So I’m back on this site

[imissrachel]

She finally left and moved on with someone else and I am just done so… it's time but I can't jump because I'm weak. I kinda just want whatever will end it to be something I can orally take because it's not SI that I'm afraid of. I've multiple times taken large amounts of things with full intention of that being the last time I live. I've tried hanging and failed due to broken ligatures and it just got me in trouble. I almost burned up a car trying to do charcoal on a grill in my car and struggling because it wasn't as easy. I know everyone is saying this but I need help. I'm done with this life and I just don't want to keep doing what is required to just sustain life. I am done… please someone tell me a way. I am in the US in a Southern State I'll go to where I need to and I would take fent if I wasn't such a lame to not know anyone dealers but someone that has something please I can't keep ruminating on her with him. Every single one of my worst fears has happened