Venting Some feelings on existential dread

[Darkfantasy]

I feel like life is pointless. I've tried finding a point, or some sort of deeper meaning, but that seems impossible. Just wondering if anyone can relate because it seems nobody else cares. I know people have existential crisis, but I feel alone with my existential dread. I feel it's a lot worse, or extreme compared to others. Like it drives me to want to die. It's like there's no meaning, hope, reason to live. Where is the light or the divine importance I'm supposed to have according to non-depressed people. I wish there was a meaning, light, or deeper reason because depression is super fucking hard. And so I wish I had something to look forward to or believe so I can get through it. Can anyone relate?

 

[pole]

I feel like life is pointless. I've tried finding a point, or some sort of deeper meaning, but that seems impossible. Just wondering if anyone can relate because it seems nobody else cares. I know people have existential crisis, but I feel alone with my existential dread. I feel it's a lot worse, or extreme compared to others. Like it drives me to want to die. It's like there's no meaning, hope, reason to live. Where is the light or the divine importance I'm supposed to have according to non-depressed people. I wish there was a meaning, light, or deeper reason because depression is super fucking hard. And so I wish I had something to look forward to or believe so I can get through it. Can anyone relate?

i kind of can. i literally dont know wanna do in my life at 19 right now. yes i wanna be a lawyer, yes i wanna go to school, this and other things.

but i literally just cant. my mental state is screwed. it ruins my energy and drive to literally do any of these things or to think straight for that matter.

iv been trying to find hope, to find a turning point, something that can show me that maybe things might turn around and get better.

but i keep getting the same outcome over and over and over again; failure and sadness. its like even when i wanna get better, im stuck and i cant.
i just cant see myself being happy in the future. heck, i dont wanna wait and live through my mid 20s and WAIT for something great to happen to me.

Its hard to think straight, to envision thing, to see clearly, when you're thoughts and mind as a whole are just so foggy and negative because of this depression and sadness.

 

[HGL91]

I just got out of this existential dread, recently, kind of. I still experience it some days but I'm going back to college so I feel motivated to at least attempt to add meaning to my life and contribute to society again in some way.

 

[GreyMonkey]

I feel like life is pointless. I've tried finding a point, or some sort of deeper meaning, but that seems impossible. Just wondering if anyone can relate because it seems nobody else cares. I know people have existential crisis, but I feel alone with my existential dread. I feel it's a lot worse, or extreme compared to others. Like it drives me to want to die. It's like there's no meaning, hope, reason to live. Where is the light or the divine importance I'm supposed to have according to non-depressed people. I wish there was a meaning, light, or deeper reason because depression is super fucking hard. And so I wish I had something to look forward to or believe so I can get through it. Can anyone relate?

Yes I understand this. And when in it everything seems so pointless. I can't even have a conversation with others because it just seems completely irrelevant and meaningless. I can't imagine what I might want to do, let alone how... and yes it leads to the desire to die because it's terrifying to feel no point to anything.

 

[Darkfantasy]

Yes I understand this. And when in it everything seems so pointless. I can't even have a conversation with others because it just seems completely irrelevant and meaningless. I can't imagine what I might want to do, let alone how... and yes it leads to the desire to die because it's terrifying to feel no point to anything.

Seriously. I just want some type of meaning you know? Something tangible. So I can combat the extreme emotional pain of suicidal feelings. It just shows me that life is suffering and awful. I don't want to believe that but what else can I believe at this point.

i kind of can. i literally dont know wanna do in my life at 19 right now. yes i wanna be a lawyer, yes i wanna go to school, this and other things.

but i literally just cant. my mental state is screwed. it ruins my energy and drive to literally do any of these things or to think straight for that matter.

iv been trying to find hope, to find a turning point, something that can show me that maybe things might turn around and get better.

but i keep getting the same outcome over and over and over again; failure and sadness. its like even when i wanna get better, im stuck and i cant.
i just cant see myself being happy in the future. heck, i dont wanna wait and live through my mid 20s and WAIT for something great to happen to me.

Its hard to think straight, to envision thing, to see clearly, when you're thoughts and mind as a whole are just so foggy and negative because of this depression and sadness.

Same here dude. Same here

I just got out of this existential dread, recently, kind of. I still experience it some days but I'm going back to college so I feel motivated to at least attempt to add meaning to my life and contribute to society again in some way.

That's good hopefully you get there

 

[Lookingforabus]

I feel like life is pointless. I've tried finding a point, or some sort of deeper meaning, but that seems impossible. Just wondering if anyone can relate because it seems nobody else cares. I know people have existential crisis, but I feel alone with my existential dread. I feel it's a lot worse, or extreme compared to others. Like it drives me to want to die. It's like there's no meaning, hope, reason to live. Where is the light or the divine importance I'm supposed to have according to non-depressed people. I wish there was a meaning, light, or deeper reason because depression is super fucking hard. And so I wish I had something to look forward to or believe so I can get through it. Can anyone relate?

Pretty much everyone can relate, if it helps. The power of religion (and collectivist political ideologies) is exactly that they provide a deeper meaning an importance to our lives that otherwise doesn't exist. There's a well documented correlation between a decrease in religiousness or social ties and increased degrees of unhappiness, depression and suicide.

Seriously. I just want some type of meaning you know? Something tangible. So I can combat the extreme emotional pain of suicidal feelings. It just shows me that life is suffering and awful. I don't want to believe that but what else can I believe at this point.

I basically spent decades living for others - friends, family, the very rare people in life I've met who are actually good, and worth a damn. It's run its course now, but it kept me alive for a long while... might help you, until it doesn't.

 

[HGL91]

@Lookingforabus So true. Tons of studies show that religious people often live longer, happier, and healthier lives.

It makes sense because if you feel like crap but believe you have a purpose in life and, that you'll be rewarded with good things and eventually, Heaven, when you follow the rules, you're more likely to take life seriously, work hard to create a happy life, and reciprocate kindness to others.

 

[Laststop]

When I was growing up the adults in my life constantly told me I was being immature when I went on about my dreams. When I was young I had all kinds of wild, but not impossible, dreams about what I was going to do. I either never did them, or failed/quit. Mostly over time, somewhere, I just gave up. Not really in a deliberate and conscious manner. Over this time I also lost my sense of meaning for life. After a while it was all about just having a paycheck to pay the bills, and pay for the things I distracted myself with. So, when I was let go without warning recently, I lost everything in my life. Because having that paycheck afforded me the only thing keeping me going, which was to live in my own mind, and not face the fact that I'm just killing time until the end. And now I look back and see not only are my dreams gone, but all the things that use to give lift under my wings. My ideals, and the feeling that everything I believed in was a real force powering my life have vanished. You know, I use to think it was just some Hollywood joke, or cliche, when someone would say that life doesn't have any meaning for them anymore. Now, here I am, and I know that it's a real thing.

 

[Darkfantasy]

When I was growing up the adults in my life constantly told me I was being immature when I went on about my dreams. When I was young I had all kinds of wild, but not impossible, dreams about what I was going to do. I either never did them, or failed/quit. Mostly over time, somewhere, I just gave up. Not really in a deliberate and conscious manner. Over this time I also lost my sense of meaning for life. After a while it was all about just having a paycheck to pay the bills, and pay for the things I distracted myself with. So, when I was let go without warning recently, I lost everything in my life. Because having that paycheck afforded me the only thing keeping me going, which was to live in my own mind, and not face the fact that I'm just killing time until the end. And now I look back and see not only are my dreams gone, but all the things that use to give lift under my wings. My ideals, and the feeling that everything I believed in was a real force powering my life have vanished. You know, I use to think it was just some Hollywood joke, or cliche, when someone would say that life doesn't have any meaning for them anymore. Now, here I am, and I know that it's a real thing.

Yeah I agree )): it's being alive without feeling alive. One of the worst and scariest shit. Ugh I hate life