Venting Someone or Something Likes Fucking With Me!

[BlueWidow]

Today I went to the doctor because my sister-in-law scheduled an appointment for me without my knowledge or consent.
I knew it would be a waste of time, but since I'm about to ctb soon, I thought I'd humor her a little bit and go.
First of all, I'm only ever even
semi-conscious for about 2 or 3 hours after I take my thyroid meds. The rest of the time, I'm a walking zombie. So I purposely delayed taking my meds today so that it would be timed perfectly and I would be as alert as I possibly could when I was seeing the doctor. Then we went in and we had to wait for 2 hours to see him, even though I had an appointment.
By that time, I was starting to get unfocused and brain foggy again, so I couldn't ask him most of the questions that I wanted to ask because I just didn't feel like arguing with him at that point.
I got a blood test a few weeks ago, the TSH or Thyroid Stimulating Hormone test. Pretty much all the doctors I've ever seen care more about what that test says than how I feel. This doctor was no exception.
He explained to me that my thyroid was working too hard and so he had to lower my dose of medicine. Maybe if someone's a medical professional on here they can explain that to me because it seems to me if something is working too hard, it probably needs some assistance, like perhaps MORE thyroid medicine- not less!
He also started urging me to see a psychiatrist. He knows I'm depressed, but no one has any idea of my plan to ctb. I told him that until my thyroid was fixed, seeing a psychiatrist or even attempting to do anything about my depression was a waste of time. He decided not to force me to go see a psychiatrist, but he did advise me that I need to get out of the house more and be around people. So apparently the answer to all my problems is to force myself to go out of the house no matter how exhausting it is for me, particularly now that I'm on a lower dose of thyroid medicine.

I got very upset by all this, even though it's what I expected. I tried to make my
sister-in-law see that this is a waste of time.
She suggested maybe I could see an
Endocrinologist— because, of course, I hadn't thought of that in the entire 24 years that I've been dealing with this shit! January will actually be 24 years that I've been dealing with this now, which is almost half my entire fucking life, so from now on I'm going to move it up a year and start referring to it as 24 years instead of 23. I told her that when my husband was alive he even interrupted an Endocrinologist when he was playing golf and asked him if there was anything he could do for me. The problem is they believe the same thing every other doctor does. All they care about the fucking TSH test. They don't give a damn how I feel. I told my sister-in-law that, at this rate, I'm just going to lie down one day and I'm never going to wake up again. I was referring to the coma I'm going to end up in because I'm not getting my thyroid properly treated. She has no idea about my plan to swallow SN and hopefully go to sleep and never wake up. This was just an offhand comment on my part. However, my sister-in-law started crying and telling me how she couldn't lose me, and we had to figure out some way to fix this, and so on.
I tried to explain to her that I've been trying to fix it for 24 years and I'm tired. I'm tired of wasting my time. I'm tired of wasting my money. And I'm damn tired of wasting what little energy I have! I could get the same amount accomplished by just going outside and banging my head against the wall!

However, I felt so guilty about how upset she was that I have agreed to go with her on Wednesday to visit her friend, even though it's going to be a 2 hour ride there and a 2 hour ride back minimum, not counting traffic and the time we have to spend with her friend. It's going to exhaust me for days on end and be boring as hell. I also agreed to go with her to a big family Christmas dinner that she arranged for all her family at a local restaurant. I had already planned to go to that before this happened. It's going to be a nightmare for me. Little kids running around screaming. Everyone talking at once, only not talking to me. I'm gonna be sitting there by myself wishing I was back at home in my bed watching TV or hanging around on here.
I know she's now going to use this situation to try to guilt me into staying at her house for Christmas and New Year.
I don't know what to do. She is one of the sweetest people I've ever met in my life and I know, even though she drives me crazy and I wish she would get things through her thick head, she does care about me and she's just trying to help me. I know my ctb is going to break her heart. The rest of the family may hate me more for hurting her than for ctb.
She keeps trying to help me and the problem is there's nothing she can do. It's too late!
She never lets me pay for anything when we go out and she always insist on buying me food. We always either have to stop and eat, or I have to stop and get something and take it home with me. She's done so many nice things for me since I moved to the area I'm in now that I can't even begin to list them all, but the one thing she can't do is make my life any better, or make my health any better, or bring my husband back.
Actually, I hadn't thought of this before, but if my husband is somewhere and aware of what I'm doing, he's probably upset that I'm going to hurt his sister as well. Although, I'm sure he's also upset that I'm having such a hard time.
The doctor asked me if I had ever been diagnosed with PTSD. I have never been officially diagnosed, but I know I have it.
My entire life has been nothing more than a long string of traumatic events, one after the other with no break in between. Even when I was with my husband, although I was happy, I was still battling this fucking thyroid problem! I can't think of any time in my life when I was 100% free of extreme stress and trauma. I've always been battling something.
I know that no one here can tell me what to do. I've pretty much got my mind made up that I am going to ctb no matter the consequences to anyone. I just can't do it anymore. I've spent most of my life living for one person or another. It's about time I started doing what I need to do for myself, instead of worrying about how my actions are going to affect everyone else. Other people don't seem to worry about how their actions are going to affect me at all. That's why it pisses me off so much that I'm so torn about this.
Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant.
I knew going to the doctor was a bad idea.

I feel like the universe or whoever is pulling the strings up there is trying to mess up my ctb plans. Now I have to expend more energy that I don't have consoling and coddling my sister-in-law right in the middle of my rush to get things done before my ctb date. The universe is trying to make me so exhausted that I can't ctb.

 

[almaranthine]

I read your rant without taking another sip of my wine (I didn't want to lose momentum). I am assuming (from the post and your username) that your husband has passed on; if this is true and you do believe in your heart that he is out there somewhere... I believe it is best to not assume that he is upset with you. If this world is the unrefined suffering that purifies our souls, then the afterlife is relent and unlimited understanding- peace. He would not be upset with you, but would deeply understand your motivations for wanting to rip yourself out of this world.

 

[BlueWidow]

I read your rant without taking another sip of my wine (I didn't want to lose momentum). I am assuming (from the post and your username) that your husband has passed on; if this is true and you do believe in your heart that he is out there somewhere... I believe it is best to not assume that he is upset with you. If this world is the unrefined suffering that purifies our souls, then the afterlife is relent and unlimited understanding- peace. He would not be upset with you, but would deeply understand your motivations for wanting to rip yourself out of this world.

Thanks for taking the time to read my long rant. Yes, my husband passed away a little over 2 years ago. He had cancer. Thanks also for the kind words. I would like to think the afterlife exists and is as you describe. I hope my husband and I get to have the peace and togetherness we didn't get in this life. I hope he understands my suffering and that I don't want to hurt anyone with my ctb, but I MUST get relief from my physical and emotional struggles and I can't get it here.

 

[almaranthine]

Thanks for taking the time to read my long rant. Yes, my husband passed away a little over 2 years ago. He had cancer. Thanks also for the kind words. I would like to think the afterlife exists and is as you describe. I hope my husband and I get to have the peace and togetherness we didn't get in this life. I hope he understands my suffering and that I don't want to hurt anyone with my ctb, but I MUST get relief from my physical and emotional struggles and I can't get it here.

Dear stranger, no worries. I was only surprised that I managed to get through that many paragraphs without relenting. I pray that the afterlife, if it should exist, is as such. I want that everlasting peace with my lost love... that we should meet again and know deeply, exactly, why we chose to evade each other in earthly life. That would be the ultimate reward to this stretch of seemingly pointless suffering.

 

[Passersby]

Hi Blue widow, I took the time to read your post. It sounds rough. Even though my problems are different than your I can relate to you because I too suffer physically and mentally. The more I suffer physically, then more I suffer mentally and on and on forever as long as I am alive. Whether that's 1 day or 50 more years. I know what you mean about the doctors. Some things just aren't fixable but I hope your would be. After you have fought something for years and seen the best doctors it foolish to think that magic will fall from the sky and fix physical problem. That my situation anyway. So I am ready to ctb too because my problems aren't fixable and just continuing to suffer every day and every week is the same. It repeats until I die. Doctors are exhausting. Being around people when you are physically suffering is exhausting and unsustainable. Talk to you later.

 

[BlueWidow]

Hi Blue widow, I took the time to read your post. It sounds rough. Even though my problems are different than your I can relate to you because I too suffer physically and mentally. The more I suffer physically, then more I suffer mentally and on and on forever as long as I am alive. Whether that's 1 day or 50 more years. I know what you mean about the doctors. Some things just aren't fixable but I hope your would be. After you have fought something for years and seen the best doctors it foolish to think that magic will fall from the sky and fix physical problem. That my situation anyway. So I am ready to ctb too because my problems aren't fixable and just continuing to suffer every day and every week is the same. It repeats until I die. Doctors are exhausting. Being around people when you are physically suffering is exhausting and unsustainable. Talk to you later.

Thanks for reading my rant. I've been trying for 24 years. If my thyroid isn't fixed by now it never will be. Yet everyone always want a me to try "one more time" or see " one more doctor ". Then, when that doesn't work out, it's one more and one more and one more. . . until I'm dead anyway. Might as well skip it and die now.

Sorry to hear you have mental and physical health issues too. It certainly sucks.

Doctors are exhausting. Being around people when you are physically suffering is exhausting and unsustainable.

I couldn't agree more. Peace

 

[sleepy dog]

"but the one thing she can't do is make my life any better, or make my health any better, or bring my husband back"

I understand what you are saying. You are frustrated. The do-gooders interfering. She can make your life better. It seems like she is. She can't make your health any better, but she is trying. She can't bring your husband back of course, but she can be a friend. Sometimes people want to help, but don't know the exact details of how. They try what seems the best thing to do. I would welcome her relationship, but calmly let her know what you said in the quote above. Maybe she just needs to hear the words so she can realize some things.

Please don't misunderstand me. I am no optimist, or always hopeful.

 

[Moonicide]

I'm so sorry, love. I can relate so much. I deal with thyroid issues as well... It is so difficult to treat due to the doctors not listening to their patients. They should be testing more than just the TSH... I had to fight to even get thyroid medication. It's ridiculous.

 

[BlueWidow]

"but the one thing she can't do is make my life any better, or make my health any better, or bring my husband back"

I understand what you are saying. You are frustrated. The do-gooders interfering. She can make your life better. It seems like she is. She can't make your health any better, but she is trying. She can't bring your husband back of course, but she can be a friend. Sometimes people want to help, but don't know the exact details of how. They try what seems the best thing to do. I would welcome her relationship, but calmly let her know what you said in the quote above. Maybe she just needs to hear the words so she can realize some things.

Please don't misunderstand me. I am no optimist, or always hopeful.

Thank you @sleepy dog for your advice.
Today I was looking around in an old computer that my husband and I shared and I found a document I wrote nearly 10 years ago explaining in great detail a horrific encounter I had with an endocrinologist. This doctor was one of the most rude, arrogant, condescending assholes I've ever met in my life. I have tried to post my account of the incident on here, but my phone won't let me for some reason. It's really long, so I don't want to copy it and just put it on here as a thread. It would be way too long for that.
That may be why my phone is rejecting my ability to post it here. Perhaps the document is too large or something.
Anyway, I printed this document out and I intend to show it to my sister-in-law. Hopefully this will convince her of what happens when I go to an endocrinologist for help. I've also written down the sentence in my post that you highlighted and I intend to go over that with her tomorrow. I'm hoping I can at least convince her that trying to get any more help or wasting anymore time with these doctors is pointless.
Actually, in the document, I found out that I've been dealing with this for a year longer than I realized, so next month will actually be 25 years that I've been dealing with this, which is exactly half of my life.
Thank you for replying to my thread and for the great suggestion.

 

[Final Escape]

I'm also on thyroid meds because at age 23 had a goiter so the medical complex decided to destroy my thyroid to get me permanently dependent on that garbage synthetic stuff called synthroid or levothyroxine. I guess you could try to look into bioidentical hormones to actually get what u need. The issue it might be spendier, insurance may not cover. The gov controlled healthcare is only going to give u the synthetic hormone which does not work for everyone and it's why u might be suffering. They don't check both T3 and T4. Hopefully u can find bioidentical thyroid hormones and find private doctor. I'm on the synthetic stuff but it might be a reason I don't feel as great as I probably should. Often they're changing my dose it's a pain. I'm sorry I was suggesting another doctor and I guess u have tried everything. :(

 

[c824767]

Today I went to the doctor because my sister-in-law scheduled an appointment for me without my knowledge or consent.
I knew it would be a waste of time, but since I'm about to ctb soon, I thought I'd humor her a little bit and go.
First of all, I'm only ever even
semi-conscious for about 2 or 3 hours after I take my thyroid meds. The rest of the time, I'm a walking zombie. So I purposely delayed taking my meds today so that it would be timed perfectly and I would be as alert as I possibly could when I was seeing the doctor. Then we went in and we had to wait for 2 hours to see him, even though I had an appointment.
By that time, I was starting to get unfocused and brain foggy again, so I couldn't ask him most of the questions that I wanted to ask because I just didn't feel like arguing with him at that point.
I got a blood test a few weeks ago, the TSH or Thyroid Stimulating Hormone test. Pretty much all the doctors I've ever seen care more about what that test says than how I feel. This doctor was no exception.
He explained to me that my thyroid was working too hard and so he had to lower my dose of medicine. Maybe if someone's a medical professional on here they can explain that to me because it seems to me if something is working too hard, it probably needs some assistance, like perhaps MORE thyroid medicine- not less!
He also started urging me to see a psychiatrist. He knows I'm depressed, but no one has any idea of my plan to ctb. I told him that until my thyroid was fixed, seeing a psychiatrist or even attempting to do anything about my depression was a waste of time. He decided not to force me to go see a psychiatrist, but he did advise me that I need to get out of the house more and be around people. So apparently the answer to all my problems is to force myself to go out of the house no matter how exhausting it is for me, particularly now that I'm on a lower dose of thyroid medicine.

I got very upset by all this, even though it's what I expected. I tried to make my
sister-in-law see that this is a waste of time.
She suggested maybe I could see an
Endocrinologist— because, of course, I hadn't thought of that in the entire 24 years that I've been dealing with this shit! January will actually be 24 years that I've been dealing with this now, which is almost half my entire fucking life, so from now on I'm going to move it up a year and start referring to it as 24 years instead of 23. I told her that when my husband was alive he even interrupted an Endocrinologist when he was playing golf and asked him if there was anything he could do for me. The problem is they believe the same thing every other doctor does. All they care about the fucking TSH test. They don't give a damn how I feel. I told my sister-in-law that, at this rate, I'm just going to lie down one day and I'm never going to wake up again. I was referring to the coma I'm going to end up in because I'm not getting my thyroid properly treated. She has no idea about my plan to swallow SN and hopefully go to sleep and never wake up. This was just an offhand comment on my part. However, my sister-in-law started crying and telling me how she couldn't lose me, and we had to figure out some way to fix this, and so on.
I tried to explain to her that I've been trying to fix it for 24 years and I'm tired. I'm tired of wasting my time. I'm tired of wasting my money. And I'm damn tired of wasting what little energy I have! I could get the same amount accomplished by just going outside and banging my head against the wall!

However, I felt so guilty about how upset she was that I have agreed to go with her on Wednesday to visit her friend, even though it's going to be a 2 hour ride there and a 2 hour ride back minimum, not counting traffic and the time we have to spend with her friend. It's going to exhaust me for days on end and be boring as hell. I also agreed to go with her to a big family Christmas dinner that she arranged for all her family at a local restaurant. I had already planned to go to that before this happened. It's going to be a nightmare for me. Little kids running around screaming. Everyone talking at once, only not talking to me. I'm gonna be sitting there by myself wishing I was back at home in my bed watching TV or hanging around on here.
I know she's now going to use this situation to try to guilt me into staying at her house for Christmas and New Year.
I don't know what to do. She is one of the sweetest people I've ever met in my life and I know, even though she drives me crazy and I wish she would get things through her thick head, she does care about me and she's just trying to help me. I know my ctb is going to break her heart. The rest of the family may hate me more for hurting her than for ctb.
She keeps trying to help me and the problem is there's nothing she can do. It's too late!
She never lets me pay for anything when we go out and she always insist on buying me food. We always either have to stop and eat, or I have to stop and get something and take it home with me. She's done so many nice things for me since I moved to the area I'm in now that I can't even begin to list them all, but the one thing she can't do is make my life any better, or make my health any better, or bring my husband back.
Actually, I hadn't thought of this before, but if my husband is somewhere and aware of what I'm doing, he's probably upset that I'm going to hurt his sister as well. Although, I'm sure he's also upset that I'm having such a hard time.
The doctor asked me if I had ever been diagnosed with PTSD. I have never been officially diagnosed, but I know I have it.
My entire life has been nothing more than a long string of traumatic events, one after the other with no break in between. Even when I was with my husband, although I was happy, I was still battling this fucking thyroid problem! I can't think of any time in my life when I was 100% free of extreme stress and trauma. I've always been battling something.
I know that no one here can tell me what to do. I've pretty much got my mind made up that I am going to ctb no matter the consequences to anyone. I just can't do it anymore. I've spent most of my life living for one person or another. It's about time I started doing what I need to do for myself, instead of worrying about how my actions are going to affect everyone else. Other people don't seem to worry about how their actions are going to affect me at all. That's why it pisses me off so much that I'm so torn about this.
Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant.
I knew going to the doctor was a bad idea.

I feel like the universe or whoever is pulling the strings up there is trying to mess up my ctb plans. Now I have to expend more energy that I don't have consoling and coddling my sister-in-law right in the middle of my rush to get things done before my ctb date. The universe is trying to make me so exhausted that I can't ctb.

I got so mad they told me I became bipolar because of thyroid meds. Government regulations make doctors underprescribe thyroid and SLEEPING PILLS. so people cannot be awake and cannot be asleep. They live on coffee and are ALWAYS strung out. like a lizard drinking.

 

[BlueWidow]

I'm also on thyroid meds because at age 23 had a goiter so the medical complex decided to destroy my thyroid to get me permanently dependent on that garbage synthetic stuff called synthroid or levothyroxine. I guess you could try to look into bioidentical hormones to actually get what u need. The issue it might be spendier, insurance may not cover. The gov controlled healthcare is only going to give u the synthetic hormone which does not work for everyone and it's why u might be suffering. They don't check both T3 and T4. Hopefully u can find bioidentical thyroid hormones and find private doctor. I'm on the synthetic stuff but it might be a reason I don't feel as great as I probably should. Often they're changing my dose it's a pain. I'm sorry I was suggesting another doctor and I guess u have tried everything. :(

Yes, I'm fully aware that most Drs don't test for T3 (which for those who don't know is the part of the thyroid hormone that controls your metabolism, energy level, body temp, blood pressure, and so much more). Drs normally only test for T4 because it is theorized and taught in med schools that T4 will turn into T3 in your body. Hence, Synthroid or synthetic thyroid pills contain only a synthetic version of T4.
Problem is some people don't process Synthroid correctly and it doesn't turn into T4 in their bodies. It just get a passed through. I am one of those people. That's a simplistic explanation, but you get the idea. I was on Synthroid for 13 years while my thyroid slowly stopped functioning.
I've never tried bioidentical hormones. Those might help me, but I wouldn't be able to afford them most likely. I'm currently on Armour Thyroid, a very expensive natural thyroid drug. However, I've been on too low of a dose for 10 years now, so my thyroid still isn't functioning properly. The Dr. doubled my dose from 150 mg to 300 mg in August, but only kept it that high for 2 or 3 weeks before ordering the TSH test.
With each test I get, he lowers it back down a little more. First, it was lowered to 210mg, yesterday down to 180mg. He wants another TSH test in 4-6 weeks when he will probably lower me back down to where I started at 150mg, so what was all this for just for me to end up right back on the dose that was making me completely non - functional again?! Luckily, in 4-6 weeks, I don't plan on being here.

I got so mad they told me I became bipolar because of thyroid meds. Government regulations make doctors underprescribe thyroid and SLEEPING PILLS. so people cannot be awake and cannot be asleep. They live on coffee and are ALWAYS strung out. like a lizard drinking.

I didn't know thyroid meds could cause bipolar, but it doesn't surprise me. I'm sorry that happened to you. Yup, I drink coffee all day long. The gov't seems to want everyone addicted to something. Addicts are easier to control.

 

[Final Escape]

That's what I was just going to say, armour thyroid is supposed to be the natural one. I wonder if u can get the right dose on the dark net? I know right but it's kind of a pain in the butt. Who wants to have to illegally purchase drugs that u actually need to live. You should be able to easily access what u need without any hassle for something like this. Also, it's crazy that the doctor is limiting what dose u need if it's not working for u. Are u in the US? That is terrifying what u are going through with this. I guess it would have been possible to treat my goiter without destroying my thyroid and putting me on the pills for life but at some point the medical system turned into a system where they cause illness or push pills instead of prevention and cure. The water flouridation, and removal of iodine from the food supply, adding toxic stuff into food and other products is making it so everyone has thyroid issues now. Well many many pple, I know so many. That's not an accident.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I always read your posts because they are so eloquent. I despair of doctors. They care nothing about how you feel only their care pathways. They seldom even think around things because of rigid protocols. Anything unusual and they are stumped. And if you educate yourself and talk back... oh how they hate that! I find myself psychologicaly manipulating doctors now that I know how they think. They are possessed of innate intelligence to get an MD. Clever people can often be manipulated more easily if you are careful and lead them where you want their thoughts to go. Doesn't always work though. Beating yer head against a brick wall comes to mind.

 

[BlueWidow]

That's what I was just going to say, armour thyroid is supposed to be the natural one. I wonder if u can get the right dose on the dark net? I know right but it's kind of a pain in the butt. Who wants to have to illegally purchase drugs that u actually need to live. You should be able to easily access what u need without any hassle for something like this. Also, it's crazy that the doctor is limiting what dose u need if it's not working for u. Are u in the US? That is terrifying what u are going through with this. I guess it would have been possible to treat my goiter without destroying my thyroid and putting me on the pills for life but at some point the medical system turned into a system where they cause illness or push pills instead of prevention and cure. The water flouridation, and removal of iodine from the food supply, adding toxic stuff into food and other products is making it so everyone has thyroid issues now. Well many many pple, I know so many. That's not an accident.

That's what I was just going to say, armour thyroid is supposed to be the natural one. I wonder if u can get the right dose on the dark net? I know right but it's kind of a pain in the butt. Who wants to have to illegally purchase drugs that u actually need to live. You should be able to easily access what u need without any hassle for something like this. Also, it's crazy that the doctor is limiting what dose u need if it's not working for u. Are u in the US? That is terrifying what u are going through with this. I guess it would have been possible to treat my goiter without destroying my thyroid and putting me on the pills for life but at some point the medical system turned into a system where they cause illness or push pills instead of prevention and cure. The water flouridation, and removal of iodine from the food supply, adding toxic stuff into food and other products is making it so everyone has thyroid issues now. Well many many pple, I know so many. That's not an accident.

I agree. It's funny to me that they treat hyperthyroidism very seriously because it can kill you quickly. This doctor was testing me for hyperthyroid symptoms. He kept implying that I was having tremors and asking me if my heart was beating fast. I told him none of that is the case. I'm so far on the other end of the spectrum that I can't even see hyperthyroidism from here, yet he was desperately trying to imply I had hyperthyroidism from too much meds and that's why he had to lower my dose. I think they just want me to remain a zombie who's too exhausted to fight back anymore until I go into a coma and die.
I really think my thyroid is irreversibly damaged at this point and my death is inevitable. It's just a matter of: do I want to sit around here and wait for another several years to slowly go into a coma, or do I want to just do it quickly. I've made my choice and I'm quite comfortable with it.
I feel bad that I'm going to hurt my sister-in-law, but she just won't listen to reason. I'm done explaining myself. They can all discuss it among themselves after I'm gone.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I agree. It's funny to me that they treat hyperthyroidism very seriously because it can kill you quickly. This doctor was testing me for hyperthyroid symptoms. He kept implying that I was having tremors and asking me if my heart was beating fast. I told him none of that is the case. I'm so far on the other end of the spectrum that I can't even see hyperthyroidism from here, yet he was desperately trying to imply I had hyperthyroidism from too much meds and that's why he had to lower my dose. I think they just want me to remain a zombie who's too exhausted to fight back anymore until I go into a coma and die.
I really think my thyroid is irreversibly damaged at this point and my death is inevitable. It's just a matter of: do I want to sit around here and wait for another several years to slowly go into a coma, or do I want to just do it quickly. I've made my choice and I'm quite comfortable with it.
I feel bad that I'm going to hurt my sister-in-law, but she just won't listen to reason. I'm done explaining myself. They can all discuss it among themselves after I'm gone.

Isn't it odd how so many docs try to tell you what your symptoms are and won't listen to what your symptoms. ..actually...are.

 

[BlueWidow]

Isn't it odd how so many docs try to tell you what your symptoms are and won't listen to what your symptoms. ..actually...are.

Well, they are the doctor and they have to make sure that you are aware that they have a fancy degree and, therefore, they know more about you and your body and your lifestyle etc. than you do. How dare you question their diagnoses and methods with your insights into your own life, your own body, and your own health! Just because you've been living it and they haven't doesn't mean that you know more about it than they do.

(I'm going to assume everyone here knows that the above is sarcastic, but for someone who might not realize it. . .
As Charlie Brown once said "Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?".)