Story Someone Committed CBT in my University and the different reactions surprised me.

[UnnervedCompany]

As the title says someone in my uni committed CBT hopefully he found peace. He lived in a residency near or the same building as mine. I did not know him at all yet I felt hurt regarding the news and I barely could function the entire day when I learned of it. Even my mom felt extremely saddened about it even though she did not know the person nor did I. My friend did know him and she was devastated. I am just surprised by what a family member told me. That same family member attempted CBT years ago and they basically said I should not care and just to focus on my work since I still have 1 more exam on Monday. The family member said "Even I attempted CBT so just stop caring and go study." I am just surprised that someone can feel that way regarding such an unfair death. I know it is weird for someone to call CBT is unfair but I kind of is. Life just treats you so unfortunately that you cannot continue going forward even if it can be considered as something done by a person's own will. The incident did not give me a new perspective regarding CBT but it did show me some people's view of it. Some people just do not care which is just depressing.

 

[ocdsucks]

As the title says someone in my uni committed CBT hopefully he found peace. He lived in a residency near or the same building as mine. I did not know him at all yet I felt hurt regarding the news and I barely could function the entire day when I learned of it. Even my mom felt extremely saddened about it even though she did not know the person nor did I. My friend did know him and she was devastated. I am just surprised by what a family member told me. That same family member attempted CBT years ago and they basically said I should not care and just to focus on my work since I still have 1 more exam on Monday. The family member said "Even I attempted CBT so just stop caring and go study." I am just surprised that someone can feel that way regarding such an unfair death. I know it is weird for someone to call CBT is unfair but I kind of is. Life just treats you so unfortunately that you cannot continue going forward even if it can be considered as something done by a person's own will. The incident did not give me a new perspective regarding CBT but it did show me some people's view of it. Some people just do not care which is just depressing.

That is so shit that someone would say that about someone else dying. It sounds like a distressing situation and I hope you and your friend who knew him are doing ok.

 

[Sleeper System]

Related, "Suicide Contagion" is a real thing. It's the reason governing bodies do their best to not report on suicide. Going as far as convincing loved ones that they shouldn't disclose the actual reason of death to the media. Suicide effects everyone around it and has been shown to cause depression. It kind of breaks or cracks the exterior shell that most people live under. Reality check at It's core. Causes people to question their own existence. Very dangerous.

Your relative is speaking in your best interest. You're attempting to interpret their words without context. If he tried to ctb then he knows deeply the compulsion that is ctb. I think that person is trying to steer you away from having such a traumatizing situation effect you to the point that you forget your purpose in school. That family member just has poor communication skills.

What they probably meant to say is that you can't let that bug infect you and fester because no good will come of it. Instead focus on your own situation because one of the ways to combat ctb is to focus on something and keep busy. Such that you don't even have time to contemplate ctb.

 

[UnnervedCompany]

Related, "Suicide Contagion" is a real thing. It's the reason governing bodies do their best to not report on suicide. Going as far as convincing loved ones that they shouldn't disclose the actual reason of death to the media. Suicide effects everyone around it and has been shown to cause depression. It kind of breaks or cracks the exterior shell that most people live under. Reality check at It's core. Causes people to question their own existence. Very dangerous.

Your relative is speaking in your best interest. You're attempting to interpret their words without context. If he tried to ctb then he knows deeply the compulsion that is ctb. I think that person is trying to steer you away from having such a traumatizing situation effect you to the point that you forget your purpose in school. That family member just has poor communication skills.

What they probably meant to say is that you can't let that bug infect you and fester because no good will come of it. Instead focus on your own situation because one of the ways to combat ctb is to focus on something and keep busy. Such that you don't even have time to contemplate ctb.

I know he meant the best for me and I know he is shitty at communicating. I have many arguments regarding his communication skills and how what he says never means what he is thinking it means. It just felt like he did not care at all or did not want me to care.

 

[Sleeper System]

In order for him to communicate what he means in this situation he would have to allow himself to be in his feels and it's difficult for guys to do that. He would have to talk to you about his life experience and his beliefs and doubts. Believe it or not even having a discussion like that is risking depression even though the intention is to combat it. It's very scary how infectious it can be. It has to be handled carefully and take into account the disposition of the person. He might be saying the least to keep from saying the most. and hope you can read between the lines or just do what he says without thinking too much about it. Unless you're a real life diagnosed psychopath /Sociopath, all humans have a similar reaction to most things IE death. Even if they don't show it. Internally, you can't suppress it like you do externally.

 

[destinationlosangel]

you would expect that someone who was once on the verge of cbting himself would be more empathetic.

 

[Sleeper System]

you would expect that someone who was once on the verge of cbting himself would be more empathetic.

Showing empathy doesn't align with his agenda. He is attempting to convey that his main concern is not the person who forfeited their life but making sure the person who he cares about isn't effect by the situation. His delivery is the only issue. It leaves too much space for people who can't read between the lines to misinterpret him.

 

[LostLily]

Some people are just cold about other people. My dad got angry because I was late coming home one day, I was late because there was a medical emergency at a bus stop, and the bus driver didn't leave until the EMT arrived. He said that the bus driver shouldn't have even cared and continued driving.

 

[UnnervedCompany]

Showing empathy doesn't align with his agenda. He is attempting to convey that his main concern is not the person who forfeited their life but making sure the person who he cares about isn't effect by the situation. His delivery is the only issue. It leaves too much space for people who can't read between the lines to misinterpret him.

I get everything you are saying now I feel bad for not understanding him better. It's kind of insane that everything you are saying is exactly what his mother told me just I found it difficult for her to constantly give him excuses for what he does. I still feel he should have been more empathetic or understanding but I understand now everything he said and what it meant. Thank you for the clarity you gave me.

 

[Edu Ardanuy]

Some people are just cold about other people. My dad got angry because I was late coming home one day, I was late because there was a medical emergency at a bus stop, and the bus driver didn't leave until the EMT arrived. He said that the bus driver shouldn't have even cared and continued driving.

Yup, so true.