Venting sorry?

[Life_and_Death]

so this first section is kind of for the members here. im sorry for kind of spamming the site today. i think i have 3 posts and i dont think i typically post more then 2. of course i dont feel completely sorry for it because ive seen people spam it a whole lot worse then this and ive had a shitty day.

i had a whole thing i wanted to get off my chest. fucking worthless cant remember or do shit. oh right thats a whole lot of a little bit that i wanted to say.

i want to hang myself tonight when my husband leaves me alone for a little bit. (im not sure and in fact i doubt i will, but i wouldnt be surprised)

i literally can not get better. these are some messages i sent to my friend a little while ago.

i cant take medication. anything i try just makes it worse and......
my file's been closed.....
i didnt call back
for the irony of it and to make things worse
i didnt call because of a memory problem caused by mental disorders and anxiety.

i cant take meds. i dont have therapy anymore. not that it fucking matters anything i personally tried only made everything worse for me. i tried acceptance. and all that did was cause confusion. i tried to fix my grammar so people could understand me better, now im a pain in the ass. i literally cant get better. i have nothing. when i say my files been closed. i was suppose to call intake so i could get another therapist. clearly that didnt go well, not that it matters it seems.

and my friend....all he wants is for me to be happy. and i just keep ruining everything. "cry me a river" i feel like i have

 

[BitterlyAlive]

It's okay to post more often on a bad day. I do it, too. I'm sorry you're in so much pain.

 

[Life_and_Death]

It's okay to post more often on a bad day. I do it, too. I'm sorry you're in so much pain.

(personal view please no one reading this take it personally)

its just, its one thing if you still have options. well.....maybe this medication will work. or maybe this form of therapy. the prolifers kind of have a point when it comes to that, of course then it is up to the individual to decide if they want to try that one more thing. but.....what do you do aside from committing suicide when you literally have nothing to fall back on.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

(personal view please no one reading this take it personally)

its just, its one thing if you still have options. well.....maybe this medication will work. or maybe this form of therapy. the prolifers kind of have a point when it comes to that, of course then it is up to the individual to decide if they want to try that one more thing. but.....what do you do aside from committing suicide when you literally have nothing to fall back on.

Right, right. You're in a rough situation, my friend. :/