Help Social outings while planning ctb?

[foxdie]

So a little about me. I've been planning my ctb for a few months, I put my life in a place where I could carry it out. I'm pretty isolated, I live alone and don't converse on social media that much. These past months I have really tried to pull away from people. I don't know, I guess I think if kill myself soon after I've seen them they'll blame themselves.

Now I think people are starting to notice how withdrawn I am. A few weeks ago went I saw a friend he casually mentioned suicide but not in relation to me. Anyways a couple people this week have reached out to see me and I can't really refuse without raising suspicion.

How do others deal with social outing while actively planning ctb? I only have to see one person tmr, maybe some kind a party on the weekend and then I'll go stay with a friend for a few days next week. How do I handle this? I can't slip up, I've come this far. What would you do?

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i would go to the social outings, and i would at least try to pretend that i'm enjoying myself somewhat. i would also feign interest whenever somebody talks to me, and make up an answer whenever they ask me a question.

 

[PJFord]

I don't know where you're located but here in the San Francisco Bay Area, we are still deep in lockdown with most businesses and activities shut down. (I won't get into my opinion about our failed ineffective politicians that are ruining our once beautiful state.) Beaches are often closed on weekends and residents are required to stay home and do nothing. I bring this up because life is very stressful now, so on rare occasions when I do interact with people, everyone talks about the anxiety. And not just COVID, but riots and looting due to racial injustice and an upcoming very contentious presidential election.

What I'm getting at is it is actually very easy for CTBers to slip under the radar of suspicion today given all that is going on. Even those not considering CTB are anxious and stressed. If people question you, just say you are bummed about the state of our world. I suspect people will agree and understand, and perhaps not think you planning to CTB, but just legitimately bummed about all that's going on.

This may not be as effective for social situations depending on where you live, but in San Francisco it sure does.

 

[foxdie]

I don't know where you're located but here in the San Francisco Bay Area, we are still deep in lockdown with most businesses and activities shut down. (I won't get into my opinion about our failed ineffective politicians that are ruining our once beautiful state.) Beaches are often closed on weekends and residents are required to stay home and do nothing. I bring this up because life is very stressful now, so on rare occasions when I do interact with people, everyone talks about the anxiety. And not just COVID, but riots and looting due to racial injustice and an upcoming very contentious presidential election.

What I'm getting at is it is actually very easy for CTBers to slip under the radar of suspicion today given all that is going on. Even those not considering CTB are anxious and stressed. If people question you, just say you are bummed about the state of our world. I suspect people will agree and understand, and perhaps not think you planning to CTB, but just legitimately bummed about all that's going on.

This may not be as effective for social situations depending on where you live, but in San Francisco it sure does.

I'm lucky to be in a country that has handled the spread of covid much better then the USA. My heart goes out to you, it's so sad seeing something that tragic that could've been prevented, ie all the deaths . That's true, I've been hiding behind covid fear this whole time but I'm not really scared in truth. And I can be a bad liar when I'm drunk. I just scared of a slip up.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

There are a few people who know of my attempt back in May. A very small subset of those people actually interact with me in person, and it just about never comes up. They don't ask if I'm planning again, or if I feel suicidal again. And I certainly don't offer it to them. Other than that, I try not to interact with others at all. The pandemic has offered me a good excuse. I have friends at work who are desperately trying to get me to come out with them. It's hard to keep saying "no" to them, but I just don't want to interact with anyone.

 

[foxdie]

There are a few people who know of my attempt back in May. A very small subset of those people actually interact with me in person, and it just about never comes up. They don't ask if I'm planning again, or if I feel suicidal again. And I certainly don't offer it to them. Other than that, I try not to interact with others at all. The pandemic has offered me a good excuse. I have friends at work who are desperately trying to get me to come out with them. It's hard to keep saying "no" to them, but I just don't want to interact with anyone.

I am the same. Except no one knows on my end. I'm sorry no one asks, that's a pain I'm afraid of feeling so that's why I'm hiding it.

 

[ManWithNoName]

This may not be as effective for social situations depending on where you live, but in San Francisco it sure does.

Not to make light of this thread, but the topic brought this Woody Allen scene to my mind:



It's a bit of a tricky question, because those you spend your last social moments with, even if they may not necessarily be the closest of friends, may be wondering why they did not sense any indicators that you were about to ctb. I say maybe because of the rampant narcissism many have today, so they may or may not be affected.

 

[foxdie]

Not to make light of this thread, but the topic brought this Woody Allen scene to my mind:



It's a bit of a tricky question, because those you spend your last social moments with, even if they may not necessarily be the closest of friends, may be wondering why they did not sense any indicators that you were about to ctb. I say maybe because of the rampant narcissism many have today, so they may or may not be affected.

No worries about a little light mon ami. That made me laugh rather then cry. If I was that women I might consider Friday night. Not with Woody Allen tho lol

 

[foxdie]

Thanks for everyone's feedback back but I think we can put a pin in this one. My friends did something weirdly hurtful that I don't want to get into. Nobody is suspicious so I'm over it. Anyways, I'm just going to back out of it all for now. I'm so done with this world.