Resource Some Stoic support for the fear of dying alone

[GoodPersonEffed]

Dying well was important to the Stoics. So important, they would not judge someone until they'd died, because if one faced death well when it came, having done so made up for a multitude of weaknesses and faults in life. Even the weakest person could show a surprising and unprecedented strength when facing death.

For those who are afraid of dying alone, I thought the following quote might be helpful, but don't take the last sentence as an admonishment. After the quote, I'll add a kinder and more helpful perspective, one that even aligns with Stoic philosophy if you're a purist.


What multitudes doomed to death will follow you, what multitudes will accompany you! You would feel more brave, I suppose, if many thousands were to die with you; and yet there are many thousands, both humans and animals, who at this very moment, while you are irresolute about death, are breathing their last in their various ways.

Seneca, Epistles 77.13


While you are dying, many others are dying at the same time. You are not entirely alone. There will be at that moment countless others who are frightened, uncertain, hopeless, relieved, ready -- such a broad spectrum of ways one can feel about death when it comes! You can draw on that which you need, because surely at least one person also dying at that moment is experiencing certainty, calm, determination, peace, or whatever state you desire for yourself. A Stoic would say that if they as a fellow human are capable of that, the possibility is also within you, for we all are capable of the best and the worst of human behaviors.

You can imagine that person -- who surely feels as you desire, who surely exists, and may even be dying at the same moment as you -- is right there with you, bringing all the comfort, companionship, and qualities that you seek.






(Such a meditation, btw, also fits within the Stoic framework, similar to how the meditation to envision the ideal wise man, who was not real, but yet possible, because they believed all humans had the capability for all things. No perfectly wise and infallible human existed any more than a perfectly evil human, only that we each have the potential for a measure of every human quality.)

 

[lululoo]

Thank you for sharing this. It helps.

 

[Notabadguy]

Stoics defended suicide as a possible mean to get away when life become miserable, but Seneca at least also said that sometimes we must keep alive because we're social beings and we have social duties that sometimes are not compatible with dissapearing. You must decide by yourself.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Stoics defended suicide as a possible mean to get away when life become miserable, but Seneca at least also said that sometimes we must keep alive because we're social beings and we have social duties that sometimes are not compatible with dissapearing. You must decide by yourself.

All of what you said is true. However, I find it to be derailing. Here's why:

I offered the OP as support for folks who are afraid to ctb alone, but your comment throws a wrench in the spokes of that wheel just as it may finally be moving forward.

That's not to say the thread is not open for discussion or even argument, however, I find your comment didn't argue against or engage with the OP, but took a different track. It feels like an admonishment, either against ctb'ing or against getting help in deciding, the latter of which was not suggested in the OP at all. In short, it feels like you made a strawman argument, and made someone wrong who was never even here.

But perhaps I misunderstood your intention. If that is so, would you be willing to clarify how your comment was relevant to the OP?

 

[Notabadguy]

Yes, it's a bit derailing. But it was not an admonishment, in fact I want to CTB, despite my loving parents and sister being alive. Besides, my English is limitated, so I usually go straight to the point that I try to make. I read Stoics almost everyday for three years (just a little), so it's an interesting topic to me. I was only trying to say that Stoics, regardless viewing suicide as an option, don't feel is always right.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Yes that is true, they don't. In fact I believe it was Seneca who was a strong proponent of suicide for the right reasons but elected to not do so when he wanted to because of the Stoic emphasis on one's responsibilities to others, which he thought outweighed his reasons to suicide.

Here's a link to another thread that discusses the Stoic view on when suicide is a rational option, and may in some cases even be encouraged (post 18 lists the five reasons for withdrawing the party of life):

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/a-stoic-perspective-on-impulse-and-courage-in-ctb.32674/

There was a pretty good discussion on that thread for a while. If you read it and feel motivated to comment and keep it going, that would be great.