Venting Something is pushing me from CTB

[br0kenMIND72]

When I wake up, immediately I start to hate life and I wish myself to not be alive but when I read these posts about death something just pushes me off... Anyone has similar feelings? I plan to order SN and just keep it because real problem starts with getting antiemetic drugs and I don't wanna drink SN alone because I know I would puke. Also I don't know should I open myself to other people because I don't have any real friends but I know some people but I really wasn't talking with them. When it comes to meeting and talking to people I'm like ghost, mostly these people are from recent schools and I have no idea if I would be welcome. How would you feel when some silent classmate would write to you several years later? Also I miss my one real life friend who passed away in accident, truly a little part of me died then.
Some people say that people who CBT are cowards but no, it takes a great courge to end your life. I feel like a coward I should be more open in the past and I only see darkness in future. I don't know should I go to psychologist to seek help. I'm lost again.

 

[SettOne1994]

if you find light in the tunnel going on a psychologist do it. Myself i never believed in them cause i knew despite all the talking its on me and my two feet to walk this path i am on....with the good and bad. I have same situation with yours about friends. I do have around 5 of them i can call buddys but they all are on their path with each having a job some having a partner etc so i know what you mean would they want you ? truth is they would unless you was a prick all your life but if you have changed from then , then again the answer would be positive....i think there is some hope for you since you asked us about meeting a psychiatrist . Myself im in a terrible situation and i never saw hope with them even if 1 of them was a nice nice woman . What is SN btw the all mention it

 

[drake4871]

I mean your SN won't even arrive for awhile, if you're not sure about CTBing then I'd consider going to the psychologist he might help you out. If I were you I'd try to keep the friends I already have, talk to the psychologist and then work on getting new ones. Are you feeling really helpless right now?

What is SN btw the all mention it

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-megathread.1156/

 

[S1mpleme]

When I wake up, immediately I start to hate life and I wish myself to not be alive but when I read these posts about death something just pushes me off... Anyone has similar feelings? I plan to order SN and just keep it because real problem starts with getting antiemetic drugs and I don't wanna drink SN alone because I know I would puke. Also I don't know should I open myself to other people because I don't have any real friends but I know some people but I really wasn't talking with them. When it comes to meeting and talking to people I'm like ghost, mostly these people are from recent schools and I have no idea if I would be welcome. How would you feel when some silent classmate would write to you several years later? Also I miss my one real life friend who passed away in accident, truly a little part of me died then.
Some people say that people who CBT are cowards but no, it takes a great courge to end your life. I feel like a coward I should be more open in the past and I only see darkness in future. I don't know should I go to psychologist to seek help. I'm lost again.

Jose listen to your heart. You have right to die and to live. It up to you if you want to be open here, but be careful. I don't have any friends and to me that's extremely hard, in most cases I just got ghosted after few days or even messages.