Discussion Someone feel guilty because have bad thoughts during the Christmas holiday

[Quinlor]

I feel bad for my parents... Actually I am alive just because them.

 

[Lastsauce]

The only reason I'm still here is I have to take care of my elderly parents.

 

[_Minsk]

Actually I am alive just because them.

same

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

I do because my family members adore Christmas and all I want to do is cry. They are 56 and as lively as ever while I ruin all the fun.

 

[Freedom Believer]

Yes. Christmas used to be my favorite holiday and now I can't celebrate it this year because of all these thoughts. Hopefully I can let it subside for Christmas, then I can go through with it.

 

[Sensei]

Absolutely. We celebrate Christmas on the 24th in the Nordic countries, and here I am, spending an idyllic evening with my parents and closest family, posting in a suicide forum and thinking about my approaching death. We just watched a clip on the news about preventing suicides during the holidays and it hurt like hell.

 

[Enshadowed]

I do feel a little guilty. My sister loves Christmas and that is one of the reasons I am holding out a bit longer. I don't want to ruin the holiday for her or the rest of my family so am just doing my research and starting to order my things so I have everything I need in a month or two. For now I'll just be spending the day wondering if they notice that the smile on my face is fake or not.

 

[Rushon]

This is my first Christmas without my girlfriend and I am hurting. I miss her, I miss my dogs, miss my way of life. I am almost 60 now, we were together for a long time.

 

[Jean4]

This is my first Christmas without my girlfriend and I am hurting. I miss her, I miss my dogs, miss my way of life. I am almost 60 now, we were together for a long time.

Hey Rushon. You aren't alone! Come join us is the Christmas thread in the off topic section! What are you bringing? Can you cook? I can't!!!

 

[Rushon]

Yes I did all the cooking in my household.

 

[Jean4]

Yes I did all the cooking in my household.

If you clean too.... you are hired! I burn and don't clean lol

 

[wraith2020]

I feel bad for my parents... Actually I am alive just because them.

Same. That's the only thing keeping me around currently. I'm worried about the pain my mother will go through.

 

[Quinlor]

Me: father I didn't buy nothing for you this year.

My father: doesn't matter, the important is your presence here to night with me


My thoughts inside me at these moment: Damn it, such pressure! Why you do it to me...

 

[Berlin76]

Not feeling guilty but more why am i still here. All just because i am on the waiting list for euthanasia for over a year wtf. Wish i was gone already. But hopefully it will come soon

 

[Shero]

I was more in a spectator position. Mostly apathetic and mindly absent. I saw my 2 year old niece open packages and having fun dancing around. Im thankful for that memory. Sadly i won't see her grow up to a beautiful and kindhearted person that she will surely be.

 

[Berlin76]

I was more in a spectator position. Mostly apathetic and mindly absent. I saw my 2 year old niece open packages and having fun dancing around. Im thankful for that memory. Sadly i won't see her grow up to a beautiful and kindhearted person that she will surely be.

I can relate to that.
My own 2 nieces dont know anything about my situation the rest of my family do know whats coming.

But i still think that will be ok after i have gone to the other side.

 

[Shero]

Yeah, i was purposefully mostly absent, so she won't really miss me. She is also very young, that is reassuring.

 

[Berlin76]

Yeah, i was purposefully mostly absent, so she won't really miss me. She is also very young, that is reassuring.

Same here. With the youngest i hardly have a relationship sort of speaking.

Also because the years she grew up I was totally in psychosis because of trauma and in therapy that did not work.

 

[Gardener59]

I really despise the holidays...at least the commercial side of it all. None of my family likes the direction my life is taking but I sure would hate to ruin Christmas for my bf. He loves the holidays.