Some concerns about a plan involving abruptly going out of state

[melb3mel]

I don't think I'm breaking any rules by asking this. Right now, I'm heavily considering going out of state to commit suicide. I currently live with my parents and would be taking a train a few states up. I can't think of a good reason to travel, so I'd likely be leaving without telling them to avoid suspicion and scrutiny. That being said, once I do leave, they will almost certainly be very worried. This is where my confidence in this path starts to fall apart. I'm worried about police or something being sent to look for me. On one hand, I'm a legal adult in the US and have the right to get up and leave if I feel like it, but on the other, if my sisters were to tell police they were worried I was going to hurt myself, would that prompt some kind of intervention or wellness check? Would they be taken seriously or just brushed off since I'm an adult? My family is definitely aware that I haven't been in the best place mentally speaking for the past few years, but they also don't have a diagnosis to back up their claims. I'm trying to attract as little attention as possible to myself, and I have no idea if I'm getting worried over nothing here. The last thing I'd want to deal with is police, so any insight on this would be nice. Attempting to google what would happen leads to a lot of anecdotes and conflicting information.

As to why I'm looking into going out of state to die, I don't want my parents to have to deal with finding my body and I don't want for them to have to deal with any news reports or anything. The former is really my main concern, I think it will be easier for them to process my death if it's something that happens out of the house, if that makes sense.

Is going out of state a bad idea?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

The thing about wellness checks is that anyone can pretty much phone in a concern to the police and they're pretty much obligated to check it out, but the local LE is really limited to where you live, or maybe a friend's location in the area if provided to them. You really need to be missing for so long before a full-out search is started, and even then, I'm not sure how all-out it would be. If you're a minor they go all-out. Like you said, adults can go as they want. If your family doesn't know where you are going, I don't see how that information could easily be found. You could have went in any direction, anywhere in the country. I suppose they could check bus terminals and train stations and airports. They could run your credit cards and see if you made any purchases. Paying with cash for the train might be best. You're body will have to be brought back, more than likely, anyway. That will cost something, if that is a concern.

It's really not that easy to find someone who doesn't leave a trail. Children running away from home = a big deal. Adults running away from home = not so much.

 

[SamTam33]

I'd start laying the groundwork for me leaving by mentioning wanting a new scene or wanting to see a particular attraction in a random state.

Leave my pc open to a page about national parks (or anything).

Walk by their door as I pretend to talk to someone about going to Vegas.

Nothing overboard. Once or twice a week, allude to a state in the opposite direction of where you want to go.

Then I'd tell them I'm leaving earlier than you actually plan just to gauge their reaction.

Might be a hassle to create a setup but you seem genuinely concerned about their reaction so it might be worth it to get an idea of how it'd play out with them.

 

[October112021]

Are you looking for a partner?

 

[brdhndz]

I guess it depends on how attentive your family is, but if you need some excuses you could always say you're helping a friend move, going to a concert, or even say you're going to be housesitting, staying with a friend, or going camping etc. If you have an excuse for why you won't be home for a few days, you wouldn't even necessarily have to let them know you're going out of state. You could pretend to be just a town over or something.

I'd mention it maybe a week or a few days in advance, long enough beforehand that it won't give them too much time to check details or catch you in a lie, but also long enough that it doesn't seem like a total last-minute and impulsive plan.

 

[Hercules]

It would be better to tell your family that you are leaving for a few days. You could tell them that you are going to visit a friend or going on a weekend trip somewhere. If you suddenly disappear one day and no one knows where you are, and you don't answer your phone, then they will be worried and will eventually call the police when they can't find you.

Like you said, you are an adult, and adults can come and go as they please. Generally the police don't start searching for a missing adult for at least 24 hours. They would only start searching for a missing adult right away, if they thought that you were in immediate danger. If your family called the police and reported you missing, a lot would depend on exactly what they told the police. If they told the police that they were worried about you, because you didn't answer your phone, or you didn't show up for dinner, the police wouldn't do much. They might check with a couple of your friends or the neighbors to see if you went there, but they wouldn't start a search, because they wouldn't have any reason to believe that anything bad had happened to you.

If your family told them that you have been very depressed lately and that you suddenly disappeared, and they believed you went somewhere to kill yourself, then the police would be obligated to look for you and try to stop you. The police don't need a medical diagnosis in order to start looking for you. They wouldn't have access to your medical records anyways. They would just take your family's word for it.

 

[makethepainstop]

I don't think I'm breaking any rules by asking this. Right now, I'm heavily considering going out of state to commit suicide. I currently live with my parents and would be taking a train a few states up. I can't think of a good reason to travel, so I'd likely be leaving without telling them to avoid suspicion and scrutiny. That being said, once I do leave, they will almost certainly be very worried. This is where my confidence in this path starts to fall apart. I'm worried about police or something being sent to look for me. On one hand, I'm a legal adult in the US and have the right to get up and leave if I feel like it, but on the other, if my sisters were to tell police they were worried I was going to hurt myself, would that prompt some kind of intervention or wellness check? Would they be taken seriously or just brushed off since I'm an adult? My family is definitely aware that I haven't been in the best place mentally speaking for the past few years, but they also don't have a diagnosis to back up their claims. I'm trying to attract as little attention as possible to myself, and I have no idea if I'm getting worried over nothing here. The last thing I'd want to deal with is police, so any insight on this would be nice. Attempting to google what would happen leads to a lot of anecdotes and conflicting information.

As to why I'm looking into going out of state to die, I don't want my parents to have to deal with finding my body and I don't want for them to have to deal with any news reports or anything. The former is really my main concern, I think it will be easier for them to process my death if it's something that happens out of the house, if that makes sense.

Is going out of state a bad idea?

If they don't know exactly where your location is, it would be difficult to check on your welfare!

 

[Justnotme]

The situation is complicated, of course, but if your family can't find your body, then it can drive them crazy. Because they may think that you were taken into slavery, raped, dismembered and thrown into the river, for example, and many other terrible options may come to their mind.