rue
chronically ill
- Sep 22, 2019
- 28
tired of playing around with death. i know this will succeed so why can't i just do it? always taking my head out the noose. i hate this. i hate how unsure this is. came close today, it was perfect but still took my head out... i wonder if i would've died if i didn't. i mean no one visits me at night i don't go to school so 10+ hours of just hanging there should've done it. but at the same time... would i be dead? i don't know there's always uncertainty. fucking life, even when you try to end it still fucks you over. nice. i just want it to end why must it be so hard. i know i must do this. i know this will work. ugh this is so annoying. and i can't live either. stuck. maybe tomorrow night. feeling like a zombie for now - dead mind, walking body.
