So much for goodbye...

[Braindead Atheist]

I've been trying to plan my suicide since fall 2019 and the furthest I've gotten was unfinished business. I tried asking my second favorite teacher to lunch and she wanted to at first and then she just started ignoring me. Then she flat out said no "because of the delta variant" yet I see her going to the senior breakfast with past students from 2021 on facebook and then she goes on trips with her friends unmasked. I guess she just genuinely didn't want to say goodbye to me. I got hacked earlier this week and the message was an inappropriate video. I tried to explain but she blocked me on fb. I tried to explain on instagram but she never responded even though she saw it. I told her she pushed me away and that I knew she just didn't want to catch up with me and that she used me to get monarch caterpillars and thats the only reason she friended me(she didn't talk to me for a week and then just said my monarchs were beautiful and a week later asked if i could help her find some for a friend of hers. Once I told her where to look she said thankyou and just only liked my Dm's to her or didn't respond) Then I finally said "I think our meeting at oak park was a mistake"(the school I attended for academic help because I'm retarded) I apologized just incase it was a misunderstanding and put goodbye at the end. She read it but never responded. I doubt she even gave me a second thought. I guess when I kill myself, she's in for a rude awakening that she denied herself the chance to say goodbye and that she'll never ever see me again since I'll be in the void.

She used to be so kind and gentle she said I was a beautiful and wonderful soul and that I shouldn't let anyone tell me otherwise and in 5th grade she said, "Isabelle, I think it was by fate that I met yo, promise me no matter how old you grow that we will always stay in touch?" and now I guess either she changed r those were just words all along.

 

[meetapple]

Good riddance. It sounds like you did nothing wrong. However, don't CTB just to get back at her (which I'm not saying you are doing).

 

[Flare]

I've been in a similar situation, with a "friend" whom I thought would never leave me, only to have them vanish into the void, hiding behind "seen" and liked messages. That's IM services for you, I suppose. Plentry of ways to get out of conversations for free without really having to deal with how you're shattering the other person's soul.

All I can say it: good riddance. It's clear she doesn't want to talk to you, for one reason or another. I get it that she seemed like an important person for you, but do you really want to waste time and sanity behind a person who turned her back on you like it was nothing?
Let her go, and as the person above me said, if you do choose to CTB do NOT do it just as some sort of revenge.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

I've been in a similar situation, with a "friend" whom I thought would never leave me, only to have them vanish into the void, hiding behind "seen" and liked messages. That's IM services for you, I suppose. Plentry of ways to get out of conversations for free without really having to deal with how you're shattering the other person's soul.

All I can say it: good riddance. It's clear she doesn't want to talk to you, for one reason or another. I get it that she seemed like an important person for you, but do you really want to waste time and sanity behind a person who turned her back on you like it was nothing?
Let her go, and as the person above me said, if you do choose to CTB do NOT do it just as some sort of revenge.

I've been considering suicide for a number of years, this is just the final crack in the thin ice this life has been on. I'm just done. I posted my story on this website you'll be able to see it if you follow me.

 

[Fakereality]

You were used and thrown away, she said some touching words to you and give you a fake feeling of affection, than when you were on your bad time she show her true intentions, everybody acts kind when they want to get something out of you or deceive you that's why I try to be very cautious around people who used sweet sugary words.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

You were used and thrown away, she said some touching words to you and give you a fake feeling of affection, than when you were on your bad time she show her true intentions, everybody acts kind when they want to get something out of you or deceive you that's why I try to be very cautious around people who used sweet sugary words.

I hope she has a hell near death experience when she dies. She told me to "keep Jesus" in my heart. Like I don't even believe in god. Screw her.

Good riddance. It sounds like you did nothing wrong. However, don't CTB just to get back at her (which I'm not saying you are doing).

I get what you're saying and no, I was thinking of killing myself for years. I really hate life and certain things have made it unbearable. This is just the final straw.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are going through this. People can be so cruel and they can easily betray us. I understand that you have had positive times with her in the past, but she is not worth you focusing any of your attention on her. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

I'm sorry you are going through this. People can be so cruel and they can easily betray us. I understand that you have had positive times with her in the past, but she is not worth you focusing any of your attention on her. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

I just didn't expect it o come from her of all people. I guess she genuinely hated me because I saw her say she had conversations with other past students and I guess it was just me she turned on. I hope she gets brain cancer and dies a slow painful death and no one comes to her funeral.

 

[PinkSakura]

Sounds like she wouldn't care at all

 

[Braindead Atheist]

Sounds like she wouldn't care at all

She must have faked it all those years. Probably just doing it to get through her job.

 

[Jumping_realms]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

She cares not in the least, in my opinion. She's actually trying to avoid you a good bit.

I personally would try to look at it as you missed just one that wasn't interested; There will be plenty that TRULY are. That's not so easy and I know that.

If this is enough for you to CTB, that is certainly your decision. I wish you peace in whatever comes of this.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

I'm sorry you are going through this. People can be so cruel and they can easily betray us. I understand that you have had positive times with her in the past, but she is not worth you focusing any of your attention on her. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

I was thinking about trying vodo but I have my doubts about it working

 

[OnlyTheWind]

I'm sorry this has happened to you. Once again, the humans show their true colors. If I was in your position, I would derive satisfaction from viewing suicide as a punshiment on her as much as a deliverance. I hate this world.

 

[rosie93]

It starts to sound more and more creepy...

 

[Iwantedtodieforlong]

She a b1tch

 

[Braindead Atheist]

She a b1tch

No shes a richard.Since dick is short for richard, richard is long for dick! Therefore, shes a big dick!

It starts to sound more and more creepy...

how do you mean?

 

[NeverReallyHere]

She told me to "keep Jesus" in my heart. Like I don't even believe in god. Screw her.

Maybe this explains her behaviour. Evangelical religious types will often pretend to befriend vulnerable people in order to convert them. The best thing you can do is forget about her; don't give her any free real-estate in your head.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

I'm sorry this has happened to you. Once again, the humans show their true colors. If I was in your position, I would derive satisfaction from viewing suicide as a punshiment on her as much as a deliverance. I hate this world.

i will make sure she knows it's her fault

Maybe this explains her behaviour. Evangelical religious types will often pretend to befriend vulnerable people in order to convert them. The best thing you can do is forget about her; don't give her any free real-estate in your head.

I don't think so. She said that to me when I was in third grade. I went to catholic school part time and her public school part time and she said that to me as I was leaving to go back to the catholic school I attended. At the time I believed in god and we had had a long discussion about it which I don't think public schools allow. Which surprised me because she was the type that followed rules. A few months ago, I told her I was san atheist a and specifically asked her if she was offended and she said "no...not at all I wasn't offended. No worries, take care of yourself." I think shes saying that she wasn't offended to get out of a difficult conversation which I have always noticed she liked to avoid. She was always a very private person. Never talked about her family or life outside of school, always was a people pleaser and avoided conflict and confrontation. Just very cautious and careful about the way she spoke to people. I have to wonder if something happened in her past.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

I'm sorry this has happened to you. Once again, the humans show their true colors. If I was in your position, I would derive satisfaction from viewing suicide as a punshiment on her as much as a deliverance. I hate this world.

I hate life so much! I'm so tired all the damn time!