Sometimes I think I am too narcissistic and self-absorbed for suicide

[noname223]

This should not mean suicide would be only for alruistic people. Sucide can have many different reasons. There is a whole spectrum. I think even if someone is self-absorbing and narcisisstic as me the person can commit suicide. I think I will ctb in the future. If the life circumstances are horrible enough a lot of people would commit suicide. At least I think so.

However I want to elaborate what I mean by this title. I am self-pitying and whining a lot. I always regret how things turned out and wish I would not have been abused. I think Slavoj Zizek said (but I am not 100%sure if it was him) people like me create a narrative in order to deal with the circumstances better. They need someone to blame. To be honest I don't like those words. And I think they are not fully true. However you can't blame everything on other people. But indeed this narrative helps me. It comforts me. I try my best to improve. But I have the feeling the game was rigged from the start against my favor. I don't know which choice could have saved me. Running away from home when I was 5? I think I showed first signs of mental illness when I was 7.

I will always regret and cry why life turned out that way. I think these might be my last thoughts before I die. I never will be composed when facing death. I cannot accept my own misery. I try to rebel. But suicide might be my last protest against the injustice which I had too endure. I think I am quite self-centered and sometimes fell like the centre of the universe. the world will go on without me. There are almost 8 billion people on this planet. One more misery and tragic story won't change anything.

 

[jimmy7754]

I can't stand myself. I'm sorry your feeling this way.

 

[Gsvko]

Durkheim defined egoistic suicide - perception that one has failed to live up to values and norms of society, feeling of having no place in society.

 

[sad_gurl_thoughts]

I think there can be a somewhat paradoxical connection between narcissism and depression. There is a sort of obsessive self focus at the root of both and there can also be a sense that the self is not obtaining what it deserves/wants which creates a sense of lacking and longing and then pain.

I too have wondered if I can't commit because on some level because I'm a narcissist. I don't really see it as me not hating myself (which I often do). It fits into my self conception that I'm inherently flawed and overly selfish and that's why I don't have many friends…

The mind is a complicated space and it makes room for neuroses on top of neuroses. Just my thought…

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

people like me create a narrative in order to deal with the circumstances better. They need someone to blame.

Oh fuck off, whoever said this. There are people who create narratives to shift blame away from themselves too. Would it be so fucking terrible if people shared responsibility for life being shit?

 

[forgetme]

This should not mean suicide would be only for alruistic people. Sucide can have many different reasons. There is a whole spectrum. I think even if someone is self-absorbing and narcisisstic as me the person can commit suicide. I think I will ctb in the future. If the life circumstances are horrible enough a lot of people would commit suicide. At least I think so.

However I want to elaborate what I mean by this title. I am self-pitying and whining a lot. I always regret how things turned out and wish I would not have been abused. I think Slavoj Zizek said (but I am not 100%sure if it was him) people like me create a narrative in order to deal with the circumstances better. They need someone to blame. To be honest I don't like those words. And I think they are not fully true. However you can't blame everything on other people. But indeed this narrative helps me. It comforts me. I try my best to improve. But I have the feeling the game was rigged from the start against my favor. I don't know which choice could have saved me. Running away from home when I was 5? I think I showed first signs of mental illness when I was 7.

I will always regret and cry why life turned out that way. I think these might be my last thoughts before I die. I never will be composed when facing death. I cannot accept my own misery. I try to rebel. But suicide might be my last protest against the injustice which I had too endure. I think I am quite self-centered and sometimes fell like the centre of the universe. the world will go on without me. There are almost 8 billion people on this planet. One more misery and tragic story won't change anything.

Quite poetic.


One tragic story did change the world. Many peoples stories have changed the world. Look online.

I'm not saying to ctb I'm saying that out of 8 billion people the fact that the suicide rates are on the rise because of injustice, abuse, assault, and so much more..