so excited to go

[gizzreid]

it sounds wrong but i'm actually excited, that's how i can tell i'm ready to go too. i have autism, the other night i literally started happy stimming to the thought of taking SN and putting on my favorite songs and just drifting off. it's also just really comforting to think about things that upset me about the future, like how my long term partner just basically ghosted me and i can't deal with that, and reminding myself it won't matter soon. it's so comforting. i think about all my future bills i'm gonna miss because i'm too poor and get nervous and upset, and then i remember it won't matter. money doesn't matter where i am going. and then i just sigh with relief. i'm scared to some degree because i have no clue where i go after this, but i'm slowly processing that thought and the fear is going away. it's like being in a play, in a way

 

[Octavia]

Knowing that all of your troubles will be taken care of soon can be a comforting thought.

 

[FuneralCry]

Actually it doesn't sound wrong at all, I think that it makes sense to feel relieved about leaving everything behind. Life really is just a futile and useless struggle filled with endless problems and suffering, and death solves everything. I see leaving this world as being ideal as it removes the true cause of all problems in the first place which is life in itself. I wish you the best with your plans.