
Soulless Angel
Did someone say Rum?
- Jul 6, 2020
- 1,272
SI posted this next sentence on facebook, I am angry, on rum and angry, I found a fb group to do with BPD, I posted, but it was decliend, so I posted again, yet again it was declined, I mailed admin to be told that my post wasn't relevant, yet it was? As others had posted similar and were accepted, I am genuinely reaching my end, every time I try and reach for recovery, I get knocked back, and reminded what a piece of shit I am. My recovery is less important then someone who's not coping due to covid,
I once joined a PRO CHOICE forum, off of Facebook, I felt accepted, I felt wanted, I made friends.
Informed I need to find FB groups and people of a similar mind, I do so, I join these groups, I read though, I find people in a similar place. I post in these groups, yet constantly my posts are declined,
I go back to the forum and I feel safe,
I soon realize, after seeing a selfie thread on FB, that FB is about how, OMG Im gorgeous but want to say how suicidal I am, here's my selfie, help me.
Now I have no issues with people who feel suicidal damn my heart goes out to them,
But I am starting to feel my name is associated with a black list, as every time I try and reach out for help on this media, i am blocked on every corner.
Yet I see people often mention their depression, and getting so much help.
I am, in some ways, a very private person, I don't feel the need to share memes every 5 mins in regards to my BPD, CPTSD, or other, Nor do I feel the need to share posts in regards to mental health,
But in doing so, am I back firing on myself, as I am not active, and actively seeking attention, am I just an attention seeker when I do?
I am not able to reach out on facebook when i struggle, as everyone seems to see it as a competition,
Yet the forum I am on empathize.. and understand, we connect.
I am seriously starting to realize the difference between mental health long term and mental health well being/situational,
I am prepared to accept a lot of friends dropping and hate for this, but I DGA
Either way I fucking love this forum, never fucking leave me, you keep me here alive today!
I once joined a PRO CHOICE forum, off of Facebook, I felt accepted, I felt wanted, I made friends.
Informed I need to find FB groups and people of a similar mind, I do so, I join these groups, I read though, I find people in a similar place. I post in these groups, yet constantly my posts are declined,
I go back to the forum and I feel safe,
I soon realize, after seeing a selfie thread on FB, that FB is about how, OMG Im gorgeous but want to say how suicidal I am, here's my selfie, help me.
Now I have no issues with people who feel suicidal damn my heart goes out to them,
But I am starting to feel my name is associated with a black list, as every time I try and reach out for help on this media, i am blocked on every corner.
Yet I see people often mention their depression, and getting so much help.
I am, in some ways, a very private person, I don't feel the need to share memes every 5 mins in regards to my BPD, CPTSD, or other, Nor do I feel the need to share posts in regards to mental health,
But in doing so, am I back firing on myself, as I am not active, and actively seeking attention, am I just an attention seeker when I do?
I am not able to reach out on facebook when i struggle, as everyone seems to see it as a competition,
Yet the forum I am on empathize.. and understand, we connect.
I am seriously starting to realize the difference between mental health long term and mental health well being/situational,
I am prepared to accept a lot of friends dropping and hate for this, but I DGA
Either way I fucking love this forum, never fucking leave me, you keep me here alive today!