Venting Sorry. I just had to make this stupid thread (About Limerence)

[Dr Iron Arc]

So I was having a pretty good day so far. I stayed up for the Pokémon Presents announcements, then I slept til noon. Midway through the day though it gets ruined by this insidious video from that stupid Dr. K fellow again. Have I mentioned before that I hate him and I hate watch his videos too knowing they'll never help me? Well this time I made the sorry mistake of thinking that maybe it could help me just because he mentioned limerence which, as some people may know, is something I struggled with really badly last year and possibly all throughout my life as well. I would say even now I still feel some pain towards the limerence object of mine but at least I haven't had any recent panic attacks…yet…

You don't have to watch that whole video to know it's complete and utter garbage anyway. I just want to rant about it so bear with me. Most of the video is him explaining what limerence is to the uninitiated. He also goes over some potential causes of limerence which I actually do think might be exactly what applies to me here. He said it's not quite OCD, not quite ADHD, a dash of an Anxious attachment style, and some possible childhood experience where someone briefly met your emotional needs in such a perfect way that it makes one more likely to always chase that perfection. Fine. So maybe I do have a genetic predisposition for those things. The only part I wanted to know is how to fix it?

Well it's the same dumb bullshit that apparently works miracles on everything: breathing exercises. Yoga. Cock-and-Ball-Torture. Yes I see that as equivalent to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. What a stupid joke of a technique. Might as well be as effective as crushing testicles. It's basically just gaslighting yourself by ignoring reality. Big whoop. He also says the key is to look into unmet needs that drew one to the limerence object. Brother. My unmet need was I needed a girlfriend because I am a 31 year old incel who still can't even get over limerence objects from over 20 years ago. How am I supposed to deal with that more than I already am? What a stupid fucking nothingburger of """advice""" this so called medical professional offers. Big talk for someone who refuses to take accountability by saying he's not giving therapy just like all the other lame therapists out there.

Plus he didn't even go into how Limerence is actually even worse for the limerence objects if the limerent one is a man and the LO is a woman. There's so much compassion and acceptance for women feeling limerence whether towards men or other women but us filthy depraved males are not allowed to have such feelings because they are rightfully designated as creepy, disgusting, and deserving of eternal suffering. What a fucking joke that he couldn't even call out the awful males like me for feeling limerence in the first place and clarify that we are worse than scum.

Oh and to end the video off he gives some extremely nonsensical theory that perhaps limerence actually comes from karmic ties to past lives or whatever and that we're simply longing for those past loves. Well good fucking job then. What am I supposed to do with that information? Unbirth myself so I can go back to that past life where I've been with any of the women I've felt limerent towards? Come the fuck on bro.

Anyway, sorry about my rant. I should have kept this to a status update but I'm too angry to wait until midnight. Fuck this pathetic psychiatrist for even trying to pretend he can help save me. I know that if he actually knew me he would probably overconfidently think he could save me but I'm going to make sure he nor any other therapist ever could just out of spite.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Fuck this pathetic therapist for even trying to pretend he can help save me.

The guy seems to be a psychiatrist, not a therapist. These are two completely different professions that require different backgrounds, with psychiatrists being doctors who help patients manage their symptoms by prescribing medications and performing medical procedures. While they can provide therapy, that isn't what they specifically specialize in. Unlike like therapists, they cannot provide regular, in-depth talk therapy. Many psychiatrists generally tend to focus more heavily on prescribing medication over utilizing talk therapy.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The guy seems to be a psychiatrist, not a therapist. These are two completely different professions that require different backgrounds, with psychiatrists being doctors who help patients manage their symptoms by prescribing medications and performing medical procedures. While they can provide therapy, that isn't what they specifically specialize in. Unlike like therapists, they cannot provide regular, in-depth talk therapy. Many psychiatrists generally tend to focus more heavily on prescribing medication over utilizing talk therapy.

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I think he actually does claim to be able to do both but I don't care enough to look into it deeper. Either way it doesn't make a difference to me because both professions have been equally unhelpful for my case.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I think he actually does claim to be able to do both but I don't care enough to look into it deeper. Either way it doesn't make a difference to me because both professions have been equally unhelpful for my case.

As noted in my other post, a psychiatrist can provide therapy. The point that I was making, however, is that he isn't a therapist like you claimed in your original post.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

As noted in my other post, a psychiatrist can provide therapy. The point that I was making, however, is that he isn't a therapist like you claimed in your original post.

Fair enough, I'll amend my statement for that.

 

[whitetaildeer]

Oh and to end the video off he gives some extremely nonsensical theory that perhaps limerence actually comes from karmic ties to past lives or whatever and that we're simply longing for those past loves.

>psychiatrist
>talking about religious/spiritual beliefs

and this guy got his license... how? if he's talking about this garbage with actual patients he'd be out of a job.

It's basically just gaslighting yourself by ignoring reality. Big whoop. He also says the key is to look into unmet needs that drew one to the limerence object.

"ignore reality but also don't ignore reality" what. WHO gave this man a license???

overall what an absolute trainwreck. all else i have to say is

 

[Forever Sleep]

The channel that helped me with limerence was: 'The Crappy Childhood Fairy'. (I went through about 13 years worth of intense and hopeless crushes.)

For me, what worked was to force myself to stop fantasizing about them. (Especially sexually.) Not an easy thing to let go of if it's one of the only pleasurable things in our lives.

However, I think you have to acknowledge that investing emotions in a fantasy version of them (not sure if that's what you do also?) is keeping those feelings going.

Also, I'm very careful to keep a grip on myself if I find myself enfatuating about someone new. I'm still prone to it but, I'm better at being strict with myself. Effectively telling myself it is likely limerence again and, all it's going to ultimately lead me to is hurt.

I suppose I eventually even shed my need to be with someone. I'm older than you though- at 45. At your age, I was still in the painful grips of limerence.

If you don't want to or can't shake the desire of being with someone though. Then, I hate to say it but maybe his advice is trying to point people in the only way to practically deal with it. In as much as feeling more comfortable and confident in yourself to try and attract people in the real world- rather than build a fantasy world with them in the accompanying lead role.