe it won't seem so daunting if you can talk about it a bit? :-)

Just out of curiosity, is the seaside place you live at in the north or south? I understand you may not want to give out such information on a forum so if you prefer feel free to DM me if you want but don't feel obligated :-)

Long story but it's a meeting with my Psychologist but she's already let me down big time when I needed her and I know this session will confirm that even more to me. Then I know there will be nowhere to go for help, that was my last resort. I don't mean to sound mysterious, it's complicated x

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

running in front of a car

That's highly irresponsible and can both traumatize and kill innocent people.

I would opt for drowning. I can't swim, so put me in water even 6 feet deep and I'll die. I've had to be rescued from drowning in the past [accidental those times, I was a child and fell into pools, etc.].

 

[bettyboop40]

Personally if it was an impulsive move then I would jump from a great height as higher rate of success.

 

[Harriet]

That's highly irresponsible and can both traumatize and kill innocent people.

I would opt for drowning. I can't swim, so put me in water even 6 feet deep and I'll die. I've had to be rescued from drowning in the past [accidental those times, I was a child and fell into pools, etc.].

Yes you're right. I was drunk when I wrote that but no I definitely wouldn't want to involve others and cause harm to them.

 

[thefoodispoison]

Shallow water blackout could be used at the sea, and sounds like it's less traumatic than just straight up drowning. https://www.shallowwaterblackoutprevention.org/how-it-happens