Some people just dont get better?

[whyidon'tknow]

I've been told it's all in the mind, everything we need to fix ourselves is already inside of us.

But what if I'm just tired?
What if I don't want to try?
What if I just want to give up leave?

That's my problem, something I've come to truly appreciate.

I don't want to get better.

I don't want to partake in this system. I don't wanna play by all these stupid and often contrary social rules. I don't wanna spend most of my life working for just enough to survive and then being told "you got it pretty good". I don't wanna have to make friends when the reality is friends can just leave at any moment and the illusion is broken.

I don't want to be taken advantage of, judged, misunderstood, assumed, yelled at, and left.

I'm brought into this world without permission so why can't I leave?

I used to think I would stay just so I don't hurt people. At this point too many of the people I stayed for have left me so what's even the point of following that logic?


Don't even get me started on the solution of "oh just talk to someone, they can help" it's complete bullshit. I don't think I can truly trust anyone anymore.


Anyways rant over, I'm sure you guys can relate.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I do relate and your feelings are valid. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be better. There's a lot of indoctrination during childhood that is presented in movies and TV shows which state things like "always keep on fighting" and "never give up" but, honestly, there is nothing wrong in giving up. We all have to die in the end anyway so what's the point in continuing this life if we don't want to? I don't see a point. It isn't cowardly or weak to give up because life isn't easy in the first place. It's difficult, extremely difficult

 

[Forever Sleep]

I completely agree with you. Nothing is likely to get better unless the person truly wants it to. So much so, that they're willing to put in enormous amounts of effort and put themselves in challenging situations which may even make them feel worse in the short term. All in the faint hope of achieving longer term ease. Some may still see the value in doing that and- good luck to them but, not all of us will.

Maybe some of us could improve our situations. I don't think it's impossible. Neither though do I think we are all 100% fixable though. We are mortal biological entities that degrade over time. We live in societies that aren't perfect and require money to get by in. A whole load of our problems are only partly solveable.

Someone injured in an accident that loses a limb can't grow it back. Maybe they can get a very good prosthetic but it may still limit them from what they were able to or hoped to do. Maybe they'll be happy with that but, maybe they won't. How is it reasonable to insist they 'should' be ok with what they now have?

No one ought to be told they 'should' be ok with what they have. That they should fight to keep it or that they should be grateful for it. Fine if people genuinely feel those things but ultimately, you shouldn't force life with all its challenges on a sentient being and tell them how to feel about it. Ultimately- you can't. We feel what we feel. Some people simply feel so unhappy and so tired and have already experienced so much that they simply don't want to experience any more.

 

[dragonofenvy]

A lot of people I have met seem to not be able to accept the fact that some people are treated unfairly. Some people are abused as kids. Some people are born with a disability or some perceived flaw that makes others thing it's acceptable to treat them poorly. Some people are unfortunate that their life is good, but yet, they still feel miserable when they think they shouldn't. Perhaps they simply haven't yet identified the problem?

The people I mentioned who have a hard time comprehending this fact aren't like you and I. They haven't experienced anything close to what we have and likely never will. People seem to have the idea that life is like a movie or story. Where the characters all go through a vicious struggle but in the end if all they do is keep persevering they will get through it.

That worked for them. Because it worked for them, they naively think it works for everyone else. Some people try to persevere, but there's far too much bullshit to wade through. Eventually, your brain realizes that it isn't worth the effort. Trying and failing over and over again makes it worse. That's why your brain tells you to stop. Because it works.

And yet, we don't have the right to take agency of our own lives and choose to give up. We're forced to keep going no matter how much pain it causes. A cog in the machine, because that's all they think we are no matter how good their intentions may seem. It's hard for me to feel grateful for what I have when I feel miserable, for example. Sure, I'm well aware that 99.99% of human history, and a good 85% or so people (and this is being generous, it's probably higher) in the world right now have it worse than me. Does that change the fact that I feel miserable? No. It's only a way to try to brush aside how you and I feel. Guilt tripping won't make us feel better. I don't know why people do it.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I've been told it's all in the mind, everything we need to fix ourselves is already inside of us.

But what if I'm just tired?
What if I don't want to try?
What if I just want to give up leave?

That's my problem, something I've come to truly appreciate.

I don't want to get better.

I don't want to partake in this system. I don't wanna play by all these stupid and often contrary social rules. I don't wanna spend most of my life working for just enough to survive and then being told "you got it pretty good". I don't wanna have to make friends when the reality is friends can just leave at any moment and the illusion is broken.

I don't want to be taken advantage of, judged, misunderstood, assumed, yelled at, and left.

I'm brought into this world without permission so why can't I leave?

I used to think I would stay just so I don't hurt people. At this point too many of the people I stayed for have left me so what's even the point of following that logic?


Don't even get me started on the solution of "oh just talk to someone, they can help" it's complete bullshit. I don't think I can truly trust anyone anymore.


Anyways rant over, I'm sure you guys can relate.

I love everything you have said. That is why I your post. Not because everything you have gone through.
I feel exactly the same. This isn't worth it. We should be allowed to skip to the end.

 

[floop]

i completely agree with everything you said. i think it's so toxic to have the "everyone can be saved" mindset, and that it is genuinely not true. sure, i'm know some people can be helped, absolutely. however, i see that as an incredibly personal decision that you should have to completely consent to. i have been in extensive therapy and have been on dozens of medications over the years, since 2020 i have had therapy at least once a week and i have found no results. i am definitely not bashing it by saying "it doesn't work at all," some people can 100% better from it, and there's even been personal moments where it has helped me find a little comfort albeit very temporarily. in my experience however it is literally only treating the symptoms, not the cause/source of the pain and suffering, meaning it's always still there. in my honest opinion, i believe we should have 100% autonomy over our life decisions, including if we find suicide to be an acceptable answer/solution. thank you for making this post <3

 

[Xabin]

Me han dicho que todo está en la mente, que todo lo que necesitamos para arreglarnos ya está dentro de nosotros.

¿Pero qué pasa si simplemente estoy cansado?
¿Qué pasa si no quiero intentarlo?
¿Qué pasa si simplemente quiero renunciar a la licencia?

Ése es mi problema, algo que he llegado a apreciar verdaderamente.

No quiero mejorar.

No quiero participar en este sistema. No quiero jugar con todas estas reglas sociales estúpidas y a menudo contrarias. No quiero pasar la mayor parte de mi vida trabajando para ganar lo suficiente para sobrevivir y que luego me digan "te va bastante bien". No quiero tener que hacer amigos cuando la realidad es que los amigos pueden irse en cualquier momento y la ilusión se rompe.

No quiero que se aprovechen de mí, que me juzguen, que me malinterpreten, que me den por sentado, que me griten y que me abandonen.

Me trajeron a este mundo sin permiso. ¿Por qué no puedo irme?

Solía pensar que me quedaría solo para no lastimar a la gente. A estas alturas, demasiadas personas por las que me quedé me han abandonado, así que ¿qué sentido tiene seguir esa lógica?


Ni me hagas hablar de la solución de "simplemente habla con alguien, te puede ayudar", es una completa tontería. Creo que ya no puedo confiar realmente en nadie.


De todos modos, se acabó el discurso, estoy seguro de que pueden identificarse.

Yo totalmente identificado. Estoy asta los.........de la gente que me dice que debería tener más voluntad. Cuando ya estoy muy cabreado de su mierda de psicología positiva y les explico lo que me pasó se quedan en blanco sin saber que decir porque sencillamente no han pasado por algo así, porque se les queda demasiado grande y se les cambia la cara. Empiezan a disculparse por todas las tonterías que te han querido decir. Estoy realmente arto de que me digan que cuando algo malo te pasa en la vida es por algo y te ayuda a crecer como persona. Lo que me hicieron a mí sencillamente fue una cabronada que solo me sirvió para destrozarme la vida y punto. Me suelo cabrear mucho con esas frases de aceptación...... "Tienes que jugar en la vida con las cartas que te han tocado tener". Está frase me pone de los nervios !!! Yo no es que tenga una mala mano de cartas es que a mí ni me repartieron esa mano. Y porque no puedes sencillamente elegir que mis cartas son tan sumamente jodidas que quiiero dejar de jugar. Un abrazo.

 

[ineed2die]

Some people can't get better.
As in there is zero chance, zero hope, zero possibility things noticeably improve for them.

You can only become who you always were.

 

[brittlemoth]

I've been told it's all in the mind, everything we need to fix ourselves is already inside of us.

But what if I'm just tired?
What if I don't want to try?
What if I just want to give up leave?

That's my problem, something I've come to truly appreciate.

I don't want to get better.

I don't want to partake in this system. I don't wanna play by all these stupid and often contrary social rules. I don't wanna spend most of my life working for just enough to survive and then being told "you got it pretty good". I don't wanna have to make friends when the reality is friends can just leave at any moment and the illusion is broken.

I don't want to be taken advantage of, judged, misunderstood, assumed, yelled at, and left.

I'm brought into this world without permission so why can't I leave?

I used to think I would stay just so I don't hurt people. At this point too many of the people I stayed for have left me so what's even the point of following that logic?


Don't even get me started on the solution of "oh just talk to someone, they can help" it's complete bullshit. I don't think I can truly trust anyone anymore.


Anyways rant over, I'm sure you guys can relate.

I agree with everything you said, and relate to it on a personal level. Thank you for sharing, I feel less alone in my suffering.

 

[ineed2die]

I agree with everything you said, and relate to it on a personal level. Thank you for sharing, I feel less alone in my suffering.

You're welcome..