Hello all-
I have dreadful, debilitating social anxiety, I am unable to leave my house, I can barely function to the capacity of "adult" that I should be right now. However, I am determined to heal.
My lovely partner has helped connect me with several group therapy opportunities (individual therapy was helpful for my suicidal ideation but worsened my agoraphobia significantly). This might be a silly ask, but I would really appreciate it if someone could walk me thru what to expect begining to end for a group therapy experience (zoom or in person) even the most basic parts. Do they expect you to make small talk if you get there early? Do I have to speak? Can I pass? Will people be looking at me or can I sit in the back and hide? The more know what to expect going in, the more capable I feel of attending. Right now I feel overwhelmed and unable to modulate that anxiety about an unknown environment. Even general ideas would help! Thank you so much, I wish you each the best in your own journeys.
Hi, I also have very debilitating SA. I am no longer home-bound but I still have a lot of trouble with the daily tasks of life. I go to individual therapy and attended group therapy specifically for SA.
1. Small talk --> if it's on Zoom, you can just mute yourself and hide your camera. You can always say that you werent ready to speak yet.
In person, I think the counselors will try to make conversation with you, usually basic things like how are you, how's school or work, what are you looking forward to, what did you like about the previous session. You don't have to respond, if they are aware that your SA is severe, they will just let it go after no responses. If they aren't already aware, they'll get the point if you seem nervous or anything. Everyone will be there because they either have SA or they treat SA, so that might relieve some of the performance anxiety. The counselors have probably met people who wouldn't talk the entire time, or who got up and left after being spoken to. They are open to that and just want to help you
2. Speaking --> you do not have to speak, but most likely they will highly encourage it. They may ask an open-ended question to the group and ask for responses ("what do you all think about this?"), sometimes if you seem like you're holding back, they may say something like "everydayIloveyou, anything on your mind?" If you seem clearly distressed they won't put you on the spot.
3. People looking at you --> yes, people will look at you when you speak, or if you start crying or something like that. But that's life, people will always glance at you. Sometimes they'll even stare. However, it's 99% likely that everyone else in the group is also concerned about whether you're looking at them and judging them. That might relieve some of the anxiety about it.
In the SA group I attended, it was very guided. I'm a student so it was usually focused on school situations. I really liked that it was very guided.
Usually we began in the Zoom waiting room, then our counselors reviewed the topics for the day. The topics were all CBT related. Then, we would discuss the topic and do some exercises. For example, we did the anxiety ladder and then shared what we marked as a "99% anxiety" and why. Usually enough people spoke up that the counselors rarely asked anyone to contribute. If someone who was usually talkative was quiet that day, the counselors might say, "so-and-so, any thoughts?" or something like that. Sometines the person would speak up, other times they'll just say no and we moved on.
We occassionally went into Zoom breakout rooms to discuss the topics in more detail. For example, we once got split into smaller groups to discuss assertiveness. Someone would share a story of when they weren't assertive, and the rest of the group would come up with possible responses that did not involve withdrawal, avoidance, or lashing out. e.g.: telling your boss that a comment they made had made you upset, rather than just quitting your job
I definitely recommend supplementing the group sessions with individual ones. It really helped me deal with my obsessive thoughts more responsibly. I often felt overwhelmed with the thoughts of being judged/criticized during group, and in my individual session I could cry about that and learn how to deal with it. I could also objectively measure my progress. For example, during my first group session, I began crying during introductions. I cried for the rest of the session, it was really humiliating and I was planning not to attend anymore. I went to a few more sessions though and I did not cry. my psychiatrist encouraged me to think back to the time I cried, and compare it to my most recent attendances. It made me feel better to be reminded of the progress I made.
good luck with group! feel free to let me know if you have additional questions. I totally see where you're coming from in terms of the SA-related worries, there's no such thing as a silly question. If it can help you recover then I'm happy to be as detailed as necessary!
