Method So I bought another tank.

[Jodes]

But I can't do it here either. It would be traumatic. I haven't thought this through well.

Not only that, it's being delivered tomorrow. And again I'm S***ING myself that I won't get to the door before someone else does.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Oh jeepers. Can you wait in the hallway by the door with a book?

 

[Jodes]

Oh jeepers. Can you wait in the hallway by the door with a book?

Good idea I could use my tablet, but I'd have to stay awake up to 9 hours past my normal bedtime, I'm a total night owl right now. Just hard to physically stay awake

 

[Jodes]

And I feel sooooo guilty after she last thought I was going to CTB for certain... She cried and screamed that made me hate myself beyond words!!!

 

[JustAboutDone]

Good idea I could use my tablet, but I'd have to stay awake up to 9 hours past my normal bedtime, I'm a total night owl right now. Just hard to physically stay awake

That's the trouble isn't it, when your body clock all goes to hell.

 

[Jodes]

I'm not sure if I want to send it back or not, and let her know or not

 

[Jodes]

At the least I still have the other tank for another time

 

[JustAboutDone]

And I feel sooooo guilty after she last thought I was going to CTB for certain... She cried and screamed that made me hate myself beyond words!!!

This sounds incredibly stressful!!! Arghhh
You might need to return the tank til things calm down

 

[Jodes]

This sounds incredibly stressful!!! Arghhh
You might need to return the tank til things calm down

I dont mean to be confrontational but are you having a dig at me? Am I insensitive? Do I come across as so selfish? I just don't want to Be an arsehole and not know it

 

[JustAboutDone]

Sorry for floo

I dont mean to be confrontational but are you having a dig at me? Am I insensitive? Do I come across as so selfish? I just don't want to Be an arsehole and not know it

Oh no, I'm not at all having a dig at you x
You don't remotely come across as insensitive or selfish; I just find from my own experience it's so difficult when people start getting emotional around you and not want you to harm yourself. I, personally, find it so hard to deal with - it makes me retreat from them.

 

[Jodes]

I

Oh no, I'm not at all having a dig at you x
You don't remotely come across as insensitive or selfish; I just find from my own experience it's so difficult when people start getting emotional around you and not want you to harm yourself. I, personally, find it so hard to deal with - it makes me retreat from them.

Don't want to harm others, I don't understand my emotions. Hope that makes sense. But it does not make me uncomfortable. What does, is my anxiety of getting the tone of my response right. I have asd. And a mood disorder. So I have fucking idea what I'm doing and it gets me rejected from any circle so I retreat for myself as much as others, but I wish I could just fit in.

 

[JustAboutDone]

I

Don't want to harm others, I don't understand my emotions. Hope that makes sense. But it does not make me uncomfortable. What does, is my anxiety of getting the tone of my response right. I have asd

Yes, it makes perfect sense x
and please don't be concerned about how you respond to me as I am not someone who takes offence at things like that x
You can air your thoughts as freely as you like xx

 

[Jodes]

Yes, it makes perfect sense x
and please don't be concerned about how you respond to me as I am not someone who takes offence at things like that x
You can air your thoughts as freely as you like xx

I don't express myself well either so I take no responsibility for my exact words!!!!!! Seriously I say a lot that gets me into spots of trouble for no reason other than bad connection between mouth and brain

 

[JustAboutDone]

I don't express myself well either so I take no responsibility for my exact words!!!!!! Seriously I say a lot that gets me into spots of trouble for no reason other than bad connection between mouth and brain

Hey, it's fine :-) x none of us are perfect! That's what makes life interesting x

 

[Jodes]

Hey, it's fine :-) x none of us are perfect! That's what makes life interesting x

And makes life suck. I don't want to be the one that sucks. I'd rather die

 

[ReadyasEver]

It makes perfect sense. You are human, if you truly like and care for someone, the vast majority of us do not want to harm or hurt these people. It's very emotional and takes a huge toll on you. I wish I had good advice to give you, another than one step at a time. Move forward deliberately if you can.

 

[Jodes]

Ok I'm not welcome am I

 

[Jodes]

I wish someone would stand up for me about the truth

 

[JustAboutDone]

I wish someone would stand up for me about the truth

How can I help? Xx

 

[Jodes]

How can I help? Xx

Kill me

 

[JustAboutDone]

Kill me

I'm sorry I can't do that xx

 

[Jodes]

I'm sorry I can't do that xx

Thanks for talking to me at least. Not sure why you'd want to. I'm sorry if I'm being rude

 

[JustAboutDone]

Thanks for talking to me at least. Not sure why you'd want to

It's nice to talk to you x

 

[Jodes]

People kill themselves leaving varying amounts of damage. Doing varying amounts of preparation.

 

[Jodes]

And I am being trolled a lot today. Just about done, can you tell me what is going on with this charade please??

 

[JustAboutDone]

Yes I agree, it can be difficult can't it? Xx

 

[Jodes]

Yes I agree, it can be difficult can't it? Xx

Sarcasm??

 

[JustAboutDone]

Sarcasm??

No sarcasm, I was agreeing with you. I think it can be very difficult. However well prepared things can always go wrong x

 

[Jodes]

Yeh like hurting people

 

[Jodes]

Gaslighting