Venting So tired

[Wyldfyre4948]

It's 2 weeks until I buy my SN to ctb but I'm ready right now. I'm sick of laying in bed and crying because I'm beat. Every night I pray that I just don't wake up the next day. There's nothing left in me to keep fighting. Sorry that I post every day about my bullshit but I have nobody else to take it to. As far as everyone knows I'm getting better and still fighting.

I just need everything to stop already. The constant trying has left me completely empty and I'm weak. This year has taken everything I love from me and I want it to stop. The feeling that I don't matter and what I need doesn't matter may have finally broken me.

All I want is a day with my wife where we can pretend everything is normal. I won't tell her anything because I don't want to guilt trip her. It would be so nice to feel her in my arms one last time. Tell her how much she means to me and how much I love her before sending her back to wherever she's staying.

I'm tired, broken, defeated, empty, and I've got nothing left.

Again I apologize for my emo posting.

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

Don't feel guilty for expressing your emotions on here we as a community don't judge others here. Don't beat yourself up too much posting on here in fact I like seeing people's posts because it's something I can relate too.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's really understandable just wishing to be free from it all, existing here really can be so torturous and tiring, I certainly wish dying was as easy as just never waking again.

 

[todiefor]

It's nice of you to not want to guilt trip your wife, are you not even a little angry with her?

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

It's nice of you to not want to guilt trip your wife, are you not even a little angry with her?

I'm not angry with her and I can't hate her. She will always be the person I love more than anything.