Help SN vomiting- abandon or keep going?

[BleedingHeart]

A conversation for future reference...

I read in the suicide wiki that if you vomit using SN (or other poisoning), that you should attempt to bring up as much of the vomit/poison as possible and abandon your attempt and get help. Although, in many other threads people suggest prepping and drinking more of the solution in case you vomit in hopes of succeeding to CTB.

I'm not sure what the best option would truly be. I feel like if I were to vomit, I'd do my best to gulp down more solution if I could so I knew I gave it my best go at CTB.
(I was planning on setting up 3 drinks in case of vomiting).

What are your thoughts in this regard and why do you feel the way you do about it? If you vomited, would you risk abandoning your attempt to try again at a different date or would you push forward and keep drinking as much as you could handle in hopes it would work? (Maybe this is a silly question knowing we all ultimately wanna CTB; but maybe there's concern about being in worse condition, but alive, by a botched attempt.) maybe this is a case of determining "risk versus reward"? Risk of worse condition physically/mentally and psych ward and having to try again later and it possibly being more difficult to execute plan versus forging ahead and possibly still being able to CTB with extra gulps after vomiting...

Interested to hear your thoughts. Thanks, everyone.

 

[Stan]

I am making three glasses. If the first one stays down then I won't touch the other two. If some comes up, then I am going to continue using the other glasses until I think I have 50ml in my stomach. I also won't be interrupted.

 

[Are you lost too?]

I share this doubt too.

Additionally to what you have already said, one worry I have Is, given you vomit, if you try again your stomach will already be weaker, hence the odds of vomiting again are even higher than they were on the first attempt.

To be honest I haven't decided yet. I have a strong stomach - rarely puke, even for lots of alcohol, it only occurred twice lol.

But im inclined to drinking one more cup. Because I'm kind of paranoid and I'll be thinking a part of it was absorbed, but only to the extent to leave me with sequels (brain damage if some part of it spends a lot of time without oxygen) but not dead. even if there is no brais damage, it will result in psych ward and after I get out of it extreme surveillance so it would take ages for me to try to ctb again.

I guess like everything else in life and death, each one of us has to inform themselves and then weight the gains losses and risks.

I am making three glasses. If the first one stays down then I won't touch the other two. If some comes up, then I am going to continue using the other glasses until I think I have 50ml in my stomach. I also won't be interrupted.

In a scenario you puke the whole thing the first time. Would you still drink the second cup?

 

[Stan]

In a scenario you puke the whole thing the first time. Would you still drink the second cup?

yep

 

[BleedingHeart]

I share this doubt too.

Additionally to what you have already said, one worry I have Is, given you vomit, if you try again your stomach will already be weaker, hence the odds of vomiting again are even higher than they were on the first attempt.

To be honest I haven't decided yet. I have a strong stomach - rarely puke, even for lots of alcohol, it only occurred twice lol.

But im inclined to drinking one more cup. Because I'm kind of paranoid and I'll be thinking a part of it was absorbed, but only to the extent to leave me with sequels (brain damage if some part of it spends a lot of time without oxygen) but not dead. even if there is no brais damage, it will result in psych ward and after I get out of it extreme surveillance so it would take ages for me to try to ctb again.

I guess like everything else in life and death, each one of us has to inform themselves and then weight the gains losses and risks.

In a scenario you puke the whole thing the first time. Would you still drink the second cup?

Yeah, my thoughts are similar to you both in this scenario. I think I'd rather try extra gulps than risk all the rest just to end up steps backwards. I just get hung up on "rules" (Wiki) and know it can be reversible if you fail in time so I wasn't totally sure what the best option was. Thanks for talking it out.

 

[Are you lost too?]

Yeah, my thoughts are similar to you both in this scenario. I think I'd rather try extra gulps than risk all the rest just to end up steps backwards. I just get hung up on "rules" (Wiki) and know it can be reversible if you fail in time so I wasn't totally sure what the best option was. Thanks for talking it out.

No problem :)

I think the best is to have this backup plan but also trust the medication (you damn shrinks I'm using your phrases against you) so that believing The ae will work and you're not gonna Puke will make you calmer.

About the wiki, I would advise you to be careful. I read in one post here these days that anyone can edit it and it might have been contaminated by the pro lifers
but I'm not certain on this

 

[Stan]

About the wiki, I would advise you to be careful. I read in one post here these days that anyone can edit it and it might have been contaminated by the pro lifers
but I'm not certain on this

It has

 

[BleedingHeart]

No problem :)

I think the best is to have this backup plan but also trust the medication (you damn shrinks I'm using your phrases against you) so that believing The ae will work and you're not gonna Puke will make you calmer.

About the wiki, I would advise you to be careful. I read in one post here these days that anyone can edit it and it might have been contaminated by the pro lifers
but I'm not certain on this

Ughhh I wasn't aware of that; thank you for letting me know what you heard. Really makes it hard to trust much of anything. As for the AE's, I'm just pretty paranoid in general these days so it's going to be tough to trust they'll work but I'll try.

 

[Are you lost too?]

Ughhh I wasn't aware of that; thank you for letting me know what you heard. Really makes it hard to trust much of anything. As for the AE's, I'm just pretty paranoid in general these days so it's going to be tough to trust they'll work but I'll try.

The aes aren't a guarantee either.. and there are people who were gone even without ae. I guess it depends much on your organism.
Have you read the guide Stan posted? It's a very concise reunion of info; and without the influence of people who ask lots of paranoid questions that can make we feel even more anxious.

 

[BleedingHeart]

The aes aren't a guarantee either.. and there are people who were gone even without ae. I guess it depends much on your organism.
Have you read the guide Stan posted? It's a very concise reunion of info; and without the influence of people who ask lots of paranoid questions that can make we feel even more anxious.

Yes. :) I read it several times the other day and sketched out my "plan"/schedule of meds and such. It did help a lot but I still hit some roadblocks that I need to figure out. I probably should not risk using NO antiemetics since I'm already an anxious person and can imagine I will already have nervous stomach when it comes time to CTB.

 

[Are you lost too?]

Yes. :) I read it several times the other day and sketched out my "plan"/schedule of meds and such. It did help a lot but I still hit some roadblocks that I need to figure out. I probably should not risk using NO antiemetics since I'm already an anxious person and can imagine I will already have nervous stomach when it comes time to CTB.

Yep, for sure, get the ae!
If you have any doubts feel free to talk to me :) I'm no expert but I've been searching a lot

 

[sanction]

Good question/ thread. With that being said, I feel antiemetics definitely aren't all that reliable, but of course better than not taking it at all. Because it seems like a fair amount of people still vomit despite taking them. Although I could be wrong, but I'm guessing the vomit also comes from mentally. I can imagine a scenario where the person followed the regime and has already not ate anything for 48 hours, then drink something super salty or unpleasant on an empty stomach, while being nervous at the same time knowing it will shut down your body, so it naturally causes you to want to gag or cough as a natural reaction, which causes everything to come back out of your body. I was always thinking.... if after drinking the SN, would it help if you chew on something that taste good to help remove some of the SN's after-taste, but just don't swallow it and spit it back out? Or gargle some other liquid with tasty flavors, etc.

 

[Are you lost too?]

Good question/ thread. With that being said, I feel antiemetics definitely aren't all that reliable, but of course better than not taking it at all. Because it seems like a fair amount of people still vomit despite taking them. Although I could be wrong, but I'm guessing the vomit also comes from mentally. I can imagine a scenario where the person followed the regime and has already not ate anything for 48 hours, then drink something super salty or unpleasant on an empty stomach, while being nervous at the same time knowing it will shut down your body, so it naturally causes you to want to gag or cough as a natural reaction, which causes everything to come back out of your body. I was always thinking.... if after drinking the SN, would it help if you chew on something that taste good to help remove some of the SN's after-taste, but just don't swallow it and spit it back out? Or gargle some other liquid with tasty flavors, etc.

Ugh.... pretty agonizing to ready it imagine going through it lol it's necessary to be super decided

Have no idea about your suggestions for the taste. Due to fear of altering anything lol I plan on making no or just small changes on the protocol

 

[BleedingHeart]

Good question/ thread. With that being said, I feel antiemetics definitely aren't all that reliable, but of course better than not taking it at all. Because it seems like a fair amount of people still vomit despite taking them. Although I could be wrong, but I'm guessing the vomit also comes from mentally. I can imagine a scenario where the person followed the regime and has already not ate anything for 48 hours, then drink something super salty or unpleasant on an empty stomach, while being nervous at the same time knowing it will shut down your body, so it naturally causes you to want to gag or cough as a natural reaction, which causes everything to come back out of your body. I was always thinking.... if after drinking the SN, would it help if you chew on something that taste good to help remove some of the SN's after-taste, but just don't swallow it and spit it back out? Or gargle some other liquid with tasty flavors, etc.

Mentally I think is probably the hardest. I already worry about gagging because of that. I did drink salt water the other day for this purpose and blocked my sense of smell while drinking and followed with a tablespoon of honey which helped a lot in that scenario. Not sure how much it will help come that time though. :|

Yep, for sure, get the ae!
If you have any doubts feel free to talk to me :) I'm no expert but I've been searching a lot

Thank you! :)

 

[Dubs]

Keep in mind the true lethal dose is a small fraction of recommended mixture. You only need to get a few g's into circulation. Even if you vomit and don't keep drinking you will likely die. I believe no one has survived a commited attempt where you don't call an ambulance or get found.

 

[lightsoutnow]

It has

well, shit. I was still looking at that as a reference. I guess I'll ignore it completely and refer to your SN comprehensive guide thread.

 

[khw777]

I am making three glasses. If the first one stays down then I won't touch the other two. If some comes up, then I am going to continue using the other glasses until I think I have 50ml in my stomach. I also won't be interrupted.

If you throw up on first try seems like you would keep throwing on other tries. Just my thoughts.

yep

How will you be successful if you keep throwing up even after the first glass?

 

[Daniela]

@trynacbt raised the possibility of vomiting while unconscious. How much of a founded fear is that, when taking into account following the regimen to the letter?

I would venture a guess and say that one could still CTB provided one isn't interrupted. But of course, @trynacbt and I are attempting this with our parents sleeping in the next room.

 

[CrushedHopes]

I'd say keep going if you really want to put yourself out of your misery.

For me, I try not to think of any possibility of failure. Since I had fucked up so much in my life, the one thing that I would REALLY not want to fail on is ending myself. There needs to be at least one thing that I do right, and that is successfully CTBing.

 

[sleepy dog]

I read in the suicide wiki that if you vomit using SN (or other poisoning), that you should attempt to bring up as much of the vomit/poison as possible and abandon your attempt and get help.

I can't find where it says that in the suicide wiki.

@trynacbt raised the possibility of vomiting while unconscious. How much of a founded fear is that, when taking into account following the regimen to the letter?

It is possible to vomit when unconscious. I did when I was 14 and tried to kill myself. I didn't remember vomiting at all but was told I did and would have died if my father had not found me.

 

[Stan]

I think you need to take yourselves on a case by case basis. I will say that if you factor in failing as part of your plan, then you will likely fail and that brings a whole new world of worry. I never like to use the word 'attempt' as it means I am considering failure. I am going to do it and I will be successful because I know the aftermath of being caught or calling for help through the stories here are a new level of Hell. So yeah, there is a chance of being sick. I will keep going until its done. 50ml in reality is not a lot to keep down, especially if you have done the fast and not drunk any liquid for a couple of hours.

Being prepared for when things go a bit wrong is good (like having more than one glass of SN) but planning for failure such as having your phone nearby to call for help or doing it at a time that you think is a good chance you will be found is not. If you find yourself in the second camp, then I would suggest you are not ready for any method and should look at a more positive way of getting the attention you may be looking for.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Being sick isn't automatically going to mean failure. There are plenty of accounts of people being sick and still succeeding. As already mentioned though if success is your prerogative I would down another glass of SN just in case. Which will be what I do if I'm sick anyways.

 

[khw777]

Being sick isn't automatically going to mean failure. There are plenty of accounts of people being sick and still succeeding. As already mentioned though if success is your prerogative I would down another glass of SN just in case. Which will be what I do if I'm sick anyways.

What do you mean sick - throwing up?

 

[Stan]

What do you mean sick - throwing up?

being sick is a british way of saying vomiting

 

[khw777]

Ok thanks

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Yes throwing up. It's not going to happen with everyone but it's still possible even with the 48 hr regimen of anti-e. I guess it ultimately comes down to how sick you become and how much SN is absorbed already. But again I plan to have back up doses at the ready myself.

 

[BleedingHeart]

I think you need to take yourselves on a case by case basis. I will say that if you factor in failing as part of your plan, then you will likely fail and that brings a whole new world of worry. I never like to use the word 'attempt' as it means I am considering failure. I am going to do it and I will be successful because I know the aftermath of being caught or calling for help through the stories here are a new level of Hell. So yeah, there is a chance of being sick. I will keep going until its done. 50ml in reality is not a lot to keep down, especially if you have done the fast and not drunk any liquid for a couple of hours.

Being prepared for when things go a bit wrong is good (like having more than one glass of SN) but planning for failure such as having your phone nearby to call for help or doing it at a time that you think is a good chance you will be found is not. If you find yourself in the second camp, then I would suggest you are not ready for any method and should look at a more positive way of getting the attention you may be looking for.

I would likely need my phone for awhile in hotel to stall in case people check up on where I am and so I could respond to delay or put them off the scent of where I am. I guess maybe I should just forget that and know if they don't have contact with me then they will still have trouble tracking me down. I'd still need phone to wipe history before I CTB (not sure if deleting phone history like normal is enough or if there's a protocol for that. I'll look into it.) I wonder if I turn my phone off when arrive at hotel and leave it in the car if its location can be tracked/pinged in the event my family calls authorities and concerned for my whereabouts...
also @Stan, I was going to go by your guide and try to aim for midnight SN drink time but with your suggestion of having tv on in hotel to cover any possible noise), I worry people would be more suspicious of tv and noise at midnight than during day. Not sure. I overthink but I also want to succeed and also alleviate any potential worries I could have in that moment. (Sorry I kind of got off track with my original concern of vomiting.)

 

[Stan]

I would likely need my phone for awhile in hotel to stall in case people check up on where I am and so I could respond to delay or put them off the scent of where I am. I guess maybe I should just forget that and know if they don't have contact with me then they will still have trouble tracking me down. I'd still need phone to wipe history before I CTB (not sure if deleting phone history like normal is enough or if there's a protocol for that. I'll look into it.) I wonder if I turn my phone off when arrive at hotel and leave it in the car if its location can be tracked/pinged in the event my family calls authorities and concerned for my whereabouts...
also @Stan, I was going to go by your guide and try to aim for midnight SN drink time but with your suggestion of having tv on in hotel to cover any possible noise), I worry people would be more suspicious of tv and noise at midnight than during day. Not sure. I overthink but I also want to succeed and also alleviate any potential worries I could have in that moment. (Sorry I kind of got off track with my original concern of vomiting.)

it's a hotel room so your business in there is yours and yours alone. If you have your TV on it won't raise an eyebrow. Do it at a time that is convenient for you. My guide used midnight as it was easy to do calculations, nothing more, nothing less. If you have an Iphone, factory resent in settings will do the job. will erase absolutely anything so make a note of key numbers if you feel the need. Phones switched off can't be pinged.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

@BleedingHeart If the phone has any sort of battery life it can be tracked nowadays. I've read a story or two on here even of members being located like this. One had said the police contacted Google to track down the phone and ultimately intervene in the attempt.

I plan to leave any traceable devices as far away as possible before any such attempt. Any sort of intervention could potentially render the attempt pointless in the first place.

 

[BleedingHeart]

it's a hotel room so your business in there is yours and yours alone. If you have your TV on it won't raise an eyebrow. Do it at a time that is convenient for you. My guide used midnight as it was easy to do calculations, nothing more, nothing less. If you have an Iphone, factory resent in settings will do the job. will erase absolutely anything so make a note of key numbers if you feel the need. Phones switched off can't be pinged.

thanks. I thought midnight was good for me because it would be easier to lay down and just imagine myself going to sleep and of course having all night to pass with less chance of interruption of any kind. I know I can adjust things I guess I'm just talking it all out and trying to formulate what's best for my situation.