Going to try ctb sometime this week. I can't take this anymore. The SI fluctuates, sometimes I'm so relieved by the prospect of death and other times I'm terrified. I'll try again whenever the next time I feel okay with the decision is. I'd appreciate if anyone could pm me for a bit because despite being on a website full of people who are suffering in similar ways, I still feel so so isolated. It's not like I can exactly talk about any of this with people irl. It has to be done this week because of stuff that's going to happen next week that I don't want to face. As of right now I just feel indifferent with my decision, I hope it stays that way because it's easier. Idk if I'll do a final farewell post but I'm glad this website exists and I wish the people on it the best of luck with whatever they plan on doing. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
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