Somebody help me help another person with their toxic relationship

[K9TOOTH]

I have a friend who's in a rough one with his girlfriend She lies, cheats, backstabs, sets him up for embarrassment and I've talked to him so many times about her. So many I think that's what most of his suicide attempts are about but that part I'm unsure of. It's stressing and overwhelming. He won't leave her and he's been with her for year. His relationship with her is starting to make me frustrated and not of jealousy. I just fucking hate her, I hate whenever he tells me about her or comes to vent me about her cause every time he tells me about her it's always something negative. He says that it's the longest relationship he's had which my father who has a toxic relationship with my mother says the same thing. Wonderful. I've tried to help him with all his issues and it aches me whenever he goes back to the mental hospital. It's like a pain in my chest that has me hyper vigilant 24/7. Every attempt he'll fail and go back to the mental hospital. It's starting to tick me off and I don't wanna get mad at a boy who clearly desires to be loved. I'm not mad at him for that, I'd be patient with him and have but he'll take the simplest fucking things and turns them into into big negative things. An example is I didn't have Wi-Fi so he texts me "You don't love me, do you? As if we don't talk every day, as if I don't let him vent to me, as if I haven't been trying to help him, as if he doesn't literally claim I treat him better than his girl. Plus his girls a narcissist bitch, I'd blow that brainless skull of hers across my walls if it wouldn't hurt his feelings.

Sorry if I'm getting carried away and this paragraph seems so disorganized. I never want him to know how It's really making me feel because it's starting to make me upset knowing I'm probably not doing good enough to help him. There's a part of me that wish I didn't care for him so much but he can't even see that I care for him. I relapsed cause he told me he took all his meds today. I've tried so hard for both those things not to happen.

TLDR; I care for him, his girl doesn't, he can't see I care for him and I need some help.

Every attempt he'll fail and go back to the mental hospital. It's starting to tick me off

Woah holy shit I worded this part wrong. His relationship with his gf and not AT LEAST trying to improve it ticks me off, someone being put in a mental hospital because they really need the help would never tick me off.

 

[Little_Suzy]

Your friend is toxic, possibly codependent, and Cluster B.

If they continue to attempt suicide and spend time in psychiatric facilities, it is up to them to work on their recovery.

Stop blaming "the girlfriend" for your friend's mental illness. You're also toxic!

 

[jiaaa_02]

Hi dear, you may need to put up boundaries for yourself. It doesn't seem like a healthy situation to be so closely interfacing with. Try not to be the emotional punching bag because he won't see logic at the moment and help him practically. I understand it's a difficult decision because he is a friend but I think there is a clear need to set some distance for your own sake.

 

[K9TOOTH]

Your friend is toxic, possibly codependent, and Cluster B.

If they continue to attempt suicide and spend time in psychiatric facilities, it is up to them to work on their recovery.

Stop blaming "the girlfriend" for your friend's mental illness. You're also toxic!

Yeah I'm sorry about that, it's getting hard to regulate my emotions cause I'm so stressed. I do appreciate the response and you calling me out for that though.

 

[dogteeth]

please dont blame urself, you are trying your best to help and thats all anyone can ask for, you can only do so much for someone that doesnt want to help themself unfortunately :( ive been in this situation before too and i really hope things get better for you. also im shook at how similar our names are i had to do a double take haha

 

[K9TOOTH]

Your friend is toxic, possibly codependent, and Cluster B.

If they continue to attempt suicide and spend time in psychiatric facilities, it is up to them to work on their recovery.

Stop blaming "the girlfriend" for your friend's mental illness. You're also toxic!

Oh god, I've read this over and over again and I believe he likely has borderline personality and either I or his girlfriend are his "favorite person." I'm already diagnosed with major depressive disorder so I don't think I'm in the right mind to handle any of this.

Also the girls still toxic? I'm not understanding if you're trying to direct all the blame on my friend even though yeah I agree partial part of the toxicity is certainly his fault and you've made me recognize that. She has cheated on and embarrassed him purposefully. I don't think that's a sign of a non-toxic person. Not trying to start an argument, I just don't believe the toxicity of the relationship can be shifted to one party.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

If a friendship causes you so much pain, maybe it's better for you to step away.
Your friend won't leave his girlfriend despite what she's been putting him through. Could very well be because he has a mental illness, sounds borderliney to me.

But whatever it may be, you are getting dragged down under as well

The only advice I can give you is, think carefully if this friendship is worth your sanity.