So I'm thinking of my last days

[Thatdude]

I'm mid 30s autistic and living with my parents. Arguments are more and more frequent. A lot of the time the harassment on their end is more frequent. They abuse and want to use things against me. For example, because my sister is such a nasty drunk. Her daughter (4) doesn't want to spend any time with her. She for some reason loves being around me. Today she was tired and my parents argued with her to get her to eat. She does her thing and because she is too tired she wants to go to bed. They told her to go to her bed upstairs. She did, but then came back. She wanted to go to my bed. I think she doesn't want to be alone.
I was told to stop what I was doing, and lay down with her. I do, then an hour later I was told to clean the dishes (which is what I was going to do before I went upstairs). Then when I started dealing with the dishes, I was yelled at to feed some stray cat. I said, this is why nothing can get done. That I have to stop every moment to jump through yet another thing. In mid sentence my mom cut me off and started yelling at me. I went to close the dishwasher and that away I can feed the stray cat. As I was closing it, my mom started saying I need to pack up my shit and leave if I am going to treat her like this.

After thinking about it for a bit after all of this. I started to come to the conclusion that things really isn't getting any better. My original plan was to gas myself. Basically make an exit bag. But, the cost is too much, and I can't get the parts.
So this got me looking into maybe freezing myself to death. So I'm now thinking of going to the river, dipping myself in, and dying. There is 2 spots I can think of.
1. 6 miles away. It would take 2 hours to walk there. Maybe more. I most likely will be caught going there. Or worse, I might get hit by a car, taken to a hospital, and kept alive. Most likely not able to do this again. But this takes me to a bridge that is pretty high up with no safety net. It drops into a river which goes out to sea. Like I'm sure I will be found sooner or later. People do this once in a while here.
2. There is a stream that is pretty deep roughly 3 miles away. Like where it opens up because a bridge goes over it. The bridge is right over the water, and people fish on the side all the time. So there will be no jumping off the bridge and maybe that knocks me out from the sudden cold. But I can dip into it to get myself wet.

Now here is what I'm trying to figure out. Is it better to get wet and then get out of the water, or is it better to stay in the water?

Personally I don't care how I die. I just care if it is painful and what not. Like my hope with location 1 is I would be knocked out when I hit the water and that would be that. Where with 2 I don't think that is possible. But with 2 it is far easier to get to.


Note: I'm still trying to find better solutions. Like even with location 2 it would be a pain to get to on foot.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm not sure what getting out of any water would do for you. You'd be cold, certainly, but more likely than not, this would not result in a life-threatening situation, at least not right away. Are you trying to die from hypothermia with option #2? Usually, that requires getting yourself cold and staying cold, not an in-and-out kind of thing. There would be some level of pain/discomfort associated with either method, I think. Cold is cold and can be painful. Obviously, jumping from a height should produce more pain than merely taking a dip into a cold stream. You may, or may not, be knocked out if jumping from location #1. There are a lot of variables in all of this. Wait on someone else to chime in and let's see what they say.

 

[leeloosnow]

I empathize with how difficult that situation must be <3 but I don't see any reliable means of hypothermia there either. most likely you would be found and returned. i'd look for something else. best of luck, friend

 

[Thatdude]

I'm not sure what getting out of any water would do for you. You'd be cold, certainly, but more likely than not, this would not result in a life-threatening situation, at least not right away. Are you trying to die from hypothermia with option #2? Usually, that requires getting yourself cold and staying cold, not an in-and-out kind of thing. There would be some level of pain/discomfort associated with either method, I think. Cold is cold and can be painful. Obviously, jumping from a height should produce more pain than merely taking a dip into a cold stream. You may, or may not, be knocked out if jumping from location #1. There are a lot of variables in all of this. Wait on someone else to chime in and let's see what they say.

My thought with getting out of the water is the water could be warmer and tends to be warmer than the air. Getting wet helps to bleed off heat faster than not

 

[locked*n*loaded]

My thought with getting out of the water is the water could be warmer and tends to be warmer than the air. Getting wet helps to bleed off heat faster than not

Hmmm. Maybe. I suppose someone could run a "mini-test" of this theory by getting wet and just going outside and see its effects. Not quite the same thing, I know, but may give a general idea of how it may feel.