Venting Something must change

[okkkk]

Escape my flesh or I will do it for you. I cant bear my ineptitude. I run from my pain and drown it in chemicals. And that just makes new issues rise. Painful memories bubble up in my skull and the building pressure causes me to hurt myself. I am afraid of where I will run when I am escaping myself. I am filled with an immense fear. It controls me. I utterly despise every aspect of my pathetic life. I have atrophied to such a pathetic point. It makes me want to really hurt myself. And I always do. Thats what Im good at. I shake and sweat and tear out my hair but none of it helps, but I guess it lets me release the tension. I am reaching an end point. I would do anything to stop piloting my tired pile of flesh. God i am so alone.

 

[not from here]

That was so sad and beautiful and heard.

 

[Ruffian]

Escape my flesh or I will do it for you. I cant bear my ineptitude. I run from my pain and drown it in chemicals. And that just makes new issues rise. Painful memories bubble up in my skull and the building pressure causes me to hurt myself. I am afraid of where I will run when I am escaping myself. I am filled with an immense fear. It controls me. I utterly despise every aspect of my pathetic life. I have atrophied to such a pathetic point. It makes me want to really hurt myself. And I always do. Thats what Im good at. I shake and sweat and tear out my hair but none of it helps, but I guess it lets me release the tension. I am reaching an end point. I would do anything to stop piloting my tired pile of flesh. God i am so alone.

Even though we are all ultimately alone, (I posted this somewhere else today) you do have others here with unspeakable psychic and physical pain. You may not feel us, but believe me, I feel you. This isn't the first time I've noticed your post. You express despair and pain honestly and beautifully. If I were religious I would pray for you to find peace by any means necessary.

 

[okkkk]

We can all bear the weight of conciousness together. Reading the posts here makes me feel a lot less alone. Im thankful that people here are so kind and supportive. You calling my inane ramblings beautiful really makes me feel good.

 

[Donewith_]

I am sorry you are feeling so hurt. I know being in that place sucks.
But , atleast we have each other here.. hugs.