FERAL_FRENZY
Legionnaire <3
- Apr 18, 2024
- 76
This isn't the first time that I've sat down and thought about what I'd be missing out on after I die. Even in the present, there are so many communities and people who I want to interact with but can't due to social anxiety and a general fear of treating them like shit. I'm scared that I'll hurt them somehow and leave a bad taste in their mouths. It's a shame. I'm not the type to deny just how beautiful the world can be sometimes. There are so many unique, talented, intelligent, and influential people out there who're bound to bring positive change to our society. They just possess that "IT" factor that I simply can't seem to find within myself.
I don't particularly care for nature most of the time, but a couple weeks ago I finally found the courage to leave my house and go jogging with my uncle for a few hours. It was a pain in the ass (I'm asthmatic, so any kind of long-term exercise exhausts me in a matter of minutes.), but I couldn't help but take in my surroundings. The sunset looked absolutely breathtaking, and the birds seemed to glide and drift without a single care in the world. For someone who's usually glued to their screen for 8+ hours a day, a virtual replication of this scenery just wouldn't hit the same for me. There are so many good things that life has to offer, but I don't think I deserve them. And a tiny part of me hopes that this feeling will eventually consume me whole.
When I was younger, one of my biggest fears was to be forgotten. To die without truly being understood by anyone. Obviously, things have changed since then. In fact, I think I'll desire to be forgotten in the long run. Someone like me has no place on this earth. It's already plagued with enough pain and suffering as is. I don't want to add to anyone else's. This is the least I can do to repay all the people I've wronged in the past.
I don't particularly care for nature most of the time, but a couple weeks ago I finally found the courage to leave my house and go jogging with my uncle for a few hours. It was a pain in the ass (I'm asthmatic, so any kind of long-term exercise exhausts me in a matter of minutes.), but I couldn't help but take in my surroundings. The sunset looked absolutely breathtaking, and the birds seemed to glide and drift without a single care in the world. For someone who's usually glued to their screen for 8+ hours a day, a virtual replication of this scenery just wouldn't hit the same for me. There are so many good things that life has to offer, but I don't think I deserve them. And a tiny part of me hopes that this feeling will eventually consume me whole.
When I was younger, one of my biggest fears was to be forgotten. To die without truly being understood by anyone. Obviously, things have changed since then. In fact, I think I'll desire to be forgotten in the long run. Someone like me has no place on this earth. It's already plagued with enough pain and suffering as is. I don't want to add to anyone else's. This is the least I can do to repay all the people I've wronged in the past.
